Love Many Things

There are four jokes in the span of 30 seconds and they all land. Prime Simpsons was something else.

girl with ptsd voice: hey, so something really bad is gonna happen, right? you guys are picking up on that too, yeah? The other shoe is about to drop, I just know it.

fucking the text man for texts one of society's most influential works

I lowkey hate when programs talk to me in a friendly way. "don't worry, nearly there!" Shut up. It should say "loading 64.3% completed. Do not turn off device" and absolutely nothing else. You arent my friend you are computer. Act like it

I love tumblr more than IG bc IG feels like I’m posting looking for a job but on here it’s like I already lost the job and my wife and the house and I’m just sitting on the curb talking to myself

funniest thing to ever happen was when my boyfriend put on the first episode of columbo (which i'd never seen) but he wouldn't tell me what show it was he would only say "you'll get it when he shows up." but a fun fact about the first episode of columbo is that he doesn't show up for 32 minutes and when he does, he silently walks into the room with a cigar and does a little pose and goes "hi i'm columbo."

Where I come from, we don’t worry about these fruity-tuity California style buds. Okay? I’m from Scranton. What i’m smoking is dirt. So lets get that straight jack. Pure brick. Ass. Okay? America- Americans are wanting to smoke that dirt, okay? You go up to someone and say, hey, I’m gonna give you a big bag of this heady bud, but I’m taking your stash of mids, they’re gonna say C’mon man! get out of here! *audience cheers* that’s right. that’s right. Get the hell out of here! We like stems! We like seeds! Where I come from.

this post is scripture to me like this is a seminal text. to me