i promised you š¦
(crossposting from x, bsky, & ig)

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DEAR READER
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blake kathryn
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@raintofall
i promised you š¦
(crossposting from x, bsky, & ig)

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Damen is so insane that he wanted to give up his whole kingdom to rule a bit of land in the middle for a guy he hated two months ago
not people saying that sterek wasnāt queerbait.Ā
pssft. sterek was the most obvious case of queerbait in the 2010s. shipped it or not mtv and jeff davis used the ship and the question of stilesās sexuality as a marketing tool. more than once. which is what queerbait is.Ā
like they literally had dylan oābrien and hoechlin on that damn boat. i was there gandalf. i was there.Ā
The reviews on Goodreads about Capri baffle me itās almost like we didnāt read the same books.
People are just tossing big words and adding the « itās not sexyĀ Ā» like yeah no shit thatās the point of the story. The whole universe is built on fucked up ideologies that existed (maybe not exactly that way ;it was worst irl) but existed in the respective timelines Vere and Akielon were inspired of and the books are not romanticizing any of it but showing how damaging and wrong slavery, rape, pedophilia, vengeance, greed ect ect are and showing how two people raised in those ideologies managed to not only accept a different culture but accept the flaws of their own and are willing to change it and better their societies.
And for the folks out there that are mad about (spoiler alert) the way Laurent treated Damen I wonder how yāall would react if the person who took away the only family you had and was the catalyst of everything that went wrong in your life was in front of you in chains. The books didnāt romanticized that either btw, Laurent knew who Damen was and hated his guts and that blinded him. This was highlighted when Damen told him that if he was anyone else Laurent would have freed him; this alone speaks volumes about where Laurent stands. And for Damen he didnāt fall in love with Laurent after being flogged but after a long journey of discovering who Laurent is really and both of them taking the time to heal the wounds the war left.
+Those two are actually one of the rare well written enemies to lovers ships.
After a moment, Laurent said, āHe would have liked you.ā
āEven after I started courting his little brother?ā said Damen carefully.
i read fics specifically for this

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Vague horror/supernatural lucemond au (donāt take this too seriously itās just vibes)-
In the days after the events of Stormās End, Aemond finds himself haunted by flashes of his nephew, glimpses of a dead boy out of the corner of his eye, in the empty space of a room as he walks by, there just behind the glass pane of his window-heāll go somewhere new and be free of the specter and days later, Lucerys will tease his vision once more. Aemond feels he is losing his mind just the same as the Greens are losing this war, nearly every move they make stopped before it can be taken or defeated so soundly it was as if their plans had been delivered into the hands of the Black Queen herself.
āāā
Luke doesnāt speak to him at first, barely looks *at* him even when Aemond shouts and curses but when the one-eyed Targeryenās words trickle then pour into apologies and whispers, begs for forgiveness, the fallen prince turns and smiles, a sweet thing, gone and there in the flash of a second before he too disappears. Aemond feels his heart break.
āāā
The next time he sees Lucerys is when he has returned to the Keep, watches his niece and nephews play together, a moment of respite in these long and bloody weeks when he feels a presence at his back, shivers when a low voice murmurs into his ear. I always wanted children you know, Aemond closes his eye and listens, we wouldnāt have been able to have them ourselves but perhaps someone could have had one born for us-a little heir for our Driftmark, a tear slides down his cheek, too late for that now it seems.
Jaehaerys looks up and wonders why the shadows around his uncle seem so dark.
āāā
Vhagar is uneasy around him now. In the days, hours, minutes after she had swallowed a Velaryon son whole, the bond between rider and dragon had shuddered under the strain of such differing, such despairing emotions and it has recovered little in the time since. He rarely flies her out to battle, has little desire to climb up to her saddle, and in turn she shies away when he approaches as of late-a mountain of an ancient beast shying away from a shell of a broken man.
Aemond is unbothered by it, has found himself enraptured by a new creature or perhaps a familiar one is a better description. Lucerys does not disappear so often nowadays, stands by his side or near his back, speaks more now, near whispers that Aemond always strains to hear more of but it is the touch he craves most-soft hands threading through his long hair, light fingers tracing the planes of his face, teasing lips pressed to the line of his scar. He is not allowed to touch back-the scratches along his arm from the first and last time he tried proof of that-but thatās okay. He does not deserve it, more content to let his nephew do and take what he wants.
