Random Ramblings

Let's start by listing the suspects and examining why I don't believe they are the intel ,The Suspects: Nanahara, Kamiya, Amou, and Kageyama

Nanahara: The Obvious Choice? I know many fans think Nanahara is the intel, but I don't believe it. Though he always reported some information about Yakuza stuff and what happened with Yashiro in general, but he never shared sensitive information about Yashiro's life, such as his condition or the fact that he met with Doumeki again, except for Sugimoto (I had some doubts about Sugimoto because he doesn’t like Doumeki, but I dropped them due to lack of evidence. If anyone has evidence about him, please share it so we can catch him).

Also Nanahara found out about Doumeki still being in the Yakuza world in Chapter 40, while Misumi discovers this in Chapter 58. Would Nanahara, as the intel, have hidden something that important from Misumi? Additionally, Nanahara always protected Yashiro and Doumeki. He hid Yashiro's injury so Doumeki wouldn't feel guilty about it, and when Doumeki was about to go catch the Yakuza, Nanahara immediately stopped him so he wouldn't get hurt. Nanahara also trusted Doumeki with Yashiro when Doumeki took Yashiro away from that perv detective. Nanahara was relieved when Doumeki did this. Some people may think Nanahara hates Doumeki, but actually, Nanahara saw how much Yashiro suffered to forget Doumeki. that's why you see him so protective of Yashiro when it comes to Doumeki. Therefore, I just can't believe that he is the intel, it's just not possible. He has one of the most good hearted personas in this manga, and for his personality to change suddenly, it would be silly at this point.

Amou: Unlikely Candidate I don't think Amou is the intel, simply because he is the one who helped Doumeki get back into the Yakuza world behind Misumi's back. Secondly, even Amou wondered how the heck Misumi gets his information from! Like when Amou was receiving a call and Misumi knew it was from Tsunakawa. We can clearly see Amou's troubled face; he was annoyed and confused.

Kamiya: A Tough Suspect Kamiya is a tough suspect because if Misumi knows what the other group is about, he must have an intel inside the Enemy's home, right? But here's the trick: Kamiya worked with Doumeki for so many years now, but he never told Misumi about him! Okay, let's assume he didn't know about Doumeki's relationship with Misumi and was assigned just to tell Misumi information about the Sakura group. That would add a question, just how many spies does Misumi have?!

Kageyama: A Questionable Choice And why would someone even consider Kageyama as an intel? I think because Misumi started to have more knowledge about Doumeki when Yashiro took Doumeki to Kage's clinic. Before Misumi had no idea about what Yashiro and Doumeki were up to until Tsunakawa told him in Chapter 58, so I know from where and why people started doubting Kageyama.

Now it’s time for my own Suspects

let's just get crazy! Firstly, let's welcome my first suspect, the one we missed:

Ryuuzaki! Yes, he's released from prison and guess what, he's working with Misumi, and we missed that info! In Chapter 43, we see Misumi talking to someone (Yoneda-kou didn't show his face but showed his hand). And if you noticed, Ryuuzaki always wears his special ring, except when he was in prison because it's not allowed to wear jewelry there. But I don't know why the author didn't show his face and made it secret, and what kind of work Ryuuzaki does for Misumi? Did he get assigned to watch Yashiro? Or he gave him some other important tasks to do, and why all this secrecy?

My second suspect, and it's so crazy that I'm even saying it, but I just have to get it out of my thoughts, is Kuga. I know it sounds crazy, but hear me out first. I have my reasons to doubt him.

Let's first analyze Chapter 58. It's the chapter where Misumi knew about Doumeki, and it's the same chapter where we see Kuga again after four years. Kuga says "Hi Nanahara, long time no see," which means he didn't see Nanahara and Yashiro for a long time. Kageyama said "Are you already finished with work?" which means he doesn't usually return at this hour. He mentioned that he changed his work, and I wonder what kind of work he's doing now.

But what makes me doubt Kuga is when he suddenly asked, "What's Doumeki up to nowadays?" The atmosphere shifts, and Nanahara asks "What with that question all of a sudden?" And he's right! Why did Kuga suddenly ask them that? He knows that Yashiro kicked Doumeki out, so he knew that Yashiro is not involved with Doumeki anymore. So why did he even ask Yashiro such a question? How did he know that Yashiro met Doumeki again or even know about him to ask him that? He should have asked instead, "Did you know that Doumeki is working as a yakuza again?" instead of "What's Doumeki up to nowadays?".

It's funny to me because Kuga said "Well, I have a friend who works at a club in Shibuya. They told me last week about a yakuza guy who was looking for someone. My friend said the guy's name was Doumeki. I thought there's no way." Why was Kageyama shocked about Doumeki? If Kuga knew this a week ago, didn't Kuga tell Kageyama? And why didn't he if that was true?

Secondly, the fact that Kuga said his friend mentioned a guy named Doumeki is suspicious. Like, really, why would your friend tell you that? If your friend encounters a yakuza guy, he would say "There's some scary yakuza searching for a guy," he would not mention the name or even remember it unless Kuga was searching for Doumeki and told his friends about him. But that's unlikely because why didn't he just call Doumeki? We learned that Doumeki didn't change his phone number, so why didn't Kuga call him for those past four years? If we assume that he didn't have Doumeki's number, and he wanted to contact him, he could have simply asked Nanahara for his number.

