Not posting on Facebook about how I had my first orgasm exactly three weeks post-op. I was asleep, although admittedly frustratingly prodding at my clit before bedtime. In the dream I had just moved, which I'm doing in two months, but it looked like Los Angeles. My neighborhood was terrorized by a girl gang who chased people and hurled cordless landline phones at them. A hysterical cop told us all to hide or play dead so I was lying motionless underneath a jean jacket when one of them came up and grabbed me by the neck. She seemed like she was going to rape me and then I just came on her thigh 🤷‍♀️

Is it bad I'm already planning my next cosmetic surgery when I haven't even flown home yet from this one?

Such fond memories of HyperCard ❤️  I wonder what the stack who turned me into a transsexual is up to right now?

I called a friend I’ve known for a couple years by the wrong name tonight. I’ve never done something like this before. I need to bring it up with the neurologists on Tuesday. Verbal recall is rapidly declining, but just that. I wrote a calculator program in a new dialect of Lisp this week that does symbolic differentiation and polynomial reduction, but can’t remember common proper nouns

me: Wow, I can't believe that hair tie just snapped in half the second time I used it...what a piece of crap...not brand I buy...smh...guy I fucked's wife...

Idk why I’m updating this blog with that. I have a lot of weird complicated shit going on in my life, but my brain is way too fucked up to express it right now

Coming soon to this tumblr: a compilation of the weirdest/scariest Weather Channel iPhone app notifications...