#doumeki

But the question becomes; during hours or after hours?

I'm going to say this and I know it's going to piss some people off, but I really don't care. There's been some dismissive and downright insulting attitudes toward anyone who's dared to express disappointment with the latest chapter of Saezuru, and the worst part about it is, these dismissals in general fail entirely to understand what the criticism is even about. It isn't that anyone thinks Kamiya or Amou's words or actions are out of character or nonsensical, or that anyone is accusing Yoneda of bad writing. I certainly haven't and I haven't seen anyone else do so, either. The disappointment and the unease is coming from the potential for the latest chapter's developments to endorse a message which undercuts the entire dramatic journey of Yashiro's character. Now I'm not saying that's what's going to happen, only that the way the events unfolded in chapter 66 conveys a sense of it being a possibility.

I don't think I'm alone in having expected, after chapter 64, for Yashiro to come to the conclusion, on his own, that Doumeki still loves him, and that in itself being enough to convince him to spurn Misumi's orders, and to ignore the threat of Tsunakawa's retribution to go to Doumeki's side. That would have made plenty of sense with Yashiro's character, given his consistently self-sacrificial nature. Whenever anyone he's cared about in the past has been endangered, Yashiro has never failed to put himself on the line for their sake. So I don't think that was an unreasonable expectation to have. And it would have been the perfect culmination of Yashiro's self-actualization and a powerful statement about the importance of agency and self-determination. Instead, we got Yashiro being guilt-tripped into going to Doumeki's side, being treated by the other characters as if his trauma and reasons for pushing Doumeki away were both secondary to Doumeki's loyalty and, worse still, framed by the narrative as selfish in comparison to Doumeki's devotion. Now, I have no idea if that's what Yoneda is actually intending with the way things played out here, and given what an amazing writer she is, and how incredible this story has been up to this point, I'm going to say I doubt it, and I'm more than willing to wait and see what's actually going to happen before I pass judgement. But I still think it's fair to be unhappy with the turn things took in this chapter, and to be nervous about the potential turn the story might take if, say, there's no actual consequences to Yashiro's agency, once again, being undermined by the other characters in the story. If nothing negative happens as a result of all this, if Yashiro and Doumeki are able to simply ride off into the sunset together and live happily ever after, then the narrative is essentially pushing this idea that Doumeki was right for treating Yashiro the way he has since the start of the time skip, and that would be a serious problem, because Doumeki was never right for treating Yashiro the way he did, and in fact it wouldn't be any sort of exaggeration to call it emotional and mental abuse, and even sexual abuse. With Doumeki's confession at the end of chapter 64, we finally got acknowledgment on his part to that fact. That he's been mistreating Yashiro is a desperate attempt to hold onto him, and I assumed, as did others, that this was the moment when Doumeki finally understood that it's Yashiro, not him, who gets to decide if Doumeki gets to be in his life. It was the narrative highlighting the vital importance of Yashiro getting to make that choice on his own, and underscoring in the process the wrongness of Doumeki's behavior in trying to force himself into Yashiro's life. But now we've got a situation where Doumeki's devotion is possibly being framed as entitling him to Yashiro's love. Again, I'm not saying that's what happening, but it feels like that's what's happening with this latest chapter, and so it understandably upset some people who are particularly invested in Yashiro's journey toward self-realization.

I said this in a reply, but if Yashiro were a woman, people would be viewing the events of this chapter in a decidedly different light, I think. If Yashiro were a woman who had a history of sexual trauma and abuse, and who hadn't been allowed since the age of 19 to live for herself, then Amou's and Kamiya's words and actions would have come across as abusive and manipulative and controlling, all for the sake of a man who, let's face it, has shown stalker-levels of obsession with Yashiro. It would come across as creepy and also as undermining toward Yashiro's well-being and safety. It would be a bunch of men telling a woman that her safety is secondary and unimportant in the face of a man's feelings. Again, as I've repeated multiple times, we can't know how this is going to play out, but if nothing negative results from this, then the story is framing Doumeki's actions as "right" while framing Yashiro's actions as "wrong" and "selfish", and I would absolutely have a problem with that.

Because Yashiro never owed Doumeki his love. Doumeki's loyalty never has and never will entitle him to Yashiro's life. His actions toward Yashiro since the time skip have been manipulative and controlling, and there has to be some sort of price to pay for that. Doumeki shouldn't be rewarded for treating Yashiro like shit and lying to him because he couldn't accept Yashiro's rejection. The other characters telling Yashiro he's a terrible person and that he owes Doumeki his love because Doumeki loves him doesn't change that fact. If the narrative decides to frame Doumeki's actions as right, it won't change the fact that they were objectively wrong.

He touches Doumeki's face.

He closes the distance.

He kisses him first.

That's huge for a person who has spent years running away.

This is the first thing he has initiated with Doumeki since their reunion.

After spending years rationalizing, avoiding, denying, and running, his first genuine act is not verbal.

The cover 😭😭♥️

It says "The past and these feelings keep chasing us" On the cover.

The Saezuru comic account also only posted the cover. Not a new page, and said "Don't miss chapter 66, look forward to it!!"

It's really interesting how Kamiya echoes Yashiro's sentiments here.

