Wildmother be up in here

opening a restaurant called "the seven seas of rye" where the only menu item is "breadie mercury" and its just rye bread

one of us always eat hot chip and the other one always lies

pitch for my new tarot card “The Emoji”

2026 Adam/He-Man has officially stolen my heart and it’s wild that tumblr isn’t talking abt this guy. He’s a loser. He infodumps about his home planet on a first date and gets dumped immediately. He works in HR. He can’t drive. He gets mesmerized by his own abs. He’s convinced he can talk things out with the bad guys despite this never working once the entire film. He goes to the gym in a pink kitten sweater that says “alpha male.” He’s been arrested. He sneaks away to transform into he-man as if it’s a secret but literally everyone knows. He brought his earth roommate to eternia to prove he wasn’t crazy. He even killed Jared Leto. What a guy.

got a crick in my neck and a frog in my throat and a chip on my shoulder and a stick up my ass and now you're gonna stand there puttin words in my mouth? haven't I been through enough?

I have GOT to stop spending $30

ive invented (note: dubious claim) something i call the bear diet which is mostly fruits and vegetables with fish as the main protein source and something like once a month you eat a few hyperprocessed foods of your liking because that is when you, the bear, raid a dumpster in the suburbs

after the hyperprocessed foods, do you take tranquilizers to simulate getting captured by animal control and returned to the wild?

i would settle for melatonin gummies but well. knock yourself out

"You snooze you lose" anti nap propaganda, changing it to "you snooze yaaaaayyyyyy yippeeeee"

gay walmart: unexpected item in fagging area or whatever. Fuck it just reblog this shit