A frog…..is just a really green gentleman.

technically we’re ALL, always LARPing, because the Self is only a construct,

I want a new character

Then make one.

“Then make one” has the same energy as “then perish” but like. Opposite. Same and opposite.

“who ARE you” 

I can never not remember this whenever someone says “abort the mission”

is saying “horses” when you pass a field of horses a midwesterner thing or a whole ass national thing bc ive never been in a car when we passed a field and somebody has to just say Horses in a monotone voice and we all look and nodd and keep drivin

this is complete “cows” erasure

listen i kno we all have a giggle at people from ye olden times for believing in the four humors and bloodletting and shit like that but there are adults in this year of our lord 2018 who deadass believe there are Toxins in their body that can be released by drinking juice

“that’s the spirit” i say as i gesture to the spirit that’s been haunting my home for years. when will they leave or start contributing to the household by doing something like helping with laundry. when will they pay rent

i still can’t believe renaissance fairs are real

it’s like anime expo for fans of the black plague

just discovered a neat trick. if you make brownies but dont cut them, you can eat the whole slab and say you only ate 1 brownie

do not do this

CAST A FAT GIRL AS A LEADING LADY IN A ROMANTIC COMEDY WITHOUT HER WEIGHT EVER BEING A PLOT POINT YOU FUCKING COWARDS

“Yoink” is the opposite of “Yeet”

But it’s just as fast