Kuga was questioning Yashiro a lot, which is not like him. He usually doesn't like speaking with Yashiro unless his relationship with Yashiro changed in those past years, but I don't think so because Yashiro didn't like the conversation and excused himself and left. It's just the whole conversation and act was weird if you ask me.

And let's not forget that on Chapter 63, when Misumi said, "I heard it was Doumeki who protected you, and Yashiro thought, 'Even though you didn't know he was there...', that means Misumi discovered about Doumeki protecting Yashiro after the incident. And who are the people who knew about it? Aside from the Sakura group and Nanahara, it was Kageyama, and he must have shared what happened with Kuga.

After reading Chapter 58 I thought about this exchange between Yashiro and Kage for a bit:

At first sight this might suggest that Yashiro actually considers staying in the Yakuza. I think based on what we know and how this statement is framed though, I come to the conclusion that this suggests the exact opposite in fact; Yashiro’s reluctance to stay in the Yakuza shines through yet again.

Granted, in the above scene Yashiro does in fact say that he doesn’t really want to quit BUT what he said before that stood out to me. Confronted by Kage about how he’s still affiliated with the Yakuza he first diverts his question by saying „don’t say things as if you’re an ordinary person“; I think this points out that Yashiro doesn’t like to think of himself as that different from Kage (or „civilian“ people in general, probably), he’s sorta putting the two of them onto the same level… outwardly he appears to lower Kage’s „status“ as a law-abiding citizen to his own, but, objectively speaking they both know that Kage is not in fact a shady person (at least from what I can tell, after all, he doesn’t appear to be affiliated with any „shady“ people apart from Yashiro and Kage always complains about Yashiro dragging him into these affairs). So, what this ends up doing is lifting Yashiro’s status up (I hope I’m phrasing this in a way that makes sense). Anyway, I think what this conveys is that Yashiro still looks down on Yakuza members (he’s definitely not proud of being one) and that he’s still not fully comfortable with people viewing him as a member or even acknowledging his Yakuza-status himself. He then goes on to say that it’s not easy to leave. Now, this could suggest a) that it has been on his mind (which we already know to be true) and b) that he feels the need to justify the fact that he’s still affiliated with them. Only when Kage questions him again Yashiro finally says that he doesn’t REALLY want to leave. His way of phrasing it doesn’t sound super convincing and he probably says that to get Kageyama off his case and also because, if he is honest with himself, he still can’t see himself actually taking that step after all. I know I might be reading too much into this but it stood out to me that Yashiro didn’t just throw Kage a snarky comment like „why the hell wouldn’t I still be a member?“, in the same vein as his first comment „what kind of upstanding guy runs a shady illegal casino?“ Instead he is somewhat opening up to Kage in his own way.

Anyway, this conversation is yet another puzzle piece that plays into the theory I’ve had from the beginning, that Yashiro will leave the Yakuza eventually. From all we know so far, Yashiro has never really come to terms with being a Yakuza and has generally a very negative opinion of them. The topic of Yashiro struggling to accept this role and the re-occurring questioning of what makes a Yakuza, who’s a good Yakuza, who’s not fit to be one, etc. strongly suggests to me that this is an integral part of this story as a whole and is most probably gonna be relevant to the conclusion of the story. It’s made clear that Yashiro never wanted to be Yakuza in the first place and he’s still reluctant, like… some 20 long years later 😯. I don't want to include too many quotes here because there are far too many instances that could be mentioned and this post is already getting too loooong, as you'll see 🫣, but there are some I'd like to mention. First I'd like to point to one quote from Yashiro that leads me to believe that to him being a Yakuza is not in fact his real identity but rather a role he is playing. He says to Ryuuzaki in Chapter 5:

He sees himself more as an actor rather than a real Yakuza and interestingly enough, that’s what he had aspired to become as a teenager: (aspire might be too strong of a word here but I think in a way he really did):

Now, I know that I'm arguing that Yashiro is talking about himself here ,even though, he's not just referring to himself in his comment to Ryuuzaki but the fact that he talks about Yakuza being just like actors in general and then further generalizing his statement to „people spend their lives acting“ still plays nicely into Yashiro's perception of his own life which will become relevant in a bit *bear with me*; it suggests that he thinks that people are not really free to be themselves because they have to play their role which emphasizes his passive approach to life in general „I have lived my life accepting it all“ (I reference this quote further down).

Every time Misumi tries to drag him in deeper, Yashiro is acting completely reluctant. We first saw this in the very beginning of the story when Misumi and Yashiro talk about the succession and Misumi says to Yashiro „be mine once more“ (Yashiro doesn’t want to give him an answer), when we learn through Hirata’s secret recordings about the details of another conversation between Misumi and Yashiro in Chapter 14 (Yashiro still doesn’t give a straight answer) and we see it again in Chapter 36 when Misumi basically says to Yashiro „don’t forget what you are“ after the time-skip (Yashiro distracts Misumi from the conversation by provoking him). He doesn't agree to anything but he never outright refuses either (he's completely passive).

