You can't spell cool without coo

Dr. Dre is now a billionaire, and I'm at least 95% sure he's not even a real doctor

if you're asking me to choose between our relationship and my career as a reporter well then I've got some news for you

“Open Mike Night” sounded like a lot of fun until I realised I’d been invited to an autopsy

Sometimes I end texts with just "and" to create cliffhangers and leave them wanting more and

Me: haha can’t wait to go to bed I can get some quiet non-studying time to think about who I’d group with in a zombie apocalypse and where I’d go Me in bed: *freaking out about zombie apocalypse too scared to fall aleep*

Dad: why are you making vomit noises? Me: remembering something i said last year Dad: ah... continue

i am the dognapper your parents warned you about