something that is almost jarringly lacking from the strattland conversation is that of eva as grace's abuser. it makes perfect sense, because the words abuse and abuser often come with this idea of intention to harm. that the perpetrator must be inherently evil and the victim inherently pure, that they must have a relationship of captivity and without forgiveness ever gracing it, and no one wants to think about that when thinking about the blorbo machine.
plenty of posts have been made about how grace might not be angry with stratt, because that is not his temperament, but he would never forgive her for her actions. and anyone who has read the phm book could tell you about how eva is effectively keeping grace captive from the moment they meet. interestingly enough this is 'softened up' for the film adaptation, where he shows his interest in the project and willingness to stay on. yes, he never consents to going onto the hail mary himself, but in the book this feeling of captivity starts way earlier.
grace as 'the abused' and eva as 'the abuser' does not even contradict any of their respective stories or characterizations. the contrary, once you see it you can't stop unseeing it. grace is marked forever. grace's life is changed in irreversible ways. he'll never set foot on earth again. his body is changed. with the amnesia, with the starvation on the way to erid (book), with the scar from rocky's claw (film). his view of himself and of the world around him is fundamentally torn apart and pieced back together multiple times.
eva is less classic in this presentation. she's a conduit for everyone who has placed the literal weight of the world onto her shoulders. every single government in the world has decided She is the one who is going to save them. it's not 'no matter the cost', because the cost is clear. and the cost isn't antarctica, or the sahara, or even grace, the cost is eva. the cost is her personhood, and her humanity. even better, she does fulfill the idea of the abuser that sets out to harm. she does everything with full awareness. she knows how horrible the things she is doing are. but she isn't given the choice, and we know this. we agree with her, and sympathize with her. and we do this because she is as much the abuser as she is the abused. she is also a victim. she's much closer to grace than to any of the governments that bow down to her (see too: yao telling grace he's the 2nd in command (book)). both of them are victims of impossible circumstances.
eva does not break the cycle, not because she's 'not strong enough' or anything like that, but because she is Human. so many of us do not break the cycle. grace certainly doesn't break the cycle - he wouldn't have anyone to inflict the continuation of the cycle onto. we never see what grace would have done if there was someone that came after him.
and all of this forces you to ask yourself whether this idea of abuse is truly as cut and dry as we would like it to seem. it would be so nice to live in a world where the Danger is clear and obvious, because that way you can keep yourself and your loved ones safe. but the danger isn't obvious. the danger is people who are equal to you in power (grace and eva), and people who are superior to you in power (eva and the governments of the world), and people who are inferior to you in power (eva and grace). and you have to live with that danger. grace lives with that danger. the danger isn't an Obvious Dangerous Man stalking you. the danger laughs at no one's jokes but yours.
the interpretation that grace wouldn't be angry with eva is so common I can't think of any other way. and isn't that just fucking brilliant? isn't that painfully conflicting and tearing you apart to think about? that you cannot forgive your abuser, nor should you ever have to, but that you can never be truly angry with her because you got to know her. she wasn't allowed to keep her humanity, but you were.
