if you're having trouble sleeping the best you can do is put a bright object close to your face and look at it for at least 30 minutes. if that doesn't work you can close your eyes but make sure to think really hard about a bunch of bullshit

big fan of that trope where like. something really awful happens to Character or someone they love and they manage to catch the bastard who did it and get revenge. and it's righteous at first and everyones on their side but it slowly devolves into abject cruelty as everyone looks on in horror. dude that's enough he's stopped twitching etc etc

If i was a cop i would be drinking in my cruiser all day. #protectandswerve

[the most low energy you have ever seen me] we’re about to go crazy mode

the Relationship Ambiguity Zone™️ is a beautiful place to be. safe place to put your characters. put all characters into Relationship Ambiguity Zone. is that guy your mentor or your dad? Ambiguous!!! are you friends or enemies? Ambiguous!!! is it romantic? is it platonic? is it sexual? Ambiguous!!!!!!! never categorize anything ever in the Relationship Ambiguity Zone. just make them fucking weird about each other.

You can lie when you name things

Coins AND a friend? He should be grateful

"Cutes" is an autological word

It's literally cutes...

Reblog to cast heal on prev

forever thinking about that girl at my uni orientation who, after being told to pour out her water bottle before entering an event, looked at me and said "they tell us to stay hydrated and then make us pour out our water, this is like totally kafkaesque" and then poured out what was very obviously an entire water bottle full of whiskey. hope she's doing well.

can the skinnyfat homie rockin the cargo shorts hit it just this one time