āāā
Lucerys is for his gaze alone, no one else has noticed the slip of a boy who trails after him and who Aemond chases on the occasions Luke grows bored and drifts away-he does not disappear as often anymore and Aemond is grateful for it-no one has noticed until now.
The Targaryen prince is in Harrenhal, one of the few victories the Greens have been able to snatch and heās been given his orders wipe them from this earth, every last descendant and servant of House Strong, a punishment and a testament to Rhaenyra and her boys and yet he has not done so, instead walks the courtyard of prisoners as Luke hisses in his ear to leave, that if a slaughter takes place, the dead prince will never be by his side again, gone forever but never forgotten.
They both know Aemond wouldnāt-, couldnāt forget him, would most likely chase after Lucerys into the afterlife as well if it was the only way to be near once more. Aemond surveys those before him and pauses-a woman stares at him, no-not at him but at the space by his shoulder, where Lucerys grips him tight and drags his uncle lower. It is the first time someone has acknowledged the presence of the one by his side.
āWe will not be murderers of the innocent. Kill Lord Lyonel and keep the rest in chains. That one,ā Aemond points at the maid, ābring her to my chambers immediately.ā
The kiss Luke presses to his cheek is biting and he leans into the feel of it.
āāā
Her name is Alys Rivers and she looks calm even as Aemond is seated before her and senses her terror beneath the cold mask of her exterior.
āThey say you see things in the fires. What has come to pass long ago and what will come to pass in the future, things that no one else does. Tell me, woman, what do you see now?ā
āI do not know.ā
Aemond growls, āAnswer me or it will be your head too on a spike along with your lordās.ā
Lucerys smirks at him, pulls his uncleās hand to where he sits on the floor spinning the rings on his hand over and over, pleased when Aemond does not deny him the motion and in turn does not acknowledge what is most likely his half-sister.
āI seeā¦I see two princes. One alive and before me and the other-,ā Alys looks to Luke, āyou should not be here.ā
Luke smiles, a fragile thing that makes Aemond ache with sorrow, and addresses the Rivers woman at least, āI should not have died either.ā
Aemond lunges for the empty space where Luke has disappeared from, turns to snarl at the only other person in the room now, āWhat did you do?ā
āHe should not be here-he is half dead, half alive, stuck between two worlds and belonging to neither. It is wrong,ā Alys has grown bold with the source of her fear gone, lifts her head and looks down on the Targaryen prince. She shrieks when he grabs her, drags her to the flames of the fireplace, and presses her near to the heat of it, reminds her what the wrath of the dragon feels like.
āHe belongs by my side. Tell me how to bring him back,ā Aemond yanks her away from the crackling fire and throws her to floor, turns his back on Alys as he pushes the palm of his hand into the hollow where his sapphire lies, the pain of it near blinding with the action, voice cracking when he continues, āplease. I will stop all this, I swear it, tell me how to bring him back to me and I will seat Rhaenyra on the throne myself.ā
The smell of burnt hair fills her nose, the sight of a desperate man fills her vision, and it is words that should be left unspoken that fill her mouth.
āāā
Lucerys Velaryon should not have been killed by his uncle. Aemond Targaryen should not have killed his nephew. To kinslay is an evil thing, to kill a beloved just as cruel.
It is difficult to sever the bonds between two who are joined in such a way and even death struggles to fully separate the princes. Alys Rivers sees the threads of fate that link them together and she cannot fix what has been cut but she can tell him how toā¦rearrange things so that what is dead becomes alive and what is alive becomes dead. The Stranger will accept it this one time if the balance is even once more.
Lucerys Velaryon is dead. Aegon Targeryen is alive. Aemond Targaryen grieves.
Lucerys Velaryon is alive. Aegon Targeryen is dead. Aemond Targaryen rejoices.
You cannot be a kinslayer twice over if the death of one brings about the life again of the other. The scales are even and settled-the Stranger nods his satisfaction.
