At one point I had a housemate who had been through multiple abusive or at least unhealthy relationships, and it effected the way they interacted with the world and others around them.
One of the effects was that they couldn't admit to mistakes or accidents. They would lie when they could, and they'd try to cover it up when they could.
One day, they broke one of my glass dishes in the kitchen. I wasn't at home at the time, so they cleaned up in a hurry and then hurriedly scrambled to glue it back together. They never said anything to me, and I wouldn't have ever noticed-
Except I walk barefoot in my home and two steps into the kitchen I had a small shard of glass in my foot. Looking for a source, I noticed the dish in the drain, and looked a lot more closely at it than I normally would have, and noticed a small piece missing from where they had glued two larger pieces together.
It took me a good twenty minutes to fish that glass out of my foot. I then went and vacuumed very throughly, as two dogs and a cat lived in that house, along with the humans.
If they hadn't been stuck in the patterns they learned when they were younger, they might have told me about the glass, and I could have worn shoes until it was safe. They might have spent longer cleaning it up and making sure the floor was safe, instead of trying to cover up their mistake by gluing the dish back together.
If they could have broken out of those patterns, they would not have put those around them in harm's way.
Break out of your unhealthy patterns. They're hurting you, and they're hurting the people around you. If someone over reacts to something like a broken bowl, the answer is to remove them from your life, not to go around gluing bowls back together without saying anything.
2087
germansingergirl
gracieabrams
prguitarman
theartofmadeline