His reluctance is further demonstrated by the fact that after the time-skip Yashiro’s not really a full member anymore. He used what happened after Hirata’s attack on him to the best of his abilities in a way to distance himself from the group but he couldn’t take the last step. But this clearly points to Yashiro wanting to get out for good.

I think it’s noteworthy that the only time he completely rejects the idea of quitting (as far as I remember), is in Chapter 27 when he speaks to Ryuuzaki in the back of the police car:

This stands out to me because he says this after he’d made up his mind that he was gonna die. So why keep fighting it at this point? (I’m so glad our cute boy is not in such a dark place anymore 😭)

Yashiro has also tried to keep Doumeki out of this world because he cares so much about him. Unfortunately, he wasn’t successful but the statement Yashiro made about the Yakuza in Chapter 22 becomes relevant again, now that Doumeki got a back tattoo (which as we all know made Yashiro furious beyond belief). Yashiro said something along the lines of „do you have any idea how many upright citizens walk around out there with full body tattoos? And how many Yakuza wear normal business suits?“( I hope this translation is somewhat accurate . I had to take it from the official German translation which is not the most exact at times but the only English translation I could find, didn’t seem to be correct 😅) Basically he’s saying, it’s never too late to quit. This was some unfortunate foreshadowing if you ask me but it gives me hope that Doumeki’s status as a full-fledged member and him getting a tattoo won’t prevent them from leaving the Yakuza world behind.

I just cannot imagine Yoneda-sensei making this aspect such an integral part of Yashiro’s character and bringing this topic up again and again if it isn’t gonna be relevant in the end… I know it might be a red herring but I really doubt it at this point. I read the manga as a story of a traumatized survivor of SA finding happiness in life (yes, I’m very hopeful that both Doumeki and Yashiro are gonna make it out alive because anything else would be too cruel🫣). For Yashiro the Yakuza is a hindrance to his freedom and happiness because it’s not who he truly is as a person and as long as he stays he’s going to be under Misumi’s control and Misumi is gonna try to use him, just like his stepfather and all the other men who SAed him when he was a teenager used him. In a way he’s still this powerless child getting used by others. He was an easy target for Misumi because Yashiro was „completely indifferent about himself“ as Misumi put it. This indifference stems from the abuse he suffered. When Yashiro got shot he remembered the SA and he says: „I have lived my life accepting it all. I’ve felt no sorrow. I’ve blamed no one. My life can’t be said to be anyone else’s fault.“ This expresses exactly what Misumi saw in Yashiro: He’s so broken that he doesn't even feel anger, he is beyond caring about himself, his well-being, his future. Putting it differently; he doesn’t love himself and he doesn’t think that he deserves love or a different, better life. This is why he doesn’t really put up a fight against this fate. He’s still passively accepting everything.

To sum this up, it’s mainly his trauma that prevents him from quitting, just like it keeps him from being able to accept Doumeki’s love. Since I believe this story is about Yashiro overcoming his trauma and finding happiness, I think it would only be fitting that once he’ll be able to accept that he is deserving of love, hope and happiness, he’d finally find the courage to take control of his own fate and break away from the path that he felt forced to follow.

And yes, I'm aware that quitting won't be that easy because of Misumi's obsession over Yashiro BUT even though I don't like Misumi too much and I think he's a creep, he's in his own way quite lenient when it comes to Yashiro, I have to give him that. So, I have high hopes that he actually meant what he said about "caring about Yashiro as a person" and will let him leave without too much trouble.

Of course we don’t know much about Doumeki’s plans for his future but if Yashiro and him end up together (which is what I’m hoping for) he’ll most likely go along with Yashiro’s wishes, I guess 😉 And I know, sweet Nanahara would be disappointed but I bet Yashiro and Doumeki would still find a way to adopt their big baby boy into their little family 😜

maybe they’re gonna open up a beach bar in Hawai’i and Nanahara would flirt with the guests and give away all the drinks for free 🤣

On a more serious note, I hope I didn’t get any of the quotes completely wrong. Nuances tend to get lost in translation so it’s kinda "risky" to base a theory like this solely on translations but most of it comes down to my personal interpretation of the story anyways. And I’m sorry if most of this seemed too obvious but I got the impression that I seem to feel more strongly about the fact that Yashiro might gonna leave his days as a Yakuza behind than others in the fandom and I felt the need to present my case 😉

As we know, the rain scenes in saezuru always point to something important and sometimes even a turning point. They always make the fandom reflect on the feelings and thoughts of the characters. And I noticed one thing:

When Doumeki returns to Yashiro in chapter 58, he stands completely wet, as if he was caught in a heavy downpour. The frame is located under the inscription " EVEN THOUGH HE'S BUSY

ON A MANHUNT». But it also suggests the idea: he comes back every time, even despite what is happening in Yashiro's soul. Despite their misunderstandings and unresolved problems. Despite what happened in the past. He's coming back anyway. He will walk through this rain and knock on the door.

