h

can I get a job as an editor but the only thing I do is correct when someone uses the word "prone" when they mean "supine"

sorry for being annoying [remembers that practicing gratitude instead of shame is better for my mental health and my relationships] thank you for letting me be annoying with you

ever since i was a little girl i knew i wanted to put no effort into my appearance

i just got summoned for yuri duty

Everything I read about recovering from burnout is like “it takes months or even years to fully recover” and it’s like okay…. I have a weekend before I gotta clock in on Monday

i love writing out numbers and then putting them in parentheses like "one (1)" even when i dont need to i think its funny

being a kid and hearing adults say stuff like "woah 2011 was 4 years ago haha" didn't really convey the fucking horror of a youtube video crossing my recommended labelled "9 years ago" and it's from 2017. that's not true. 9 years ago is 2010 or something. don't lie.

Piston cup!

man of few words i see!

ok we can do petplay but Only if I’m the fly. If that’s ok… rubs my hands together … zzzzzz…. Hope I don’t get swatted…. Zzzzzzzzz

died at the window sill

canaries were used in coalmines due to their incredibly hard beaks, they could break through stone as well as any pickaxe

I'm gonna say something controversial and I'm trusting everyone to be measured and calm in their response. I understand if I get flack for this but if my audience is as mature as I believe them to be then this should be fine.

I'm addicted to fat puffy nipples

I'm so fucking irritated at you for that five minute gap. I checked your blog four times for this

Had to work up the courage. It's hard being so brave.

I hate calling in sick I don't want to inform anyone about my abnormal bowel movements

I love it. I call them up and say hey bossman I'm camped out on the shitter today yeehaw

you are so beautiful in every way

We will get married on a windswept cliff and the dinner will be easily digestible