local tricksy sphinxbeast

The request is so urgent my boss needs it by the end of the work week. Which, y'know, is 5 PM on a Friday. So I have four hours to do it.

It's a forwarded request. Somebody contacted a member of the donation team asking for help, "I need a map from the Vietnam War to use for a presentation." It's somebody she's trying to coax into giving a five figure donation to the museum.

The request was asked to the donation team member, who then emailed my boss, who then emailed and called me urgently.

This map required:

North and South Vietnam in it

All four areas that South Vietnam was divided into for military purposes ('Corps') clearly delineated

Four cities, all of them horrifically misspelled, and only identifiable because I know what battle the requester is asking about (it’s in III Corps on the border with Cambodia) (the requester danced around the battle but I’m knowledgeable enough to identify it)

Has Laos and Cambodia in it

Has the Ho Chi Minh Trail in it

So. I was mad about the 'you have literally four hours to find a map with a lot of requirements.'

I was then mad at myself about finding a copyright free map from Texas Tech University within half an hour, proving her right for asking me to do it.

Then, after I found a map that perfectly met the requirements, I was equally amazed, baffled, and horrified when I read further into the forwarded email chain.

The donation team team member they were speaking to used AI to generate a map.

The above put half of North Vietnam in South Vietnam, made the Ho Chi Minh Trail a country, made 60% of Cambodia part of South Vietnam, put the DMZ extremely high up in North Vietnam, completely disconnected the southern tip of Vietnam, misplaced all of the Corps zones, etc etc

At the very last second the donation team member had a moment of divine clarity, remembering there's three historians on payroll to ask for this kind of thing from. So she contacted my boss while saying, "I had fun with this, but I decided I should check for accuracy before I send it to the donor! I need a fact check by the end of the day, then I send it"

My boss, while not the most knowledgeable on the Vietnam War, does know her geography. She took one look, and knew it was so off she called me to tell me how urgent it is that I look at the email and respond

Demi Lovato / Symere "Lil Uzi Vert" Woods / Stephanie "Jimquisition" Sterling

Demi Lovato identifies as nonbinary and pansexual and uses they/she pronouns; they are a singer, songwriter, and actress. Lil Uzi Vert identifies as gender non-conforming and uses they/them pronouns; they are a rapper, singer, and songwriter. Stephanie Sterling identifies as transfem, pansexual, and non-monogamous and uses she/them pronouns; she is a Youtuber and game journalist.

Christopher "Bob the Drag Queen" Caldwell / Jack Haven / Samira Ramírez

Bob the Drag Queen identifies as nonbinary, pansexual, and polyamorous and uses he/him and she/her pronouns; he is a drag queen, comedian, and activist. Jack Haven identifies as nonbinary and queer and uses they/them pronouns; they are an actor. Samira Ramirez identifies as nonbinary and uses they/them pronouns; they are an actor.

Jane Schoenburn / Alex Newell / Alok Vaid-Menon

Jane Schoenburn identifies as transfeminine and nonbinary and uses they/them pronouns; they are a director. Alex Newell identifies as gender non-conforming and gay and uses all pronouns; they are an actor. Alok Vaid-Menon identifies as nonbinary and transfeminine and uses they/them pronouns; they are a writer and performance artist.

Leo Baker / AJ Hikes / Suzy Eddie Izzard

Leo Baker identifies as transgender and nonbinary and uses he/him and they/them pronouns; he is a professional skateboarder. AJ Hikes identifies as queer and nonbinary and uses they/them pronouns; they are a social justice advocate and is the Deputy Executive Director of Strategy and Culture at the ACLU. Suzy Eddie Izzard identifies as genderfluid and prefers she/her pronouns; she is a comedian, actor, and activist.

Chella Man / Jiavani Linayao / F1NN5TER

Chella Man identifies as nonbinary, genderqueer, and pansexual and uses they/them pronouns; they are an actor, model, and artist. Jiavani Linayao identifies as queer and uses she/him pronouns; he is an improviser, drag king, rapper, and actor. F1NN5TER identifies as genderfluid and bisexual and uses he/she pronouns with a preference for he/him; he is a Twitch streamer, Youtuber, and OnlyFans model.

@creatingblackcharacters is hosting another CBC Book Club, starting on 06/14/2026. We'll be reading "Medical Apartheid - The Dark History of Medical Experimentation on Black Americans from Colonial Times to the Present." I would recommend it.

I'm putting my previous thoughts on this thread below:

today's gregor samsa is: getting misted in the produce aisle

You telling me these gelt aint crunchy

i feel like the problem with this question is best illustrated by a conversation i had with a friend a while back, where i said something like, "i feel very safe with you because you don't do subtle hints and you are always very straight-up with me about what you are thinking and feeling."

The mirror replied "To whom?"

"The miller who made the flour for my bread," the queen would say, or "Whoever spun the thread my shawl was made of".

The second time, she says "To the King," and she is pleased to see herself once more.

The third time, she says "To the Royal Advisor," and is once more satisfied to see herself.

The fourth time, she says "To the scribe who takes the King's letters." She is shown the man's wife. And she seethes, but quiets herself, for it is only right that a man loves his wife.

The fifth time, she says "To the Court Wizard," and is shown the man's departed mother as he remembers her from his youth, radiant and smiling and warm and larger than life.

The tenth time, she says "To the Stable Master," and is shown the fastest horse in the stable, majestic and free as the wind even in captivity

"To the baker," she is shown the man's daughter, young and adorable and full of joy and laughter.

"To the artist who did my portrait," she is shown a painting of a woman done by the man's teacher, who he still looks up to now that he is well established himself.

"To the Royal Knight," she is surprised but not displeased to see the castle's entire guard force in the middle of doing drills.

The one hundredth time she asks the mirror, and it asks her "to whom?" she once again says, "To me." And she does the same the one hundred and second, and again and again and again.