find what you'd die for & then live for it

[1] spent like 4 hours scrolling available jobs. well. lack thereof bc our economy is fucked & our government wants to end every public service it can get its hands on & i'm looking in social work. applied for one (1) job, the only job i could possibly apply for, a job i'm Still not qualified for bc i don't speak enough swedish. so i wrote a stupid fucking application like "i have spoken swedish in the past and am motivated to take courses to get to an acceptable level!!!!! i cannot use the language rn but i will try n get better!!!!!!!" Clown Shit someone is gonna read that and laugh and then (metaphorically, digitally) shred my application and resume

[2] did my second theory module for driving school and was sweating the whole time bc even the idea of driving makes me super nervous. idk if i will ever be able to learn buttttttt i have to try bc no one is gonna hire me if i can't drive :/

[3] learned that my mom has thrown away all my childhood/teenhood belongings without asking me if that's okay, telling me about it, or requesting i go through the stuff and see what i want to keep. i'm talking like 200 books, 400 movies, tv show box sets i paid a shitton of money for when i got them, etc. a series of books from the 60s or 70s that used to belong to my mom and that i loved as a child as well. she tried to gaslight me into thinking i had given her permission to do that but i Had Not. i'm extremely confident i had not but she still tried to make me feel unreasonable and stupid and forgetful when i got upset. this whole thing got brought up when i wanted to go pick up my high school swedish books from her house so that i could try to learn the language again. the textbooks are fucking gone and so is Literally Everything, every piece of my childhood