✨bullshit that has ACTUALLY happened somewhere in the Pokémon franchise✨
-a teenaged boy runs away from home because of his abusive mom only to join a crime gang funded by his abusive mom.
-the player character is given a smartphone by and with direct contact to God.
-a man cosplaying God (the same God you got a phone from) attacks you with a demon banished to another dimension.
-a suicide cult led by an evil snowflake kills like one hundred other protagonists.
-there is an entire elemental typing consisting of abused and evil Pokémon that is super effective against everything else.
-the player falls into an alternate world and one of their friends is immediately arrested for playing sports.
-in the thrilling sequel, a bunch of ghosts kidnap children in their amusement park in the Shadow Realm.
-now that I think about it there are like three different games where the player character starts by falling from the sky.
-the protagonist of the TV adaptation has died like seven times, been crucified in Paris, watched several apocalypses, and has watched SO many people die in front of him, and I don’t think he’s brought it up like, ever.
-in one game, you can go on a crusade to brutally conquer the entire continent.
-the player of one game is part of a time loop caused by a magic turtle that indirectly kills one of their friend’s mother. Or father. Depends on the version.
-the player’s adoptive father is possessed by the personification of hate and sends them directly to Hell, then tries to do it again when they get out.
-the mafia’s plan for getting their boss back after he left is to violently hijack a radio station and ask really nicely.
-a space agency’s plan for stopping a meteor form colliding with the earth is to open a wormhole to another dimension. this plan is stopped by a woman in a torn cape who destroys their equipment and robs them.
-the protagonist’s father had a godlike clone fuse his consciousness with a mouse, and fights a man who fused his own consciousness with an alien.
-the one a cult leader chose to be king of his new religion is an abused autistic boy with green hair and wearing a baseball cap.
-you literally rob people’s Pokémon in one game and you’re still the good guy. …is there a gender neutral version of “good guy?”
And now for a BONUS ROUND!
✨shit that has gone down in the Pokémon manga adaptation alone!✨
-terrorists blow up an ENTIRE port city!
-one protagonist spent two years trapped in a Dream Realm™.
-you think that’s bad? TWO protagonists are trapped in the depths of space for like six months!
-you think THAT’S bad?! FIVE protagonists are turned into stone for an indefinite time period!
-a little orphan girl is hypnotized and trapped in a suit of armor.
-they crucify the gym leaders???
-one boy is whipped in the face with a chain used to subjugate the Gods Of Time And Space and he’s literally fine.
-a father punches his son in the face and hurls him down a staircase. The American translation censors this as a lightning strike.
-this same son fell into the ocean because of an earthquake like five chapters after he was introduced.
-one of the current protagonists is basically Wednesday Addams.
-two protagonists were kidnapped by birds and raised by a supervillain.
-two villains try to destroy the environment of an entire country, cause an apocalypse, and are stopped by being trapped in a flying car which crashes.
-a mysterious supervillain saves them— SOMEHOW— and makes them fight to the death for a suit of armor. The one that survives causes the apocalypse AGAIN but dies.
-they both get brought back from Hell to save the world, and after that’s over, they turn to dust and go back to Hell.
-the supervillain who saved them the first time also summons like ten gods and dips out, never to be seen again.
In other words Pokémon is weird (affectionate).
baratheonpilled
prguitarman
turnnoffyourmind
theartofmadeline
blakekathryn
areudirty
yousharknotpass