Thank you. I'm done 🥹

Translated via google, sorry if the text has moved out

Day 1: (ch 42)they reunite and Yashiro seems upset with Doumeki for being in the yakuza. Yashiro and Nanahara get invited back to Tsunakawa’s place where they are slighlty interrogated and get invited to stay the night. Tsunakawa is the one who brings up change asking Yashiro if people change or if people can change. (Ch 43) Yashiro is taking a bath while Doumeki stands “guard” and they have an almost wistful convo. It then gets ruined by Inami and they exchange regretful, petty words from both sides. Doumeki tells Yashiro if he hasn’t changed, can he do it with Doumeki? (Ch 44) Yashiro is rightfully offended and they get heated which ultimately ends with Doumeki grabbing Yashiro and holding him by the waist and hair doing an almost kiss.

After being interrupted, they part ways. Yashiro then tries to masturbate while thinking of Doumeki.

Day 2: (ch 44) Doumeki also spends the night at Tsunakawa’s house. Yashiro and Doumeki reunite in the morning and Doumeki apologizes for Kamiya’s behavior. Yashiro thought he was apologizing for what he did the night prior but Doumeki claims he had nothing to apologize for. (Ch 45) the stakeout for Kido happens. Nanahara and Yashiro have a discussion about how Doumeki ended up with sakura. Nanahara says Doumeki is not fit to be a yakuza and asks Yashiro if that is why he got rid of him to which Yashiro then asks what kind of person is fit to be a yakuza. Nanahara then asks Yashiro about having his own group and tells Yashiro he has decided to follow him. Yashiro tells him to get married and have a kid but their convo gets interrupted by Kamiya letting them know both he and Doumeki can hear them. They capture Kido and interrogate him. Doumeki offers to drive Yashiro home. Yashiro tells him he didn’t have to offer to which Doumeki retorts that he didn’t have to accept. Doumeki uses this opportunity to warn Yashiro of the danger but Yashiro seems to have expected more. They have this convo:

Doumeki catches up with Yashiro and asks him what he wants. Yashiro replies he doesn’t want anything. Yashiro is upset because he thinks he is the only one… and Inami interrupts. Yashiro tries to run to Inami and Doumeki drags him away. It really speaks on how self destructive Yashiro can be that when he feels Doumeki is distant or rejecting him, he runs to a man that raped him. Inami is the only other man, besides his stepfather, who he acknowledges that about. It is kind of important to remember when we see Yashiro pursue sex with others. (Ch 46) Doumeki drags Yashiro inside and Yashiro keeps rejecting Doumeki. Yashiro struggles with his keys which is the first indication something is wrong with him to Doumeki. Doumeki tries to initiate a sexual encounter which Yashiro is resisting to. Doumeki tells Yashiro the fact that he hasn’t changed irritates him. Yashiro has his first orgasm in 4 years and Doumeki continues to finger him. This moment was dub con and Yashiro seemed resigned Doumeki was going to have sex with him. It was a low point for Doumeki in my opinion. Doumeki gives him an ultimatum: no sex with others while being involved in the investigation. Yashiro goes to meet with Inami while Doumeki goes to meet with Izumi. Doumeki catches Yashiro after his meet up with Inami. Yashiro tells him he doesn’t consent to Doumeki’s ultimatum. Doumeki physically drags him to meet Muraji who tells him he needs a bodyguard. After what Yashiro told him, Doumeki volunteers Kamiya. He then meets up with Kamiya and Yashiro to give Kamiya a gun. He asks Yashiro about what he knew and tells him he is no match for Yashiro resulting in this reaction:

Yashiro asks him why he volunteered Kamiya and Doumeki tells him he has Inami. Yashiro tries to tell him something about Inami but stops. (Ch 49) Yashiro waits for Doumeki to go up to his apartment. Yashiro laughs at Doumeki and tells him he hasn’t changed in that aspect. Doumeki also tells Yashiro he hasn’t changed. Doumeki carries Yashiro to bed. (Ch 50) Doumeki assumes Yashiro picked him for sex and proceeds to funger Yashiro. Another dub con encounter.

Day 4: Nanahara catches Doumeki at Yashiro’s apartment. They involve themselves with where Doumeki is going. They meet up with Kamiya at Izumi’s club. Yashiro is jealous from the start since she calls Doumeki by his name. Nanahara tells Yashiro that Doumeki might be dating her. Kamiya and Doumeki discuss Doumeki’s gentle treatment of Izumi which upsets Yashiro to the point where he excuses himself and goes to look for Kido. Doumeki catches Yashiro giving Kido a blowjob. Doumeki asks him if he would be happy if he violated Yashiro. (Ch 51) Doumeki drags Yashiro to his apartment. It seems like this will be another dub con encounter but Yashiro starts to touch Doumeki back when Doumeki starts being more gentle. He discovers Doumeki’s tattoo which enrages him and he proceeds to beat Doumeki. Doumeki takes the hits and eventually stops him. He kisses him and Yashiro reciprocates passionately. (Ch 52) they have consensual sex but Yashiro wanted it more gentle and Doumeki is still angry. Yashiro passes out and wakes up to Doumeki in the shower. Yashiro is upset that Doumeki was rough and thinks that Doumeki is more gentle to women. They go to meet with Nanahara. I don’t think this is the next day since Nanahara is trying to track down Yashiro after he disappeared. (Ch 53) Doumeki watches Yashiro sleep and thinks of Muraji’s warning. He answer Yashiro’s cell and asks Nanahara if something is wrong with Yashiro. Nanahara tells him to stay in his place. Yashiro’s hair is down and Doumeki tells him not to let others see him in that way. They stakeout the building and Doumeki tries to go in by himself. Yashiro calls Inami who tells him they need to meet for the info which is disrupted by Doumeki. Doumeki makes plans to meet with Inami.

