I Don't Know Man

Ryland and Colt spent a good ten years believing their oldest brother was dead. He went to prison after the most traumatic even of their life, allowed them to visit maybe a few times a year, and then he was just. Gone. Neither of them got an explanation, and eventually they both assumed Courtland had died and the cops were covering it up. They fought it, obviously, but they got blocked and shut down at every turn and eventually they just. Well. They didn't give up, not really, but they stopped. Because what else could they do?

Except surprise! Their older brother isn't dead! And he's in witness protection now! Because he was a shadow CIA operative for the past ten years! And he acquired a kid sometime during that! And now he's moving into Ryland and Simon's apartment building with his surprise kid! They're across the hall neighbors! Isn't this exciting?

Ryland and Colt go through the 5 stages of grief at an alarming pace because what??? The fuck??

Jody and Simon don't really know what's going on. They know in the vaguest terms that Ryland and Colt had (have?) and older brother, but neither of them really talked about it and Jody and Simon never pushed.

Courtland, meanwhile, takes his name back and legally becomes Courtland again. There was nothing tying that name back to the Sierra program or Sierra Six, and while it's not entirely advisable there's nothing stoping Courtland from doing it, so he does. The one change he does make, though, is that he drops his father's last name and takes on his mother's maiden name.

So he's now officially, legally, Courtland Grace.

And Courtland Grace is having the time of his *life* being the awkward hot single dad.

Oh my gosh thank you! Im so happy you're loving it!!! Those voicemails were the first major thing I wrote for this AU and I had fun with them (and by fun I mean I got really emotional about them too😂) honestly looking back making the voicemails the prologue would have been so good!!

But dont worry, Im gonna have them come up in the fic at somepoint, and I plan on there being tears haha. I only have chapters 1 and 2 up on Ao3 right now, but im hoping I can get to that part soon cause im a sucker for writing angst!!

You are very much appreciated, thank you for reading!

Do I have any proof of this? No. Does it make sense in my head? Yes.

In reference to this post from yesterday, I have written some ideas for this... hypothetical fic. Nothing to concrete yet but just little somethings I wanted to have written down. I'll add more to the bloodymary side of things down the line, for now we get sad Twins hehe

Half-Baked Ideas:

- The events of Fall Guy still happen, just with Ryland as his twin who he hasn’t spoken much to since his back was injured.

- not for lack of trying, Ryland tried to support him the second he heard of  Colt's injury. But Colt pushed him away and closed everyone off.

-Ryland gave him space, but one day he visited because he was becoming very worried for Colt and wanted to help. It grows into an argument, Ryland not wanting to back down while Colt stays defensive and dismissive. Eventually Colt lashes out, bringing up Courtland and saying how if he didn’t protect Ryland that day then maybe he would have a brother he’d want to talk to. Implies that it’s Ryland's fault that they haven't had an older brother around for years.

- In the back of his mind, Colt knows he's just bringing this up because he's angry and wants someone to be angry at. He knows what he’s saying isn’t true, but anger and pain clouds reason.

-In the back of Ryland's mind he wants to believe Colt doesn’t mean it. But deep down, a louder part of him thinks he's right and truly believes Colt hates him for it. (It’s a fear he’s had for most of his life, a fear Colt has worked hard to get rid of, and now Colt is the very thing that brings it back in full force.

-Ryland leaves without another word, they both have tears in their eyes.

-Ryland calls a week later, but Colt doesn’t pick up. The voice message he leaves says something along the lines of “Hey colt, I'm really sorry for making things worse last week, I promise that wasn’t my intention. I’m gonna give you all the space you need, I swear I won’t come visit until you're ready. But just remember to call me okay? Anytime. I love you… bye.

-Voice message- 2 months after the argument “hey Colt it's me, just wanted to say happy birthday. I messaged you about meeting up to celebrate together, but um- but I guess you're pretty busy right now. And that's okay! I’ve been busy too, so I understand. Just… Maybe call when you can? Cause it’s um… Well it’s my birthday too and- and I’d really really love to hear from you, okay? No pressure though, it’s not urgent or anything… Okay, love you bye.

- Voice message- 6 months after the argument “Hey, just wanted to call you, but sorry I must have caught you at a bad time. I hope your doing good, haven't heard otherwise but would love to hear about you, since I haven't heard from you for… a while *clears throat* ah but um i wanted to tell you, I met someone. Well actually I've known him for a while, I wanted to tell you about him sooner, but it didn't seem important… anyway yeah we’ve actually been going out for a little bit, and I know you're probably about to point out how ‘dating wasn’t my style or whatever’ but I- he’s really nice. He’s thoughtful and caring and I've been having a great time with him and I'd love for you to meet him! I really like him Colt, and I don't know, it would be nice to have two of my favorite people meet, you know? So- so maybe we can meet up sometime? Like I’m good for whenever, we can work with your schedule. Just let me know when… when you can, okay? Kay, well love you, bye.

- Voice message- 10 months after argument *sniffling on other end of line* “Colt look I’m -sorry okay? I’m sorry for- for everything. I’m sorry for coming over when you were hurt. I’m sorry for overstepping when you made it clear you didn’t want me around. I’m sorry for- for growing up weird- and me being a coward and- and you stepping in so much, I was always grateful but that was not fair for you I should have been able to handle- *A sob breaks through* I’m sorry for dad, I- I set him off so easily, I never wanted to but I just couldn’t figure *A shaky breath* I can’t figure out what's wrong with me! And I’m sorry for Courtland! God I’m so sorry Colt, he’s the one that should have been there not me! I wish everyday that- that he could haven been there with us- with you- I don’t know why that day went so wrong, Maybe if I had been quieter instead like you guys then Court wouldn’t have-

* he swears under his breath, he never swears* … I know it’s my fault, believe me I’m never forgetting that, but God, Colt… I miss you. I-I know that's so childish of me but- but I keep waiting for you and you never… Sometimes if I think to hard about it I just wait next to my phone like your gonna call any minute and I * A quieter sob interrupts him, he sounds so defeated* … I can’t keep doing this Colt, I- I know that's selfish but I can’t keep waiting… Just please please at least tell me your not coming back, at least come punch me or- or slap me or tell me to fuck off so I know not to keep holding on *he takes a deep breath* … your my brother and I love you, and that's never going to stop, but just know that I’ll understand if you don’t love me too…” the call ends there

I need y'all to be doing this, I have no marketing budget and people find music through stuff like that

hey guys, that among us show is pretty cool

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you have no idea how much self control i used to not make an "i hardly know her" joke here

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