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i'm dexter, i'm 25, and i'm an aroallo queer trans man (9 months on t!). i'm also autistic and have adhd (among other things).

i've written fanfiction for the last thirteen years or so, but i haven't published any in a looooong time. my hyperfixation on project hail mary made me start sharing my work again!

i'm currently writing an episodic series of smut fics exploring grace and rocky's exophilia and an angst-heavy smut series in which simon believes he needs to give grace something in return for his generosity. i'd love to eventually branch out into grace/rocky/adrian and simon/grace/rocky works!

feel free to send me whatever, asks don't have to be about my fics specifically! i just want a place to talk about my bloodymary/grocky/grockdrian/etc thoughts lmao.

kink list/nos under the cut for those sending asks!

What’s that!!! What does that mean??? What are you doing to my boy!!! Oh no!!!

hhfjkdshgk yeah i've said before that if i were to write a fic of older professor grace/younger student simon, it wouldn't end with them in a happy perfect loving relationship and probably wouldn't end with them in a relationship at all.

they're not good for each other. simon is only so enamored with grace because of his own trauma (daddy (figure) issues, the fact that he so desperately craves the approval of an authority figure). grace doesn't treat simon as an equal partner (because, first and foremost, he views him as his student) and is somewhat manipulative, impeding on simon's boundaries and convincing him to do things that grace wants because grace is a selfish, selfish man. (grace's characterization would be based on pre-amnesia grace, particularly from the book. he's selfish and a coward and hates being wrong, even when he demonstrably is.)

they do care about each other, in their own ways, but grace won't give simon the room to grow (because he likes simon just how he is, sensitive and malleable and eager to please). in a happier ending, grace would be a sort of jumping-off point for simon to go from being very sheltered in the cult he grew up in to being able to form normal relationships. grace showed him that he can be desired and appreciated and cared for, but he doesn't want a simon who is independent and recovering from his trauma, so simon has to leave him behind in order to continue his journey.

I also thought about Rocky while they were splitting Simon in two, just straight up asking Grace if he would lend Simon for him and Adrian to have over the weekend and then got so hard I exploded.

I think Rocky wouldn't even bother asking Simon and Grace certainly wouldn't as well as he immediately says yes, as long as they sent him photos of Simon fucked silly and dumb when they are done with him. Simon'd come so hard he doesn't even think about the implications of his much older professors treating him as an object that you can own and borrow without caring for his opinion on the matter. And let's be honest, if or when he does, he'll probably find it so fucking hot against any and all better judgement.

This au makes me sick and insane /positive

sweating...... heavy breathing...... yeah.......

i imagine human rocky to swap between an aac device and sign language, so he and grace could absolutely communicate about this right in front of simon without tipping him off by both signing. or, even better, rocky signs to grace and grace replies back verbally so simon can only understand half of the conversation (but he gets the gist).

he feels rocky's hands disappear from his hips and he's confused until he hears grace reply, "hm? oh, yeah, adrian would love him." pause. "i mean, i wanna be there the first time, but i don't mind, no." pause. "well obviously i want photos." pause. "next weekend works for me, yeah."

between rounds (when simon is snuggled between rocky and grace, both of them still groping at him and passing his face back and forth for kisses), simon asks what they were talking about.

"oh, rocky wants you to meet his spouse. i figured we could visit their place next weekend and play a little," grace says nonchalantly.

"uh. and by play a little you mean...?"

rocky snags his device from the bedside table to say, "mean all four of us together. grace rocky adrian play with simon."

simon turns bright red. suddenly, his half-chub is a full erection poking into grace's hip, and he buries his face in grace's chest. grace coos at him and scratches his scalp just the way simon likes, the way that always makes him melt into grace's touch. from behind him, rocky mouths at simon's neck as he reaches to palm simon's cock.

"does that sound fun, baby?" grace asks.

he already knows the answer, but simon nods anyways. belatedly, he says, "i haven't even met adrian."

"you'll like them. trust me."

-🧱

Also please right more that was so so good, I can't wait for the next chapter

-🧱

noooo i can be trusted with bricks i throw them so so gently

and then he actually ended up in prison and either he wasn't actually assaulted (because who would dare touch the Butcher, great way to get your junk ripped off probably) or if he was, of course it was awful and completely different when he wasn't in control of the fantasy

and Simon just has a lot to process from allllll of that, maybe he's even jerking off IMAGINING Grace doing the whole "you have to please me in exchange for all the food/water/air I'm giving you" trope, but in this version Simon pretty much knows Grace would never do that but he has SUCH a huge crush on Grace and just like. not really any context for consensual sex EITHER in fantasy or experience, and he feels horribly guilt for imagining Grace like that when he KNOWS Grace would never do that, now that he knows how cruel assault actually is (maybe witness some even if it didn't happen to him) and just tying himself into so many knots about it until Grace with all his control issues finds out about it and comes so hard he blacks out and then they can Play :3

thinking very extremely hard about this......