Night 4 into day 5:(Ch 55) Doumeki goes to tell Yashiro that he is out of the investigation. Yashiro comments it is the middle of the night. He seemingly leaves after breaking the news. (Ch 56) he confronts Yashiro about his impotency. Yashiro confesses in a round about way. They start getting passionate. (Ch 57) they have sex. Yashiro has a strong reaction when Doumeki causes him to flashback to volume 5. Doumeki lets him know he’ll be back and Yashiro asks “for sex?”

Unlike popular belief, he really isn't that good with hiding his emotions, there's always a crack,that's why I'm surprised that kageyama never saw through to yashiro, with doumeki it's worse for him because of the history they've shared and him knowing that doumeki once loved him.

You don't know what you had till you no longer have it, that's the case for yashiro, how that doumeki is back in his life and they are now sex partners it has way more strain on him because the time they've spent apart made him realize he doesn't want to lose him again, so he's trying to hide those feelings by bottling them up and pretending like it's just sex but I don't think he'll be able to go on much longer, I think all doumeki just needs to do right now is too probably make him jealous with that madam and all hell will break loose.

What do you think? Am I reaching or is it possible?

As an autistic woman (with ADHD) myself, I find it really hard to tell whether Doumeki is autistic or not. There are clear signs that are typical for autism, but also many signs missing. That doesn’t have to mean that he’s not autistic, since many low support level autistic people are capable of masking, but I’ll try an analysis here based on what we can see in the manga.

The DSM-V divides the symptoms of Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD) in 2 main clusters: a social-communicative cluster (A) and a behavioral cluster (B).

Cluster A: Persistent deficits in social communication and social interaction

The first cluster (A) is the easiest to discuss. It consists of 3 criteria, that all need to be fulfilled for an ASD diagnosis:

1. Deficits in social-emotional reciprocity, ranging, for example, from abnormal social approach and failure of normal back-and-forth conversation; to reduced sharing of interests, emotions, or affect; to failure to initiate or respond to social interactions.

Doumeki easily fulfills this first criterium: people often complain that he’s saying so little (especially after the time-skip), lacking in communication. Furthermore, he only rarely shares his emotions or thoughts, unless Yashiro pushes or manipulates him to do so. Of course, within the Yakuza world this could be interpreted as a conscious choice to not trust his co-workers, but as far as we can see Doumeki shares just as little info with his sister and mom as with his co-workers. So far, I’ve only noticed more extended conversations of Doumeki with Yashiro and on occasion with Nanahara (talking about Yashiro). Finally, attempts at conversations by other people often fall flat due to Doumeki’s short responses.

2. Deficits in nonverbal communicative behaviors used for social interaction, ranging, for example, from poorly integrated verbal and nonverbal communication; to abnormalities in eye contact and body language or deficits in understanding and use of gestures; to a total lack of facial expressions and nonverbal communication.

For criterium 2, Doumeki clearly shows a lack of facial expressions. Even when he’s in great turmoil, it’s only rarely visible on his face. In Yashiro’s case this is a skill and a deliberate poker face, but in Doumeki’s case this seems to be a lack of expression rather than a deliberate choice. For example, in the flashback to Doumeki’s kendo practice he thought that he was a child that had a hard time expressing his emotions. In the Yakuza world this lack of facial expression is a great advantage and in the current stage of the storyline this helps him not to spook Yashiro too much, but it might become an obstacle in the future if (hopefully when) Yashiro is ready to hear Doumeki’s true feelings.

What’s also apparent is that Doumeki’s lack of facial expression causes Yashiro to frequently misjudge Doumeki’s feelings, despite the fact that Yashiro seems to be able to read most people like an open book. For example, before the time skip he regularly thought that Doumeki helping him out with his sexual needs resulted from guilt about not fulfilling his job as bodyguard, rather than true love and desire. Of course Doumeki deliberately chose to hide his feelings, but not many Yakuza seem to be able to actually succeed in hiding things for Yashiro.

3. Deficits in developing, maintaining, and understanding relationships, ranging, for example, from difficulties adjusting behavior to suit various social contexts; to difficulties in sharing imaginative play or in making friends; to absence of interest in peers.

While Doumeki has largely learned to adapt himself to the social rules of the Yakuza world, he was frequently blundering around before the time-skip. He’s called naive, because he’s frequently missing crucial social cues. For example, how could he miss that the company he was going to work for was a Yakuza firm rather than a normal loan firm? Furthermore, it’s a running joke among Yashiro’s group that Doumeki frequently takes sarcasm literally.

