Psychotic Spectrum

Hello everyone,

Yes, I know I've said a million times that I'm not very active here lol, but there's been a lot going on in my life. I was really active on the schizophrenia spectrum chat though, I miss it so much, we built a small but warm community there. It's too bad tumblr decided to terminate them

Anyways, oh boy where do I start? Well, I finally got a job!! And a good one. I've been working as a Bilingual Executive Assistant at an international scientific organization. It's a job that I actually enjoy, despite some differences I have with a coworker, people are actually really nice. Also it pays good, at least a bit above average income in my country. So that's something that has kept me motivated.

Also, I got a disability pension!! It's amazing since it's really difficult to get. Most people don't qualify for it and spend sometimes years appealing, going to interviews to finally getting rejected. Also to get disability due to mental illnesses is even harder! It was a really exhausting process with lots of very triggering interviews, after each interview I felt really dissociated, but it was worthy in the end. And after that I realized that looking back, I've been really ill these past 10 years.

Also, I've been in therapy for a few months now, and I love my psychologist, she gives killer advice, especially about how to deal when I'm on a dissociated state. Also we've been treating my many traumas.

I no longer have trouble sleeping, I take a big cocktail of meds though, but now I can sleep very well and I'm always able to wake up on time, since I've got to wake up at 5 AM in order to get ready and arrive at work at 8 AM. But as I said before, I like my job so I don't see that as a huge sacrifice.

What else? Well, I'm saying I think I'm healing because not only I haven't hurt myself in months, but also I got a couple of tattoos done, one of them on my arm where there are scars so I got it done there to cover them, because I don't want to hurt myself again. And the tattoos are beautiful! I found a good tattoo artist on a studio recommended by a friend of mine.

Then why do I say there's a chance of relapsing? Well, I haven't spoken to my brother in months, he did some awful things and I got sick of his constant abuse. Due to that, I've been dissociating quite a lot. Also I started to think people at work are spying on me, and it's been a strong feeling that started a couple of weeks ago. But I won't let it control me, I immediately started working on it, I spoke to my psychiatrist and she made a med adjustment. The feeling is quite strong though, but like I said, I'm working on it. I won't be hospitalized again 😤.

Finally, there are elections in my country (Chile) where the two candidates for ballot are from extreme opposites, one of them is from the far right, and he's a kind of Trump/Bolsonaro type, extremely conservative who is threatening to going back 50 years into civil rights. The other candidate is from the left wing, but he's really open for dialog and unity for my country, he's young and he's promising more equality and improving on human rights, and he actually has OCD and has been hospitalized for that illness, so he knows about mental health from first hand experience and he wants to improve mental health. Is it too obvious who I am supporting?

And that's about it I guess. As you can see there is a lot going on. Thanks so much for those of you who actually took the time to read this looong post, I really appreciate your support

I haven't been really active on this blog since I came back from the hospital

I've been really busy looking for a job and studying some online computer classes because they ask a lot of computer skills for executive assistant which is the kind of job I'm aiming to get.

Also I began the process of getting a disability card which was suggested by my occupational therapist, this card would help me to get a job on companies that require a percentage of disabled people, also to get some benefits from the government, but it's not guaranteed they'll give me the card since despite all my hospitalizations and sick leaves due to mental illness I'm quite functional except when I'm in crisis, but I won't lose anything by trying to get it.

Also I've been having some episodes (not psychotic at least) from BPD where I've felt really angry and I've TW hurt myself, but I'm on therapy we're finally we're tackling my trauma that caused PTSD.

And that's about it!! I hope you guys are doing ok.