simon who used to feel guilty about the fact that his sexual fantasies were exclusively about men. eden considers homosexuality sinful and it was preached that sex was intended for procreation, and here he is imagining men — bigger than him, stronger than him, more aggressive than him — pinning him down and taking what they want from him. his only consolation is that clearly he doesn't want to fuck a man. he's not imagining consensual romantic sex, he's imagining an attack! he's afraid in these daydreams! (he repeats this to himself over and over again after jerking off in his rare moments of privacy until he kind of believes it.)

now, instead, he feels guilty because his sexual fantasies are full of assault. they're full of GRACE assaulting him. he didn't really think about the implications of his fantasies when the men in them were faceless, but now that he's imagining grace manhandling him into position and forcing his cock inside of him and making fun of him for begging him to stop, he feels awful about it. grace wouldn't do those things. he's kind and funny and cries at the drop of a hat; it would destroy him if he knew the scenarios simon's sick brain insists on putting him in. even once they start having sex — wonderful, pleasurable, very consensual sex — simon vows to never, ever tell grace about this shameful desire of his.

somehow, they end up on the topic of 'gay awakenings'. grace tells simon about his, and it's something embarrassing and stupid, and he asks how simon figured out he was gay. simon clams up, because either he has to come clean that the first time he masturbated was to the thought of one of his bunkmates raping him or he has to make something up on the spot. grace begs simon to tell him, giggling and giving him puppy-dog eyes, and simon sighs and quietly relays his experience with as few details as possible.

"huh." grace swallows. "did you... think about that sort of thing a lot?"

"i guess so."

"do you think about that sort of thing with... with me?"

simon stares at him. grace's expression isn't judgemental. far from it, actually; he looks intrigued. excited, even. simon has no idea how to respond.

grace continues, "i would never do anything to hurt you, you know that. but i've thought about it too, y'know. a couple times."

(this is getting long SO! coi roleplay addition under the cut <3)

EXTREMELY GOOD YES

grace sitting on the floor behind simon and pulling him into his lap, his legs on either side of simon's, simon's arms pinned between them, and telling him he'll get another chance to come today. from the position, simon is expecting grace to unlock the cage and jerk him off; instead, grace rucks up his shirt, bunches it up under simon's armpits, and holds the hem up to his lips.

"bite down," he says, and simon does, holding the fabric in place. a pseudo-gag of sorts.

simon has had his nipples played with before, but he still jolts when grace's fingers first touch them. like always, guard grace is rough with him — pinching, tugging, flicking while simon winces and squirms. every so often, he'll soothe his hands down simon's stomach and back up to his chest, then resume his torment. precome drools from his cage, wet, sticky strings of it dripping onto his still-clothed thighs. simon can't even imagine how debauched he must look right now.

at some point, grace pinches and twists a nipple particularly painfully and simon's mouth opens in a gasp, letting his shirt fall. grace smacks his cheek — not too hard, just shocking — and lifts the shirt back up.

"follow instructions or you won't get off today."

"i don't think i can get off like this," simon gripes back.

grace shrugs. "i guess we'll see." then he shoves the shirt back into simon's mouth.

when grace touches him again, simon's hips rut up into nothing. he's afraid he'll be scolded, but grace just murmurs, "good, see, i knew you'd like this. those tits are just begging to be groped."

simon growls at the descriptor.

"what, you don't want me to call them 'tits'? they're big enough to be tits." grace takes a handful of muscle and squeezes. "i know women with smaller boobs, seriously."

simon tries to argue, but his speech is too muffled by the thick fabric in his mouth. all it does is make grace chuckle.

"be a good girl for me and shut up while i make you come from your pretty tits, okay?"

simon growls again, but it dissolves into a whine as grace pinches both nipples and tugs them as far as he can. his chest pushes out, following grace's hands to try and reduce the pain, and his hips jolt again when grace gives both nipples a tweak. god, what he wouldn't give to get a hand on himself. or grace's hand. grace's boot. anything.

not really! (which is surprising, because i have ocd and it loves to tell me my kinks make me a terrible person lmao.)

i think a big part of that is that i've only ever worked with students that are so very different from the typical student in a teacher/student kink scenario. i worked in an elementary school first, then moved to high school self-contained special ed. my experience working in education feels so far removed from the kink scenarios i enjoy that i don't even really compare the two in my mind.

I'm imagining that Simon not only gets insanely slick, but also squirts very easy (and a lot 😏). That man is WET. He is MESSY and SLOPPY.

BUT! This isn't a thing he really knows about himself when he and Grace start getting sexual. I think most of his early attempts at pleasuring himself would be subpar at best, and painful and shame inducing at worst. Simon starting his relationship with Grace with basically no knowledge of how his body is going to react to anything they do together, but still being so eager despite his bad past experiences. (I'm a dirty dirty pervert with a virginity kink, sue me)

The first time they really get down and dirty together, Simon ends up squirting directly in Grace's face, and he's mortified. He ends up trying to apologize for (from his perspective) pissing on grace.

Grace quickly assures him that one, he didn't piss on Ryland and what just happened was entirely natural (and very much appreciated, he had to fight very hard not to come in his boxers when it happened) and two, even if he did piss in his face it would very much not be a deal breaker for him (y'know after some kink negotiations and proper boundaries being established).

