that's now myth, that's now real

get more annoyed about beauty standards for women immediately

There are US Senators dying who have never died before

good news, she is one of the ones who escaped the cult

you dumb asshole, you just won $0,000

😍fuck

tomorrow i fix my life #fixmylife #tomorrow

i need to forgive myself for everything by this weekend so i can start fixing my life from next week

guy whos incompatible with life itself

im going to explode in the kiln

I think if I heard I Gotta Feeling by The Black Eyed Peas in the correct circumstances it could move me to tears. It's like the promise of a brighter future that never came to pass

man i just dont know why im so afraid all the time (<- has the disorder that makes you afraid all the time)

if i was in the world cup well i would just score a goal Lol then if the other team scored one i'd score another

basketball dracula isn't real dude he can't-- *sudden squeaking noises from the shadows*

*two pool toys having sex tumble by in the wind* oh thank god

*thunderous slam dunk noise*

women should get even more childless

i havent done anything or been anyone ever

call my dick the tower of babel the way god wont let me erect it