Hey.

it’s not a true internet fight without the word “sweetie”

never seen anything more accurate

There will be three tasks, spaced throughout the school year, and they will test the champions in many different ways.. their magical prowess - their daring -their powers of deduction - and, of course, their ability to cope with danger.

fun-size candy bars aren’t fun after you’ve eaten 37 of them

all you girls out there had that stage where you played online dress up games dont even lie

what do you mean had

what do you mean girls

I need to be a professional woman who wears expensive lingerie under designer clothes

I would sit in a parking lot with you at 2am

I don’t mean to interrupt people I just randomly remember things and get really excited I’m sorry

putting milk in the bowl first is divorce worthy

who the fuck doesn’t wet their tooth brush before putting toothpaste on what the fuck

who the fuck does

i the fuck do

what the fuck man

fuck you

This is how civil wars are started

*looks for historical inconsistencies in a book about wizards*

If you ever jump into my arms when you see me because you’re that excited there is a 95% chance I will fall in love with you

There’s also a 95% chance I will fall in general tho so careful

HE’S SLEEPING WITH AN EAGLE

it makes me really uncomfortable that 12am comes before 11am

let’s file this under things that I was not fully aware of until a text post happened