Simon still being nervous about messing up their sheets with how wet he's getting before Grace fucks him so hard all he can do is moan and whine and squirt around his dick/strap while Ryland showers him in praise for being so pretty and wet for him. I love sloppy wet messy sex so much, I want them to absolutely RUIN that mattress >:)

haven't stopped thinking about this since i got this ask btw

grace learns how very little simon knows about his own anatomy (let alone GRACE'S anatomy, going with cis grace for this) and can't help but go teacher mode the first time they start taking off their clothes with each other. he runs his fingers over simon's cunt and murmurs out anatomical names for each part and what purpose they serve; simon can't do much but stare down at him and bite back needy little noises. he's told grace before that he's a virgin and he's barely touched himself before, and grace really doesn't want to overwhelm him too quickly, so he keeps his touch slow and light.

when grace asks if simon has orgasmed before, simon looks confused and replies, "i thought only men did that?"

"oh, baby." grace feels a flare of anger at whoever taught simon about sex (and a flare of arousal at the thought that he gets to give simon his first ever orgasm, holy shit, how did he get so lucky?). "no, you can orgasm too. let me show you. please? can i show you?"

simon is mortified when grace first puts his mouth on him — he kisses simon's outer folds and simon gasps like grace just punched him — but slowly relaxes as grace tells him that he's done this before, he loves doing this, he knows simon will like it too. grace massages at simon's tense, trembling thighs as he alternates between licking him open and mouthing at his swollen t-dick. when he notices simon's hand wavering, unsure of what to do with it, grace takes it and guides it to his head; simon pets grace's hair so gently, like he's afraid of hurting him, his fingers tightening every so often when grace does something that feels particularly good. grace is louder than simon even though he's not even being touched — simon's noises are quiet, muffled by him biting his lip and clearly trying not to get too loud, but grace openly groans as he savors simon's taste.

"ryland," simon says urgently, his legs drawing up a bit closer to his body, and grace knows he's getting close. "fuck. fuck. i think — is this —?"

grace can't speak (he won't take his mouth away, not for a second, not when simon is right on the brink of orgasm) so he just nods, the corners of his lips curling up in a smile. simon's whole body tenses, his hand gripping desperately at grace's head, and his hips snap up unbidden as he comes for the first time...

... and, to grace's utter delight, squirts. simon whimpers as it gushes out of him, coating grace's chin and cheeks and neck; grace laps up what he can, open-mouthed and tongue lolling against simon's hole. he's lost in his own enjoyment and it takes him a moment to register that simon has started apologizing. he's stuttering about being gross and awful and weakly pushing at grace's shoulder to try and move him away.

grace pulls back enough to speak. his chin is still dripping. "simon, that was perfect."

"i fucking... i pissed on you, that's disgusting, i'm disgusting —"

"you didn't," grace interrupts. "it's normal. i can explain more later but right now i really, really want to do that again, if you'll let me."

simon does let him. several more times. and when simon tells grace he can't come any more, grace shows simon how to fist his cock; he's already so worked up that it takes no time at all for him to come, spurting across simon's stomach and dripping down his knuckles.

Anyways, Simon gets spiteroasted for an entire afternoon. Adrian can join in the next time if they want, Simon deserves to get passed around like a blunt at a college party, you know, as a treat

(i am ALSO an aac user human rocky enjoyer!! i like the idea of him using proper grammar in settings like work/school/etc. but not giving a shit when he's with friends/family. he knows that the general public will treat him better if he talks 'correctly', but he much prefers the hail mary accent.)

this is especially good with the idea of simon having been in both grace and rocky's classes at some point....... professor grace and professor rocky can BOTH be a little problematic for funsies. rocky definitely thought simon was attractive, but didn't make a move on him when simon was his student; now that simon is already hooking up with one professor, what's one more?

grace tells rocky that he's fucking simon and he's all nervous, thinking rocky's going to judge him or hate him, and rocky is like "grace. rocky wanted to tap that ass too. give rocky details NOW." and as grace is telling him about how eager to please simon is, how grace is his first long-term relationship of any kind (and probably the first person he's had sex with), how he does whatever grace asks, rocky is slowly getting more and more jealous that grace gets to fuck this pretty boy and rocky blew his chance.

"he'll be at my place this afternoon," grace says.

rocky jokes, "is rocky invited, question?"

"you could be. i don't think he'd turn you down. he told me once that he thought you were hot."

grace is right; when simon shows up at his door later and grace and rocky open it together, simon agrees to a threesome with very little convincing. he seems surprised that rocky actually wants to join in (something something terrible self esteem) but rocky lets him know that he's very enthusiastic about getting into simon's pants by kissing him breathless while they're all getting undressed. simon ends up pinned between them — face buried in grace's cunt, grace holding him by the hair so he can guide his movements, rocky gripping his hips hard enough to bruise while he fucks him — and absolutely fucked stupid for the next several hours.

this blog wasn't originally intended to be so full of bloodymary, it's just what people tend to send me the most! i was a gracerocky shipper first <3