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If NO ONE except your own groups members can criticize your groups policies, you’re not in a group. You’re in a cult.

Louis in New York City. (15 September 2022)

The idea that misogyny comes from socialization is circular logic. Misogyny comes from misogynistic laws and religions? Who made the laws? Who made the religions? How is it possible that women were  socialized to be subservient to men in so many cultures, even ones that had no previous contact with each other?

However, the idea that misogyny comes from men’s nature is also flawed. Yes, men’s hatred of women is extremely common, as previously established, yet it is not completely universal. There have been matriarchal societies. And in our day-to-day interactions with men, we do notice differences between men based on how they were raised and their respective day-to-day environments.

So what is the root of misogyny, if it’s not men’s socialization or men’s nature? 

I think a more useful way of understanding misogyny (and honestly all forms of oppression) is not to focus on socialization or nature but on ability.

Men have a unique ability to harm women in a way that women cannot harm men. Men can impregnate women. Women cannot impregnate men. On top of having this unique ability, men also have major incentives for doing it: by impregnating a woman, they receive pleasure and a lineage. Unlike women, they also run such a small biological risk for producing a child. After having their orgasm, nothing else is biologically required from them. At worst, they might get an STD.

You might argue that some men are gay or do not want children. That’s all very much true. However, I am not arguing that men have a natural impulse to use their ability. I am simply stating that they have the ability. It is also important to understand that men exist as a class, as well as individuals. While individual men might not even have the ability to impregnate (due to infertility), we can hopefully understand that men as a class have this ability.

If it helps, we can think of this unique ability like a gun. Half of the population is born with a gun (ability to impregnate)  and a bullet-proof vest (inability to be impregnated); the other half is born with neither. The ones born with the gun and the bullet-proof vest  are not necessarily born with a natural impulse to fire the gun–but they are nonetheless born with one.

Even if a man never hurts someone with the gun, I want you to imagine how his psyche is formed just by virtue of having it. Imagine walking into a room with a gun and a bullet-proof vest, and no one else in the room has either. Even if you would never use the gun…just having one gives you a sense of protection, and perhaps a sense of superiority and power. Even if you would never use your tacit threat, you nonetheless have a tacit threat. And now imagine the psyche of those without the gun or the vest. They are vulnerable, and know that they are vulnerable, to the ones who do have one. And so their options are to either appease those with guns and vests, always tip-toeing around them–or to band together.

Nice try, but words I don’t say don’t go in my mouth

Posting on Tumblr isn’t outing yourself unless there’s tracing, face reveals, site reveals and whatnot. Nice try though. It’s easy to maintain anonymity

Feminism has made it blatantly obvious that men are neither needed or wanted. I don’t protect anyone, only fight in favor for what I feel needs to be fought for

Assuming that you’re not one of them, who are you to tell people how they FEEL?

Your opinions are soaked in bias, and you’re an outsider. Your opinion isn’t invalid, just nowhere near as reliable as that of an actual sex worker

Anyways let’s see what some women in the sex industry have to say:

Oh and here’s Rachel Moran a survivor of the sex industry talking about why you shouldn’t use the term “sex worker” because it groups pimps, who oppress prostitutes, in to the same category as prostitutes. The term “sex worker” was created by pimps so they could control the narrative of the sex industry.

Men do not have the right to ignore a woman asking for a woman provider instead of him, same for men who want a male provider instead of female. 

I've loaned this book out to so many girls that there's a fingerprint on the cover page. It's passed through so many hands... spent nights in so many homes...

I've watched it be quietly slipped into backpacks with a little chuckle and a furtive look around, like it was an illegal substance or something. Or something! They always hand it back the next morning looking shell-shocked. Yeah, I feel you. We share little laughs to diffuse the tension- a constant. Responses vary when I ask them what they thought. I always feel the need to give a little disclaimer, to assuage their shock:

"I mean, obviously I don't agree with everything in there. You know me. But isn't it a little bit like watching a fashion show? The ideas are presented in their purest, least diluted form, and bystanders take what they want. I mean, it's electric. Electric! Yeah?"

Yeah. Goddamn, it really is. (And honestly, there's really no need for all the secrecy. It's not like we'd face serious consequences if caught with it. But if there's one thing you learn as a feminist in 2022: some ideas are contraband. It's an atmosphere, I dunno.)