Emotionally Colorblind

My boyfriend has to go to the ren fair for work but i can come and he wanted to do a matching costume. He was like “I want to be Frodo” and I was like “oh cool I can be Shelob” which was, apparently, not the couples costume he was thinking of

I was like “babe she has the most screen time of any woman in Return of the King” and my boyfriend was like “that cannot be true,” looked it up, and said “i can’t believe that’s true”

copper II sulfate ass wednesday

Gonna be real he blew it for us

Killed a spider n now I feel bad :/

tumblr user saturnine-powerbomb is on the other side of the cave, churning out spiders as fast as Georg can shovel them into his mouth

i mean pineapple on pizza is already so delicious all by itself but then you add in how many people get so angry about something as arbitrary as the taste preferences of people who are not them and it's like You Mean I Get To Eat Great Food AND In Doing So Passive Aggressively Tell Someone To Die Mad About It and that's really what elevates pineapple on pizza to the chef's kiss level

the urge to bite someone cuz you love them

so proud of my organs for unionizing. would be great if it wasn't against me but you can't win them all i guess.

what is the brain but the landlord of the organs

toxic mothers are wild they'll really be like "I never said that" like ma'am yes you did cause it's been ingrained in my head since I was twelve

“the axe forgets but the tree remembers”

my body and brain are separate entities and neither of them are me

my body and brain are making out on the couch while i starve to death under the porch

“poison is the coward’s weapon” boo hoo sounds like someone’s sodium channels are easily inhibited

if your deoxyribonucleosides depurinate I just don’t see how that’s my problem

like, it’s not like I asked your vesicle fusion mediating proteins to cleave and block acetylcholine release... you can’t keep deflecting responsibility for your own actions onto me just because I “put something in your food”