the intense weirdo table

i dont even know where the bit ends and i begin

washing dishes is evil because you go "oh fuck there's so many dishes this is gonna take foreverrr" and then you enter the dish abyss and emerge with your abdomen somehow covered in water and your hands all wrinky and then you look at the clock and what felt like half an hour was actually 10 minutes

come over and form a strange connection wth me

notice how everyones 30 now

(with unconstrained lust and heart shaped pupils) hey. I liked your wordplay.

sofas are not for sitting on idiot. you fool. you worm. they're for piling Items (Things, Objects, Miscellania) on and beholding it with sadness and saying 'i wish i could sit down'

bus is my friend. shes no train but shes trying her hardest in a world that hates her

cant believe we’ll never know who ended homophobia because he was anon

official linguistics post

my least favorite literary smut turn of phrase is when a guy is like “im gonna ruin this pussy” “im gonna wreck this pussy for anyone else” like stop.. thats not yours…!

i need to get off tumblr i’m at the aquarium admiring the fish and my brain goes “posts that make you want to get in the water” what are you talking about. these are live fish in the room with you. what post.

i am soooooooooo good at being snuggled n cozy in bed like soooooooo good

i am soooooooooo good at being snuggled n cozy in bed like soooooooo good