The same issues come back in his sexual relationship with Yashiro, but in this case it seems to be an advantage. Doumeki doesn’t seem to have as much pre-conceived notions about sex and homosexuality. For example, for most people Yashiro’s initial question to blow him (at the start of the story) would constitute sexual harassment, but Doumeki doesn’t seem to perceive this as such. Even if he had at that point sexually desired Yashiro he should have felt that this was wrong (an abuse of power by Yashiro), but that was clearly not the case. This even gets Yashiro mad at one point, when he tells Yashiro that it’s not sexual harassment if the other party is willing (while cosplaying in cop uniform).

Furthermore, while his exclamation that the boss is “kind, strong and beautiful” (chapter 6) at Kageyama’s hospital may be perceived as courageous, it’s also possible that he truly didn’t realize what Kuga and the others found strange about Yashiro (as in not picking up the social cue that homosexuality is frowned upon, or not caring about that social cue).

What does run counter to this interpretation is that Doumeki seems to have learned a lot and become more cunning after the time skip. For example, he’s even able to goad Kamiya into revealing that he’s spying on Doumeki for Tsunakawa. However, when dealing with Yashiro he’s still breaking tons of social rules (e.g. Yashiro considers the shower incident as sexual harassment as he explained to Kamiya, while Doumeki clearly did not), so I still stand by my judgement that Doumeki is just as out of depth in new social situations after the time skip as before the time skip (fulfilling criterium 3). He has just gotten used to a broader range of social situations within the Yakuza world, including their associated social rules. And even in situations he’s used to he’s often still breaking social rules or not appropriately adapting his behavior to the context, as shown by Kamiya’s repeated expressions of embarrassment about Doumeki’s use of polite language with him.

Taking all of these examples together, in my opinion Doumeki easily fulfills all three criteria of the first cluster (A) of the DSM-V criteria for ASD.

Cluster B: Restricted, repetitive patterns of behavior, interests, or activities

In order to get diagnosed with ASD, only 2 of the 4 criteria of cluster (B) need to be fulfilled. It’s much harder to recognize Doumeki in this cluster of criteria though.

1. Stereotyped or repetitive motor movements, use of objects, or speech (e.g., simple motor stereotypes, lining up toys or flipping objects, echolalia, idiosyncratic phrases).

The most common example of stereotyped or repetitive movements are different forms of stimming, e.g. rocking back and forth, nail biting, fidgeting, … Doumeki is always shown as standing still like a rock, without the slightest show of fidgeting, so I don’t think he fulfills this criterium at all. In theory there might be some echolalia or strange speech patterns, but the fact that his words are written down in the manga makes it hard to pick up the typical tone differences of parroted or cited phrases. Until I find clear proof to the contrary, I will assume that there’s no echolalia or strange speech patterns (in the way implied by this criterium - I will count Doumeki insisting on using unusually polite speech as a social context issue rather than as a strange speech pattern).

2. Insistence on sameness, inflexible adherence to routines, or ritualized patterns of verbal or nonverbal behavior (e.g., extreme distress at small changes, difficulties with transitions, rigid thinking patterns, greeting rituals, need to take same route or eat same food every day).

I don’t think that this symptom is present, since Doumeki doesn’t seem to be phased or stressed by changes in routine or unexpected changes during Yakuza crisis phases. This is further confirmed by the fact that Muraji considers him to be level-headed (as explained by Muraji to Tsunakawa). Only Yashiro seems to be able to push him out of balance, but that can be better explained by love than by autism. Doumeki’s thinking patterns may be a bit more rigid than that of average people (e.g. his insistence on polite speech with Kamiya), but in my opinion not enough to say that he fulfills this criterium.

3. Highly restricted, fixated interests that are abnormal in intensity or focus (e.g., strong attachment to or preoccupation with unusual objects, excessively circumscribed or perseverative interests).

This is the only criterium from cluster (B) that I 100% agree with for Doumeki. While Doumeki certainly loves Yashiro, the intensity and focus is abnormal, to the point where it could be called a hyperfixation on Yashiro. For example, who would insist to such degree to stay in the Yakuza in order to remain in the same world as their love interest, even after they’ve already been shot by them and thrown out?

The only caveat that I need to add to this is that it’s not clear whether Doumeki already had restricted or fixed interests in childhood (maybe Kendo?). Furthermore, even non-autistic people can get extremely fixated on their love interest.

4. Hyper- or hyporeactivity to sensory input or unusual interest in sensory aspects of the environment (e.g. apparent indifference to pain/temperature, adverse response to specific sounds or textures, excessive smelling or touching of objects, visual fascination with lights or movement).

Doumeki doesn’t show signs of sensory hypersensitivities, but he may be hyposensitive to pain. The fact that he says that his finger doesn’t hurt after cutting it off is commonly interpreted as that “it doesn’t hurt when compared to the pain of almost losing Yashiro”, but what if it really didn’t hurt? Similarly, even with a fresh knife wound in his face he doesn’t seem to be bothered by it. In conclusion, it’s a tentative yes for this criterium. However, it’s also possible that he DOES feel pain like a normal person and is just unable to express it, so I can’t 100% confirm whether he fulfills this criterium.

