Quiet Obsessions

i think i’d be able to take on jasper in a fight because the sheer intensity of my anxiety would be enough to nuke him on sight and render him motionless

It’s so funny thinking about how rosalie was ‘meant’ for edward like carlisle hoped she’d be his mate but she hardcore rejected his pretty boy scrawny ass and then one day she comes home carrying this feral, hulking, half-dead buffoon of a man child who she found mauled by a bear in the woods and literally held him out to carlisle and i was like ‘i want THIS one’

“Do I contradict myself? Very well, then I contradict myself, I am large, I contain multitudes.” -Walt Whitman

OH MY GOD THEY WERE PALEONTOLOGISTS

can somebody caption this for me

I wish my father was here! *LA CUCARACHA!* *SCrrEEEEEECH* *COWBOY MUSIC* HELLOOoO Soss! Timmy Turner, my name is Dougsdale Dimmadale Dimmadimmsdomedoodiddomedimedimmsdimmadimmadome owner of the Dougsdimmsdimmadaledimmadimsdomedodimmadimmsdaledimmadimmsdaledimmadome! Thank you for locating my long-lost son Dale Dimmadimmsdomedoodiddomedimedimmsdimmadimmadome, heir to the Dougsdimmsdimmadaledimmadimsdomedoodimmadimmsdaledimmadimmsdougsdaledimmadome fortune! If there’s anything I can ever do to repay you for your kindness, all you need to do is ask!!! Doug Dimmadome? The owner of the Dimmsdale Dimmadome? Not right. Not right? That’s right. Doug Dougmadomedimmadimmadomedimmsdaledomedaledimmsdodimmdougdodimmadomedimmadomedimmadomedimmadome owner of the Dougsdimmsdimmadaledimmadimsdomedoodimmadimmsdaledimmadimmadimmadimmadimmsdaledimmadome. The same Doug Dimmadome, owner of the Dimmsdale Dimmadome, where they’re showing Crash Nebula? On ice? Yeah! Not right. Not right?! That’s right. Timmy Turner, my name is Timmy Dimmadoodimmadome owner of the *SOUND OF COMPUTER DYING* Then you can get me three tickets to s– Not right! !O L L E H *hcEeeeEERrrCS* *!AHCARACUC AL LA CUCARACHA!* *LIMO REPEATEDLY PULLS UP AND PULLS AWAY* I wish my father was here! *Freezeframe, grayscale* CRAWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWLINGGG INNNNNNNNNN MY SKIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIN THESE WOUUUUNNDS THEY WIIIIILL…………….

just so you know this transscript is in fact actually 100% accurate

I would like to know exactly how long you had to listen to this to get the transcript this accurate

i am going to sound ssssooooooo mean. but. i legit do not care if it wasn’t that couple’s intention to start a wildfire. like...no kidding. i never thought it was. who would intentionally set california on fire for a gender reveal??? they still deserve to be ridiculed as much as they are. sorry

as a californian, we know when wildfire season is. we watch it every year. we know what point in the summer is most dangerous for things like bonfires or outdoor barbecues or fireworks. how self-centered do you have to be to set off explosives in the middle of a dry field, in the middle of california, in the middle of august? in the middle of a PANDEMIC? for a GENDER REVEAL! i’m fucking livid

intention vs outcome, right? they really thought they were doing a “cool” gender reveal and that would be the end of it. get a bunch of likes on instagram. get some clout off of their unborn child. whatever. sure. i buy it. very californian sentiment, admittedly. they didn’t intend to displace 3,000+ people, coat the sky in ash (in the middle of a pandemic which attacks your respiratory system), and incinerate some of the oldest trees on earth. but that kind of disregard, vapidness at the level which they conducted themselves to even think it was a good idea.....is a kind of malice. and it’s mean of me, and kind of not helping anyone, but i want them to be embarrassed about it for the rest of their lives. end of rant

😭😭😭❤️❤️❤️

some of y’all never close your eyes in the sun and allow it to envelop you in feelings of peace and contentment and it shows

a shallow and pretentious male narrator whos supposed to fall in love with a manic pixie girl takes a wrong turn, and bumps into another shallow and pretentious male narrator, they fall in love instead

fight club

Okay but where’s the source?? Credit the writer??

i wrote this and it can be found here lol

Imagine being able to take credit for the greatest literary work of all time

it never even occurred to me that if you get prosthetics you could chose your height.