Pantless Thundergoose.

faeries are not real but i wish thwy were so i could spray one with raid

harry houdini to his wife after a long exhausting dinner with arthur conan doyle

I'm so glad that that truncated fucking ran-into-a-wall-at-speed tadpole-ass looking squirrel only lives in high altitude forests in Borneo bc this means I am extremely unlikely to encounter one in my day to day life. thank god

DID YOU MAKE THIS BLOG SIMPLY TO TORMENT ME

WHERE IS THE REST OF YOU

Whats wrong, you barely touched your pellets

I need a mix of wet and dry food.

What the fuck. You talk?

Woman murders man in broad daylight

The existence of a safeword also implies the existence of a dangerword that you can use to instantly turn any sexual event into a combat encounter

#it exists and it's 'feel how cold my hands are'

So we're all gonna let the new Harry Potter show die on the vine, right? No hatewatching. No thinkpieces. No videos about how bad it is. Deprive it of oxygen and let it wither away unremarked-upon and unprofitable; make HBO lose their entire investment and prove to the corporate entertainment sphere that the entire IP is poison. And spend that time doing something that brings you joy instead.

Ouughh big stretc- *my spine completely shatters*

my partner and i have become fixated on this stupid comment left by a conspiracy theorist on instagram and we can't stop saying it and i just know i'm gonna slip up and say it to a normal person

I tried to look up how where to get quality clown noses like that and they were fifty dollars.

that's because the one i have is hand-sculpted and created by an artisan that sells to professional clowns. i take clowning seriously.

"don't assign human morality to non human things" is so true except when it comes to printers. they know what they are, they understand dilemmas and ethics and morality. they choose to be how they are, they choose to be evil, at their very core they are rotten