Chalk Revelations

experiencing consequences for legitimately bad behavior often feels absolutely terrible. even worse than being punished for something you didn't do, in my experience! if you allow your emotions to dictate whether you think you have been mistreated, you're going to treat the people YOU mistreat like they have harmed you unforgivably.

it's an empathetic injury, that's why it's *so* fast, so severe, and the "reasoning" can change so much even when the same story is told again; it's not pre-planned, there's no mastermind string-pulling or whatever, it's "Ah fuck, why do I feel so bad, it can't be my fault, so I need to explain why it is your fault".

I wish I could tell past me this. It would have shattered a lot of the illusions of control built into my environment if I had been able to see how many of the lies were just made up on the literal spot and that the people telling them were not expecting their actions to have consequences.

the biggest thing I've learned about people who get into abusive and manipulative behavior patterns is that something can be absolutely terrible and indefensible and also, at its core, DEEPLY pathetic.

we don't want to see people who do that kind of harm as pathetic because there's this feeling that that somehow excuses their behavior. it doesn't. a lot of the time its behavior that they saw Work for people with power over them when they were children, and now they think it's the only behavior that Works when interacting with people over whom they have power. because it connects back to early developmental learning re: interpersonal interactions, this also often explains why people approach these situations like they're the victim -- it's a child headspace, it's a path that was originally trodden during childhood, and childhood is a state defined by a lack of autonomy. which I think also acts as a way to insulate people from the need to consider other people's experiences and feelings -- when you're a kid it's absolutely vital to defensively hyperrocus on your own experience because nobody else will do that for you. no one does that for children, generally. and so, many people learn that prioritizing their feelings = dismissing other people's. anyway I'm rambling now and none of this is like. I don't have citations for it, lol, but this is the best way I have found to conceptualize these dynamics in Learning terms. because I truly do think that so many things in life are about Learning, and how we are initially taught that the world works.

BORVO Bormanus, Bormo, Bormanicus, Borbanus, Boruoboendua, Vabusoa, Labbonus or Borus

Thought to be one of the earliest Celtic gods. The Breton god of minerals, and healing. Closely associated with bubbling hot springs.

project hail mary + space

instead they just say “thats normal” or “oh theres nothing wrong with you”. Because in their mind “it wont kill you and i cant fix it” means its not worth mentioning.

But then I went to collect the link on duckduckgo since I don't have my bookmarks at work, and oh god, there's actually thousands of these essays, and even studies now.

So uh. I'll synthesize a bit here:

Doctors need to stop doing this, yes. But for that to happen, med school has to stop punishing this with public humiliations, residency has to stop punishing this with extra shifts, and employers have to stop firing doctors who admit this for "malpractice liability."

The individual doctors sending their patients home ignorant and afraid are the last leg in a long chain, basically.

EDIT:

Here's some further reading by request. Enjoy!

Study: Doctors have PTSD at rates second only to war zone survivors and soldiers.

Study: Medical training traumatizes more than half of doctors.

Essay: The way medical schools are set up today causes excessive trauma and filters out marginalized doctors thereby.

Our world map today looks completely different from how it looked a thousand years ago. Nations and empires have risen and collapsed. Wars have been waged over petty bullshit that changed names and borders. Empires that were once thought invincible and perpetual crumbled to dust within a peasant's lifetime as they tilled their fields and worried about crop failure. The invention of flight, motion pictures, and the automobile chased the coattails of WWI and the great depression. Children played mischief games and elders complained about kids these days being too soft and sensitive during the fall of the Roman empire.

World War II was uniquely terrible and we know it ended in 1945 and was followed by an era of huge economic growth in the west.

I think it's important to keep perspective on this not only to make some plans for your own life, but because there is purpose in engaging with politics and the small footprint you can leave on your community right now.

Yes it's worth it to pressure your local government to move in the right direction for important issues, yes it's worth it to come together with local non-profits, friends or neighbors to tackle an issue close to your heart. That is how change happens.

Other names: Borvo, Bormo, Bormanus, Bormanicus. He gives His name to the Bormida river in Italy and to the Bormio city (also in Italy).

Meaning of His name: maybe His name share the same roots with the Indo European words that mean "boil". So perhaps His name means "the one who warms the waters", or "the one who boil".

Éléments : He is strongly connected to the waters and the idea of the curative rivers. Many inscriptions with His name was found near rivers around all the Europe. He is a God associated to the healing process, but also (maybe) with pestilence. In fact, Gaulish people call Him also for battles, and in some regions of the continental Gaul He was associated to Mars.

For His healing role, I suppose that He is a God of Life and of Its sacred flow. He is a God of purifications, of phisical and psychological strength.

Maybe, for His role of protector of the rivers, He is also a guardian of the Threshold. Rivers revest a magical meaning in the Celtic lore, as a natural line which devided the mortal world with the spirit world, the Other Side.

Sacred animals: unknown. He can maybe be linked to the bull/cattle (He is the consort of Damona, the Celtic Cow Goddess) or the snake, animal strictly connected with the waters.

Sacred plant: uncertain.

Symbols: waters, rivers, wells, springs, fruits, sometimes moneys, helmets and shields.

Maybe cauldrons/cups, for His name: hot waters and boiling waters was used for healing people.

Realm: Bitu, Dubnos.

We don't have so many representations of Him, but we have found His name in many inscriptions near springs and rivers. We know that He was linked to Damona, a Goddess of fertility, agricolture and healing, so we can imagine that He may share some roles with Her.

We don't really know how He can appear "physically", but He can take with Him a cest of fruits, which represent abondance.

Interpretatio Romana: Apollo, Mars

Called for: healing for yourself or your loved ones, protection from illness, purification, prosperity; maybe called in battle.

Offerings: Gaulish people used to leave to the waters items (as weapons or money) as an offering. Actually I do the same thing, giving to the waters little coins. I also give flowers or food or beverage. Be careful that what you donate to water is not polluting.

Other links:

https://faireroseswitchygarden.wordpress.com/2018/11/18/211/