āāā
Rhaenyra and her closest guards stream into the throne room just as Aemond finishes cleaning the blood from his blade, wipes it on the overcoat that his brother wears-wore. Aegon is dead now and Aemond does not, can not mourn, not when Luke stands before him looking brighter than he has in weeks, strong and lovely and alive. Barely hears the cries of shock and confusion from the gathering crowd as Aemond takes in the vision of a blinding smile while his nephewās arms wrap around his neck to pull him down for a searing kiss. Lucerys draws back and Aemond chases the feel of it once more, has traded with death once for the ability to do so and would gladly do it again as finds himself interrupted when the younger speaks.
āDid you miss me, qybor?ā
Aemond presses his yes into Lucerysā mouth.
Fuck, whoever thought of this, I love your mind <3<3
finished editing last chapter of not the boy i used to beĀ :((((/:)))) will post tmrw. itās gone through so many rewrites and edits both small and large. i feel like i canāt get it right, but i know that has more to do with it being the end than anything else. what will i do without more of this to write??? besides the epilogue but shhhhh
every other day I log onto ao3 and post another chapter of my amnesia/modern au that I emphasized was a slow burn in which Luke is a little shit and also every other day I log onto ao3 and the comments on that fic are a warzone bc its a slow burn and Luke is being a little shit.
would not want it any other way <3
This fic is a masterpiece and people are hating on the author?! Nah not on my watch. I love this fic and the slow burn to pieces! You better start leaving nice comments to the author or else
Lucerys: Omg, Aemond is death staring at me again. Rhaena, let's talk and pretend I'm not noticing. *awkwardly tries to engage in a conversation with Rhaena*
Aemond, looking at Luke without blinking for 15 minutes straight without moving the slightest: Aegon, eye contact isn't working.
Aegon: Really? He looks intimidated to me.
Aemond: Is it normal to feel intimidated when people try to flirt with you?
Aegon:
Aegon: you're flirting?
Alicent: Aegon, I can't believe you kidnapped and married Lucerys in secret!
Aegon, who've just been slapped in the face: I didn't-
Alicent: I'm sorry, it's just out of habit.
Alicent: Aemond, I can't believe you kidnapped and married Lucerys in secret!

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She saw her moment and got glossed up for it
Thinking thoughts about how Pete said kissing was for people we like only and how he kissed Vegas first
Listen. LISTEN.
Iāve gone on the record saying that I absolutely believe that Vegas has to let Pete go for this story to remain narratively and thematically coherent, and so thatās probably informing my opinion on the issue, but Iām inclined to believe that Vegas left the key on purpose. Just like I theorized he might āaccidentallyā leave another belt lying around where Pete could get to it, making it apparent that Peteās āescapeā was actually Vegas letting him go. But no, this motherfucker always goes me one better than I expect, and he just drops the literal key to the handcuffs on the bed right under Peteās nose while telling him that, btw, there are no guards, and also Vegas, himself, is going to take the hedgehog to the vet, so Pete will be there by himself to get up to whatever he might get up to. Like Vegas isnāt almost just as much a prisoner in that safehouse as Pete - whatās he gonna do, get into his non-existent car that Iām so sure his shitty Dad has made sure heās equipped with so he can go cavorting around whenever he feels like it, and drive himself into town with his little spiky bundle? Vegasās story is bullshit, he isnāt going anywhere except into the backyard to sit vigil over his latest pet as it inevitably dies (because hedgehogs have a lifespan of what? 2-4 years in captivity? and FUCK YOU, Kun, for making sure that Vegas has had his pets DIE every couple of years for how long now?), in a excuse to turn his back on Pete, so that even if when Pete does leave Vegas like everything and everyone else, at least it will be because he runs away, not because he dies in Vegasās cage, like all the pets that Kun actually did allow Vegas to keep.
