_(:3 」∠)_

one time I went over to a friend's house and their housemate was making paper in the living room, and we saw this big tub full of water they were using to dissolve old scrap paper into a slurry, and everyone was immediately like "oh, you need scrap paper?" and started turning out their jacket pockets and producing expired coupons and bus tickets and crumpled receipts and old shopping lists and whatever else they'd been carrying round with them for no good reason, and passing it all to the paper-making housemate to make sure it was suitable before it got torn up and dropped into the tub, while people took turns stirring the slurry with a big wooden stick. it was strangely ritualistic, like presenting an offering to some kind of temple elder for inspection before placing it in a watery shrine to be devoured and reformed. pulp for the pulp god.

"the early 2010s were better" no they weren't. "hey soul sister" was on the radio.

stereo. The way you move ain’t fair you know.

Charlie Kirk is scheduled to speak at UVU. I have the opportunity to do the funniest thing of all time

IT WASN'T ME I PROMISE

ortus nigenad is a better man than I am bc if I was peacefully dead and my teenaged boss called my spirit back to play make-believe I would simply tell her to fuck off

But.. he's a typical writer... Wake up to wax lyrical about his work, and checking the kudos and the comments.

Hanging out with people will make you remember you're the crazy woke friend for like. not wanting to shop at shien

“my father is a boy and my mother is a girl so i’m mixed” is the funniest possible response to someone asking your gender and it came from 6’5 Viking footballer and notable weird little guy Erling Haaland on a Snapchat