Mime (Professionally diagnosed)

i very much want to clarify before people get mad at me: i am not saying this is a thing that matters genuinely literally at all ever. i just am curious if most people care or are even aware of this.

you can post on tumblr even when you're trying to take a break from social media it literally doesn't count. it's like pepsi max, or pescatarianism

i tried watching Picard but every time I downloaded it the second episode was corrupted so bad it fucked up VLC

a customer returned a drink because a fly flew into it and said: “one of your flies flew into my drink” and my coworker was so confused that they just said: “…my fly?”

#MyFly

My faceblindness is JUST enough that I'm not certain if this is Hugh Laurie or just a scruffy white guy with blue eyes but he's DEFINITELY doing the Hugh Laurie mouth thing so I'm about 70% certain it is

No that's definitely Hugh Laurie.

you let shit get bad enough and the cenobites start just using the hellraiser cube portal to "check in on you" and not even do that many tortures

Yeah dude fuck you too.

accused of using too many ellipses... don't care... there's always more to come...

new better call saul spin-off:  a demolition crew in albuquerque is destroying the ground of the old meth lab seeking the legendary heisenberg’s treasure. they find an old ornate coffin at the bottom of it, with the words ‘LALO’ engraved on it. noting that it’s locked from inside, they decide to open it as the sun is about to set…

we see a little kid in florida stealing a pie from a windowsill. a dramatic close-up reveals the legendary mcgill birthmark…

guy whos email is mario19 cuz he is 19 years old and when hes 20 he deletes the old mail and resigns up to every service with mario20 and when he gets to mario25 and its in use already he solidifies into a stone statue and stays in stasis for a year