Kamiya shared this chapter about his abuse at the hands of his father, heavily implying, too, that his sister died as a result of that same abuse. The parallels with Yashiro are obvious.

Kamiya tells Doumeki that he's lucky because he still has a family to go back to, and Tsunakawa, before this, questioned Doumeki about why he felt he couldn't get a regular job and live a normal life, given the circumstances surrounding his time spent in prison.

All of this mirrors what Yashiro tried to make Doumekie understand and accept before the time skip. None of the people in the Yakuza are as lucky as Doumeki. Yashiro in particular never had anyone growing up. An abusive step father and a mother who couldn't care less about him. He was totally alone, which is how he ended up being vulnerable to men like Misumi. But Doumeki has never been alone. He has a sister who loves him, and a mother who loves him too, despite her failings. I've said this before, but I think it's always particularly rankled Yashiro to see Doumekie essentially spurn the gift of a loving family, and instead decided to voluntarily join the Yakuza. It must be galling, because Yashiro never had a choice, and he probably couldn't understand why anyone would choose this life for themselves if they didn't have to. We see that same confusion in Tsunakawa and Kamiya.

It's just an interesting observation I made, and I wonder how it's going to play out through the rest of the story. I've had this idea in my head for a while that it isn't Yashiro, but Doumeki, who needs to learn a lesson about the importance of appreciating what you have. Thematically, it would make sense for Doumeki to end up being punished by the narrative for abandoning his family in pursuit of Yashiro, and I keep thinking the most dramatic way to drive that punishment home would be for Yashiro to die.

I'm probably totally wrong, lol, but it's just a theory of mine.

Either way, Yashiro is obviously going to go after Doumeki and try to save him. Doumeki's pretty much given up here, and no longer seems to have a will to live. Again, it would kind of make sense for him to watch Yashiro die in order to save his life, to jolt him out of his own, self-imposed misery, and to embrace the gift of a normal life and a loving family. More than anything, I think, that's what Yashiro always wanted for him, and in a way, it would be a way to honor Yashiro, to show the ultimate respect for him, by going back to a normal life.

Anyway, like I said, I'm sure I'm wrong, but something dramatic is definitely going to happen between Yashiro and Doumeki. I can't wait for the next chapter.

Starts with the page of Yashiro in the official preview of him reminiscing about Doumeki's words

Then, while covering his face with one hand, he kicks over the container (bucket) filled with water.

Leaning against the wall, he says: “…You’re way too stupid…!"

---

Scene changes to Tsunakawas place

Doumeki speaks to Tsunakawa

Tsunakawa: “Not going to kneel and apologize like you did four years ago?”

Doumeki: “…I won’t.”

His subordinates force his head down,

Tsunakawa kicks him in the face, and mentions that he knows Doumeki used to stay with Yashiro.

Tsunakawa: “You’ve got guts, showing up here.”

Doumeki: “I’m grateful for being taken in…”

Tsunakawa: “That’s all you’re grateful for?”

Doumeki’s face is pressed into the ground

Tsunakawa begins talking about Doumeki’s past, that he was a former police officer, that he has a younger sister and mother, and that even after prison he could’ve lived as a civilian.

Then he asks: “Why did you become yakuza…?”

This leads to the previewed panel of Doumeki released by the official account

Then, 

Tsunakawa: “What is Yashiro to you?”

Doumeki: “He’s my reason for living.”

Doumeki: “Because he’s someone precious to me, I protected him.” 

Tsunakawa tells him, “Couldn’t you at least hesitate a little?” 

and Ren and the other subordinates beat him badly. (😭😭) 

Tsunakawa: “Go take Kai’s life. Get your affairs in order. You’re a criminal killing another, no telling how many years you’ll eat prison food. And the moment you’re released back into society, you’ll be expelled from the family."

Kamiya is assigned as the witness to oversee it.

---

Scene changes to a hotel room somewhere

Kamiya hands Doumeki a gun

Doumeki thanks him for everything he’s done.

Kamiya: “You can’t say thank you, but you won’t apologize either? Idiot.”

Doumeki: “I won’t apologize for something I don’t truly mean.”

Doumeki says Tsunakawa isn’t the kind of person who wants apologies.

Kamiya responds that he actually valued Doumeki.

Kamiya: “You betrayed us and fell in love with a man, yeah, that’s not something we can accept.”

Doumeki: “I don’t think gender matters when it comes to someone important.”

Kamiya: “You sound annoyingly righteous.

Not like you ever expected to be understood anyway.

If that’s the case, at least don’t drag others into it.”

Doumeki: “…You’re right. That’s true.”

Then Kamiya brings up Doumeki’s younger sister.

Kamiya also had a younger sister, and says he regrets not being able to protect her (from abusive parents).

Kamiya: “Having parents and siblings…must be nice.”

Doumeki: “…That’s not like you, talking about yourself.”

_______________________

Doumeki being beat up is so painful 😭 I knew this would be coming but 😭😭

Also, him being assigned to kill Kai and go to jail 😱😱 though ofc the plot won't be as simple. 

Kamiya had said he wanted to do something big in a previous chapter and here, at the end of this chapter he's suddenly talking about personal things which seems to be out of character as Doumeki says...

Lots of what ifs right there even without including Misumi's assignment for Yashiro involving Kai and Yashiros potential actions after Doumekis words last chapter.