female husband

Gerda Lerner (1920-2013) , former Robinson Edwards Professor Emerita of History at the University of Wisconsin-Madison.

I asked my female friends what being a woman felt like, and nobody could answer me - they didn’t know either.

Then I took it to Google and found the “answer” to what the coveted feeling of Woman™️ was. The answer came from various TIMs.

The feeling of woman was playing with Barbies as a child and enjoying it, playing with easy bake ovens, or loving how a dress feels. Woman is how you feel after you are plowed by a rough male and you feel coyly submissive. Woman is the ecstacy of wearing high heels or painting your entire face or doing your nails.

most of them were like “everyone told me I should become a nurse or a pediatrician” and “people assume that I don’t know what I’m doing” you know, your average sexist bs

one of the women’s last name was starboard (yeah I know great name) and she was talking about how even though now she was one of the most accomplished surgeons at the hospital, the male scrub techs (read: guys who didn’t go to fucking medical school) and some of the male doctors call her starbitch in the OR because they (scrub techs mostly, strangely enough) try to suggest different ways to care for the patient and she always tells them no you didn’t go to med school and I did and so they would go out of their way to get the male doctors to treat the patient differently and then she would have to argue with him to prove what she was doing es right but sometimes the male doctor would come and take over the case anyway and this went on for a while

but then the hospital statistics changed bc this woman was literally being prevented from treating her patients bc the men were interfering and so the administrative head heard about this (she was female) and she was like y’all better stop or y’all better start looking for new jobs and then starboard was allowed to work on her patients and got the scrub techs replaced and all of the sudden, the patients were suddenly doing much better during and after surgery.

when she told this story she was like “people still call me a bitch, and maybe I am because I won’t let them walk all over me, but when you’ve got something to do, when you’ve got a life to save, you have to ignore their bullshit so that you can save someone’s fuckin life. Sexism should never stop you from accomplishing that”

Full disclosure; I am a white lesbian and this is coming from a place of privilege in that regard, but this is coming from me seeing a disturbing, but small, pattern of lesbians choosing to align themselves with the right, and I’m using Arielle as a “base”, similar to Gabe from How to Radicalize a Normie by Noncompete from BreadTube. While NC and I have a great divide in some of our politics I find his social analysis using Gabe to be useful and will be using Arielle as an example. Also please keep in mind that when I’m talking about the right I don’t only mean republicans since some are siding with transgenderism, I’m also referring to incels and the like. I think a lot of this is dependent on internet culture.

Here’s a link to the video: https://youtu.be/P55t6eryY3g

While I know Scarcella is a real person, I think my point still stands as she was what I would think to be the average normie lesbian. And I have the unique perspective of being an old fan of hers, starting back when I was 15 and starting to accept that I love women. I looked up “lesbian” in the search bar on youtube, and her channel was one of the first that popped up.

When I first found Arielle’s channel, she was an average beachy lesbian who liked to party and had the normal dating problems we all have. She made silly videos about being a lesbian as well as dating and life advice to younger lesbians and educational videos on sex and vaginal health. She would collab with straight and bi women as well as gay men, and seemed to be an overall friendly woman who was staunch in her morals.

After the Trans movement started to pick up steam, Arielle did her best to reach out to them too, featuring many trans men and women and letting them talk about their experiences and struggles. But, when trans children came on and the cotton ceiling came out, you can see her pulling away and looking uncomfortable in her videos, and she tried to have other trans women come on to defend homosexuals. She criticized the trans community and the way they defined gender in the smallest of ways possible and she received nothing but hate and vitriol. She did a video with Jaclynn Glenn where they about their confusion and disagreement with non-binary identities specifically and got cancelled. Glenn, the straight girl, just needed to apologize and say she would learn better to get back into the trans’ good graces, but Arielle was still hated despite continuous self flagellation and many many many videos on transgenderism, to the point where it nearly suffocated her lesbian and woman centered content. But still, that wasn’t enough.

They continued to beat her down and repeatedly tell her she was not good enough, that she was evil for being homosexual. The same thing she was told all of her life for being gay. And this is very important.

As lesbians we understand just how pervasive and poisonous lesbophobia is. We all know that deep well of self hatred, loneliness, and grief. In HTRAN, NC brings up the concept of hidden radicalization, where the recruiters will hide in geek/fandom/online forums and make the vulnerable people there trust them. They lead with that and then slowly leak their influence until the recruitee falls in line with the radicalization. They purposely go after the lonely, the weak and the vulnerable. Those who feel useless and unwanted. It’s very similar to what cults do. And, as NC said in his video, when you feel that worthless and unlovable, the notion that you have inherent worth solely based on being white, the recruitee will tend to cling on to that notion as their only redeeming factor. So it becomes their personality.

