all engineers are brothers (found attached to a steamship's engine):
1. 'The Squeak' apparently is originating from the Low Pressure (LP) valve. This is a large "D" slide valve with a lot of metal to metal contact. 2. We have inspected the valve, seat and LP cylinder and piston numerous times. We can find no evidence of rubbing, galling, burnishing, or any other sign of metal to metal contact. 3. 'The Squeak' is dependent on engine speed and temperature; as the engine heats up 'The Squeak' increases. Inexplicably, as the speed increases the sound decreases. 4. Suggestions about using WD-40 or needing sewing machine oil are not helpful. 5. If you wish to discuss 'The Squeak' with the Chief Engineer please donate $1 to The Squeak Abatement Fund to aid in construction of a new LP valve. If too many passengers speak with the Chief regarding 'The Squeak', the donation may be diverted to the Chief's beer fund.
