Manda Shrinks

Hello, everyone. It’s been a long time since I’ve posted here and I figured I would get back into the swing of things by explaining where I have been and what’s been going on in my life. 

If you followed me before, you know that I have had many issues throughout my life involving weight, bullying, and my mental health (severe anxiety and depression). I had conquered my anxiety and depression and was on the right path to getting my physical health on track. Unfortunately, I had a pretty bad fall while hiking and it set me back quite a bit. Both physically and mentally. 

I had my accident in the summer of 2015 and since then I have had two spinal surgeries and could possibly need a third. I am trying very hard to avoid a third. Before my surgery, I was able to walk with assistance, but I had lost the feeling in my right leg due to nerve damage. I still have some nerve damage which causes my leg to go numb occasionally and I still have some problems with bending and lifting, but overall, I am doing much better as far as that goes.

Because of this accident, I regressed on everything. I gained literally every pound back that I had lost. Gaining the weight back caused me to spiral back into a deep depression and I started having panic attacks again when having to speak to anyone that wasn’t immediate family. 

Instead of turning more to an online community when I started having these problems, I hid away from it all. I stopped logging on tumblr or posting on facebook/instagram/snapchat. Instead, I became the person that scrolled through everyone else’s lives and watched myself get even more depressed over the things I couldn’t or wouldn’t let myself have. And now here I am trying to change that...again.