i'm the fucking lizard king

explained to an 8 year old that once a fruit is ripe you only have so much time until it rots so you have to eat it soon and she said so i'll never be able to keep it perfect like this forever? no and there are about a million pieces of art for you unrelatedly

Marylanders don’t say hi hello how are you my name is they just try to kill you with their car. which is of course a great honor in their culture

I mean, in some very interesting Technically Correct ways, they didn't actually die? Now, they're very much no longer alive. But the forces involved are such that they didn't get any of the usual cellular processes of death, they simply went from biology to physics in less time than it takes a signal to travel down your optic nerve.

if you go from biology to physics without dying first you don’t go to heaven the uber driver went over this

As a transsexual woman 👩 who has had multiple experiences ‼️ I have found 🔎 that the biggest block of cheese 🧀 is usually the one ☝️ that has the largest size 📈

mature content

i'm on all of your dnis btw

I dont know (or care) What you have on there I'm all of them. I'm forsaken fans dni. I'm object show shippers dni. I'm weirdos/creeps/perverts dni. I'm proshippers dni I'm antis dni I'm adults dni and I'm minors dni. I'm all of them.

Even Chicago Cubs fans dni?

#GoCubs