I believe this is what happened to Arielle and what is happening to lesbians who are choosing to side with the right. The lesbian community is in shambles, and the lgbt community has done nothing but use as a punching bag, and now we can’t even not like dick or just state what a woman is. And, speaking from my own perspective, it’s fucking exhausting. Everyone all around you, constantly telling you you’re unwanted, terrible, and wrong and the world seems like it’s lost it’s mind. It’s isolating and cold and scary. And I think the right have picked up on our plight, I’ve had some try to convince me that they’re not homophobic! Only to learn they call me a dyke behind my back, or they’ll agree with the reality of womanhood being biological and want to protect women’s only spaces and try to use that to convince me that the left is rotten and all leftist politics are bad and that transgenderism and things like it is just the inevitable result. They’ve seen how broken our community is and they’re trying to exploit it.

You don’t just go from a left leaning normie to a right wing trump loving bootlicker. It happens because of hopeless, exploitation and white privilege.

I’m not sure what the solution is but this is becoming more and more of a problem everyday. I’ve seen lesbians talking about it on discord, in YouTube comments and I’ve seen it on the older lesbians in my hometown that I get glimpses of.

This is not to excuse these lesbians and the bile they spew, but to explain and start a conversation about this and hopefully, find a solution. We must build a strong community once again, call out the racists and bigots and protect the vulnerable.

What does it mean for transition to be “viable longterm”? Viable for whom? For the people transitioning?

I know plenty of trans people who are content in their lives and choices; transition is viable for many people. To me, there’s no question about it. There are trans people living happy trans lives; it’s not debatable to me when I see and talk to those people on a regular basis (even if from a distance, since I’ve dropped out of the various scenes I used to be in). When they say that transitioning helped them and is important to them, I believe them, even if it’s hard for me to believe as someone who was harmed by transitioning, and even when they don’t believe me in return. As a result, I imagine that yes, transition would be a thing in an “ideal future”, whatever that is. Imagining a vague and contextless “ideal future” means nothing; if I were building a magical perfect world from scratch, there would be more pressing, systemic issues to focus on. Instead, I prefer to imagine how the current world, and the people currently living on it, would be best served over time. Imagining the trans people I actually know, living a happy and fulfilling life in the future as trans people, is straightforward and meaningful to me. Transitioning as a phenomenon is here to stay, part of reality, a possible path, part of the human experience for better or worse; it’s up to the collective to allow it to be better.

My experiences as a detransitioner and all-around man-hating dyke do not negate any of that. Instead, I’m on the flip side of the coin that remains controversial to admit and address: transition isn’t viable for everyone, it’s possible to get in really deep and realize that you aren’t content, and it’s possible to be seriously harmed by medical transition, by the communities you were a part of, and by the misogynistic & homophobic rhetoric, stereotypes, & political ideologies you were subject to in some of those spaces. There is a lot to criticize, because things can and should be better. Detransition is still an elephant in the room that people try to discredit as a “myth” because they feel threatened by it, because addressing it means changing the status quo in some way... and, more and more, because right-wingers latch onto it to beat all of us over the head, when we all need to be working together. The Right has caught the Left with its pants down, and instead of pulling ‘em up (because that would mean acknowledging it), they’re going full Emperor’s New Clothes on reality. “Why, no, my pants aren’t around my ankles. I can’t imagine why you’d dare suggest such a thing! That’s not even possible, for I am wearing a belt...”

There are people for whom transition is viable, and people for whom it’s not. People who were uplifted by transitioning, and people who were harmed and traumatized by transitioning. I’ve personally met many of each. There are large swaths of people in both of the above groups who have had damaging community & healthcare experiences. This needs to be fixed, and I don’t think it will happen if the collective focus is on preventing either group of people from existing, or on only serving one of the two groups and assuming the other will benefit from the same things by default. None of us are broken or crazy, and I believe in our ability to coexist, learn from one another, and make things better for everyone, although it’s looking increasingly fraught.

Right now, on all sides, the kindest sentiment tends to be, “some of those people are maybe real (and they deserve nothing more than pity), but it’s largely a fake psy-op cult and they’re out to get us”. Efforts made at bridging the rift get swept away in the flood of people using us and engaging in bad faith. Changing the overarching attitude could possibly turn the tide for the better, but I don’t know if any party will extend the courtesy that allows for change.

She thinks a woman's place is in the home, but she can work a job because her family needs more money and she cannot be expected to just stay at home all day alone with her children.

She calls abortion a moral stain, but the abortion she had when she was young was the right choice because she wasn't ready for a baby.

She thinks the abused/battered/raped woman somehow asked for her trauma, but her own trauma was the act of an evil man, not the inaction of a woman.