who am i

it turns out that making big positive changes in your life is great but it also forces you to reckon with the years you spent not really living and makes you feel like you're carrying the corpse of a 20 year old girl on your back

"Maybe it's just stress/anxiety" is so crazy as a Dismissive Statement because even when it *is* anxiety it's such an understatement to be like "how about you just chill out idk" when your body is poisoning itself with its own stress hormones. Like okay sometimes it is anxiety. This is still physically happening to me

"It's probably just stress" and it's like well documented that it can just kill people sometimes

u can be boiling alive in your mind for months and then on a random tuesday ur head gets so clear and life is worth living again and you're like damn what was all that about then

i’m really sorry about my behavior. you see, growing up, my family- *remembers blaming all my problems on other people is really annoying and unhealthy* i mean. i am responsible for all the evils of this world and i bear sins like the sky bears the stars

yeah i don't understand why people say they would still want to work if they had a choice, the physical and mental toll of employment is unbearable. i mean i can barely stomach getting out of bed most days, not to mention the emotional breakdowns and recurring desire to run away and become a missing persons case- [there is a man standing behind me with a comically large hammer labelled 'UNDIAGNOSED DISABILITY'] yo who invited this guy. what's he doing here.

guy who has a mental health condition that comes and goes: i’m cured this time actually i can feel it

same guy when they start having symptoms again: what the fuck is happening and why

(in the middle of a heartfelt conversation, with concerning sincerity) and dont forget that I am evil, and that my death will be announced with singing in the streets

"you were always such a good kid! we never had to worry about you :)" thanks! you actually should've, though. like about this specifically

does anyone know if being kept in a state of constant anxiety and insecurity for 25 years is bad for you??

*person whos never been loved voice* yeah its so cool when people tolerate my presence without making fun of me