A second sensory example might be Doumeki’s fascination with Yashiro’s hair, because this might be interpreted as sensory seeking behavior. Besides these 2 examples (pain and Yashiro’s hair), there are no other sensory oddities that jump out to me. Doumeki might be less sensitive to cold, because he doesn’t seem to be bothered when loaning his jacket to Yashiro, but there’s not enough info to confirm this interpretation.

In conclusion, Doumeki may fulfill the required minimum of 2 out of these 4 criteria in cluster (B), but that’s with quite a bit of goodwill and I can’t 100% confirm that he does.

General conclusion

In conclusion, I think that Doumeki is at least “autistic-coded”, as he does show evidence of many autistic traits. However, whether he fulfills the full diagnostic criteria of ASD depends on our personal interpretation of whether he fulfills enough of the behavioral criteria in cluster (B). It’s probable that he fulfills the criteria for ASD and that he is autistic, but it’s not possible to confirm this with 100% certainty.

In any case, I do think it would be correct to call Doumeki neurodivergent, as that is just about “thinking differently” and not about fulfilling specific diagnostic criteria.

Personally, I think that Yoneda Kou never intended Doumeki to be autistic, but just as stoic and introverted. If she had intended Doumeki to be autistic, she would probably have written more behavioral symptoms (of cluster B) into his character. Sometimes, autistic characters that were initially not intended to be autistic are the best representations of autism, because those characters tend to be more “complete” with both good and bad sides, rather than just disabled by their autism. Because of that I think that it is okay for people to read Doumeki as autistic, as long as they realize that the autism spectrum is much more diverse than the autistic traits shown by Doumeki.

Raws/Typesetting: Lustfulcat

Cleaning: Robin-Birdly​

Translation: Steve #3

….somehow ended up in yashiro’s sex toy drawer, where he also hid the supremely secret, intimate item of kageyama’s contact case? 

huh, SO WEIRD. and it hasn’t been tampered with at all. almost like it was purposefully kept fresh and unopened, like some kind of sentimental keepsake. I’m sure there’s a super logical explanation for this!! 

In Norwegian du kaste penger i et svart hull (throw money in a black hole)

In Polish wyrzucasz pieniądze w błoto (throw money in a mud)

Chapter 26 came out today, and is quite plot-heavy, so here’s a little summary to shorten the wait for the scanlation. It became quite long actually. XD The direct speech parts aren’t always an accurate translation of the text bubbles, because I shortened things here and there for practical reasons.

Also, full of spoilers obviously!

Ryuuzaki:

The chapter starts with Ryuuzaki getting beaten up by Hirata’s underlings who are trying to find out about Yashiro’s whereabouts. Ryuuzaki tells them he doesn’t know where Yashiro is, and wouldn’t it make more sense to question Sugimoto, since he is a member of their own group, just like Yashiro. The main guy replies: “But if we openly go against our group, we can’t blame you for Yashiro’s death anymore.” Ryuuzaki says that he has no intention to kill Yashiro, so Hirata’s guy threatens him: “Whether you’re gonna live or die is solely up to you.”

Misumi:

The scene changes to Misumi who is visiting the leader of the Doushinkai group (= his boss whose position he’s after) in the hospital. He’s doing better lately, but since he has cancer, he won’t live much longer. They talk like old friends. The boss asks Misumi about Amou: his age, whether he’s married yet. Misumi tells him that Amou is quite popular and sometimes has girlfriends, but there’s no future wife on the horizon. The boss says it’s a shame, since Amou graduated from a proper university and all. He could lead an honest life. Instead he followed Misumi’s path, because he wanted to be accepted as his son. Misumi talks about how Amou didn’t even accept financial help from him, but graduated all on his own with only a scholarship. The boss goes on to ask why Misumi had never tried to have his own family. Was it because of Amou? Misumi says, Amou has nothing to do with it, but being the child of his former wife, he also couldn’t treat him like everyone else. Misumi feels pity for Amou who threw his chances in life away to stay with him. The boss calls Misumi overprotective, but says he can understand why he is that way.

male audiences will happily watch a dozen superhero shows, but then something like Agent Carter or Supergirl turn up and they’re panned from the first trailer and have to struggle for ratings. male audiences will watch countless installments of a franchise as long as it’s about men doing man things but the second a character like Rey or Furiosa or god forbid four entire female Ghostbusters steps up and takes a position of prominence it’s “pandering sjw bullshit”.

this isn’t like… an opinion I’m pulling out of my ass here? this starts where earlier than tv shows and hollywood blockbusters, when all the kids in a class are reading Harry Potter or Percy Jackson or Eragon o Lord of the Rings or Maze Runner or whatever the hip book is right now. the books like that, the ones that become popular reading, are overwhelmingly about male leads, because male is still considered the default. 

there’s a split in YA literature, between books that are “for everyone” and “for girls”, and that’s honestly the entire issue in a tiny little box right there. stories about men are supposed to be accessible for everyone, but stories about girls are seen as 1.) inherently for women and 2.) something that only women will care about.

men grow up in a society that doesn’t make them go out of their way to get into the heads of women and empathize with then. historically it’s been very easy for men to not engage with female-led media if they don’t want to, whereas (like someone else commented on this post) girls and women have had very little choice in the past because everything was about men. we didn’t even question it.

and now the women are arriving in mainstream media in ways that say they’re important and they matter and

small (or sometimes not so small) but loud-enough-to-be-acknowledged groups of men lose. their. shit.

because they think there’s something inherently Not For Them about a woman’s story, and they never learned how to deal with it.