ANYWAY, Peteās out of his cuffs, about to fly free, just like Porsche in Ep 6, only he canāt stop himself from coming back when he actually gets a look at Vegasās emotional distress,Ā just like Porsche in Ep 6 had to come running back when he heard gunshots and knew Kinn was in danger. This parallel is another thing that makes me believe Vegas left the key on purpose, to let Pete go free. But this also is the beginning of a pattern that weāll see twice already in this ep, of Pete making the choice to be with Vegas. His face journey - as he fights with his own instincts to run versus that drive to radical compassion that heās already displayed when he first threw out a lifeline to Vegas in the previous ep - is something to watch, but the end result is that Pete comes back, walks back into the cage, just like Porsche walked back into the cage of the major family home, because lbr, Porsche was stiil not allowed any way to contact the outside world that wasnāt monitored and was having to lie to Kinn about Yok having major surgery in order to be allowed to leave the premises alone, even after Ep 6. (Kinn and Vegas are mirrors of each other: RECEIPTS.) And weāll see Pete make this choice to be with Vegas again just a little while later, when Vegas pushes and pushes and pushes, but at the last minute takes his hand off of Peteās dick to say āSorry, but Iāmāa need some enthusiastic consent signed in ink, in triplicate,ā and then starts walking out the door. Thereās some really important balance of power stuff going on there, and a key thing thatās happening (a key thing, hah, the thing thatās going to unlock Pete, just like the literal key unlocked those handcuffs) is that Vegas is putting every bit of choice and control in Peteās hands at that point. Iāve seen people wringing their hands about how Pete still has to please his captor (his captor, who apparently would have to throw rocks at him to get him to go away, with no guarantee even that would work), and how he knows he might be in danger from Vegas later, after he escapes, if he doesnāt let Vegas fuck him now, because theyāll continue to run across each other in their work orbits, which, what? I dunno, maybe Pete should fuck every single Very Bad Mafia Man that he might possibly come across in his line of work as a Very Bad Mafia Man, just to guarantee that what? That theyāre too fucked out to be able to take aim at him with their literal guns at some later date? That they understand that ass is just too good to be wasted by putting it in a coffin?
ANYWAY, almost from the very beginning, Vegas told us that he didnāt like to force anyone, and as with everything heās said in the past to manipulate, two truths and a lie - or maybe two lies and a truth - and this scene in his bedroom is certainly proof of concept, as he hands Pete back his blueballs and every scrap of his autonomy and says, āYeah, youāre going to have to actually make the choice to hand all that back to me if you want this to go any further.ā Which Pete of course does, and Iām sure thereās going to be A LOT of electronic ink spilled on my blog about what follows, but Iām only on, like, my 32nd time watching THAT scene, and itās probably going to be at least the 47th time before Iām ready to sit down and start compiling a list of beautiful little parallels and contrasts, like Peteās āwhat are you doing?ā when Vegas pulls that shirt closed over his chest to pull him forward by it, compared to his āwhat are you doingā when Vegas finally starts touching him, bare hand to bare skin, in the opening sequence of Ep 11, or the way he pushes up into that final kiss vs. his response to the pill in Ep 11. BUT AS I WAS SAYING BEFORE I DISTRACTED MYSELF ā¦
What was I ⦠Oh, so, itās looking more and more like Vegas is going to have to throw rocks at Pete to get him to go away, and yet we know theyāre separated from each other, somehow, at some point in the next couple of episodes, with Pete back with the main family, looking miserable at the bar and caressing his own wrists in sad contemplation, if the WDYS MV is anything to go by. So WHY?
Speculation: Iām assuming that eventually someoneās going to wonder why Pete isnāt back from āvacation.ā The slightest bit of investigation is going to lead straight to Vegas and the minor family. I donāt know if that is what has Kun all exercised about the major family wanting his head in the preview for Ep 13, but they want his head for something, and if itās not already because they want Pete back, all it would take would be Kun finding out that Vegas has Pete chained up at Torture Sex Dungeon South, and he could very well see Pete as the perfect peace offering, could he not? Return the major familyās head bodyguard, who his fuckup of a son stole, all nicely wrapped and on a silver platter? And what is Vegas or Pete supposed to say about that? I suspect the single most dangerous thing either of them could do is let Kun know how important Peteās becoming become to Vegas.
Anyway, just a thought.
honesty looks good on him.
kinnporsche | episode 12
#just listen to tankhun 2k22

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HELLO FANFIC AUTHORS ITāS TIME FOR A VOCAB LESSON
wanton:Ā sexually immodest or promiscuous
wonton:Ā a type of dumpling commonly found in Chinese cuisines
YOUR CHARACTERS SHOULD NOT BE MOANING LIKE A CHINESE DUMPLING OKAY THANK YOU AND GOOD NIGHT
either way, things are sure gonna get
steamy
GET OUT
mw after watching episodw 9 of Kinnporsche