i love poison omelette

-1

-1

-1

got some kick to it i tell you what

You will not die at the hands of quicksand. Ask me how I know this

Please, how do you know this?

quicksand does not have any hands

i've been phasing the phrase 'google it' out of my vocabulary and going back to 'look it up'. fuck you youve lost your generic trademark privileges

im quitting tumblr

ok see u tomorrow

this post is now 10 fucking years old

and ur ass is still here

here at the sandwich shop, we’ve started to notice some people who are new to sandwiches aren’t used to meat and cheese between two slices of bread. they find this practice strange and confusing. that’s why we’ve decided to cut the bread out all together. from now on, we’ll just serve slices of meat and cheese on a plate.

we know that many of our loyal sandwich shop customers have been coming here for years to buy our delicious sandwiches. but some people don’t “get” sandwiches, and we need to try and appeal to them with an easier-to-understand meal format. we will no longer be serving sandwiches. all of our food will just be cold cuts on a paper plate. we love our customers and appreciate your understanding <3

Yes we know Craig's Cold Cuts down the street does cold cuts better than we do and has millions of customers. That's why we need to switch to cold cuts, to get their customers. We hope that our long-time sandwich loving customer base will be patient in this transition to cold cuts and welcome the certain influx of Craig's Cold Cut customers who will surely come here to enjoy our worse cold cuts with you, our sandwich-deprived customer base, whom we value so much.

I love how this goes around again every time the tumblr staff does something fucking stupid.

Ok if we exclude Palpatine who has the gayest lightsaber?

“well. plays the cards i’m given” has profoundly changed something in me. litany against wallowing in an unsatisfactory situation

I’ve given the worst 12 years of my life to this site

what they don’t tell you about using a website consistently for over a decade is that you’ll have multiple internet friends you’re pretty sure have died but you’ll never know because they never gave their full name. their blog is like a monument and mortuary, a snapshot into their thoughts and a time where they could still think them. either that or they’re fine and they’re no longer into Gorillaz or whatever.

No this is book accurate

As the Ides of March approaches, let us all remember it not as the day Caesar was stabbed a whole bunch, but for what it truly was: the day a group of organized elected representatives killed a sitting unelected dictator.

too much undertale/deltarune content has me playing other games and thinking "well naturally at some point they must address the seperation between player and player-character, their status as a vessel and the inherent unfairness of having us control their life, right?" as if thats just a normal thing for videogames to contain.

do you think mario resents me for making him drive go kart