These poor lovebirds break my heart.

I want to see Yashiro’s banged-up car swing into a parking lot with Yashiro white-knuckling the steering wheel. Amou is in the passenger seat looking horrified.

Yashiro says “Did I do well?”

I imagine Doumeki would be the only one unruffled by Yashiro’s vehicular reign of terror and just sit in the front seat, doling out suggestions: “Boss, please turn left here.”

But he’d be wrong. “Oh, this is a one way.”

“It’s fine, no one is coming down here. Yet.” And Yashiro would proceed to gun it, with one hand on the wheel because he is trying to light a cigarette. Nanahara and his yelling in the backseat would be ignored or chastised. “Doumekiiii, get another lighter, this one is done.” “Yes, Boss.” “PLEASE BOSS PLEASE DON’T TURN YOUR HEAD AND NOT LOOK AT THE ROAD–” “Nanahara, shut up, you’re squalling like a child and it’s so annoying whoops was that a side mirror? Well, I have another. Doumeki, roll down my window, I’m driving.”

I was going through some photos online and stumbled onto a picture of a field of wheat . I thought “Wow that reminds me of the cover of Saezuru volume 4” because it always goes back to Saezuru doesn’t it? So I went and looked at the cover of the volume I had on my desk and it got me thinking especially with the knowledge I have now from the chapters since. Sensei has a way with how she handles her stories that I find unlike many other mangakas out there. Sometimes there’s hidden meaning and sometimes there’s not. She really leaves things up for our interpretation. I live out in the country so crops are plentiful everywhere you look. It’s also a small town so I’ve had the pleasure of being able to talk with many old farmers on some of my *cough*day drinking*cough* adventures. I asked “What do you think the symbolism of wheat is?” He went on to say that “Wheat was about redemption and life. You can grow wheat in a barren, empty field that can then benefit so many people in return more then most other crops”. Once I was home I looked into this more. I had this fabulous post by @commandermardukas in mind. Since I, at first glance, went with wheat I stayed that course. Scouring the internet I found that wheat was thought to be the symbol of resurrection and rebirth which tied back to what my old farmer friend had said.

“Wheat is also associated with rebirth and resurrection. This is due to a fairly straightforward aspect of the grain’s nature and is something also shared by other crops; when wheat sprouts from the soil after the barren season and grows into the mass of stalks that will feed the people throughout the year, it’s easy to see the pheromones as the emergence of new life from the throes of death.”

i mean

amazing and unique art style 

spot-on humor

strong, badass female and/or POC characters

awkward but incredibly intelligent lead that isn’t conventionally attractive

COOKIE

history jokes that you won’t catch as a kid

MOTHER

FUCKING

WILHELMINA BERTHA PACKARD

did i mention

BADASS AF FEMALE CHARACTERS

AND MULTIPLE POC CHARACTERS

WHO BREAK STEREOTYPES LEFT AND RIGHT

I am still quite puzzled with the frame on which Yashiro is crying. I am not sure that I completely understand why he is crying.

This frame strongly reminds me of another one - on which Aoi was seen by Doumeki, while his father was raping her.

We didn’t get to see much of Aoi, though her input to the story is not insignificant. I think in some way she resembles Yashiro. They both share a terrible childhood. They both were sexually abused. And they both chose to endure it.

As the story goes, we see, that Aoi never fought back. She decided to endure everything what had been happening to her. She didn’t blame anyone: neither her stepfather, nor Doumeki. Sex itself and all emotions during constant rape stoped meaning anything to her. In other words she became apathic.

But when Doumeki sees her, this self-defence mechanism cracks. “Don’t look at me”. Why not? “Because it is dusgusting. I am embarrassed. I feel so filthy. I hate it, but I am helpless against it. Don’t look, because I don’t want you to see my humiliation.” She can no longer pretend, that all this time sexual abuse meant nothing to her. It broke her. It fucked up her whole life. Something like this is wrong to ignore. Something like this is wrong to endure.

I think somewhere deep inside he knew that this was nothing more than a protective barrier, built to keep him from having to face the reality that he is a victim just like Aoi. That is why he was afraid of having sex with Doumeki and pledged, “Don’t break me”. He knew that sleeping with Doumeki would change him forever. But Doumeki didn’t understand what he was trying to say, and by gently making love to him, he did break Yashiro, or his self-defense mechanism to be precise.

I guess it’s my opinion that in 25 we see Yashiro’s veneer cracked but not yet shattered.