Clarisse Gourier

for any address to twitter you can replace the “x.com” with “nitter.net” and you will be able to browse as if you have an account. Lifesaver.

“Do you know why I pulled you over?” is a trap. It means there’s a good chance the officer doesn’t actually have a good reason to ticket you, and is trying to get you to waive your 5th Amendment rights and incriminate yourself. If you make a guess, that’s a confession of guilt.

In the end it took three weeks for Ilya to come out of the slump on his own. Reassurance, letters to and from the kids, and careful care from Shane all helped, but in the end the only true cure was waiting out the feelings.

Shane continued to be diligent and doting for another few days after Ilya crested the hill, at least, until his husband shooed him out the door. (You can only live as though you are sewn into someone's skin for so many weeks in a row.) They both needed some time away from one another. Shane offered to spend the afternoon with Kate and Evelyn. Ilya promised the floors would all be cleaned when he returned.

-

Ilya tracked Shane with his camera as he slid into the second lawn chair. Long shadows decorated the yard as the day died before them, and golden light cast Shane in a radiance that matched the glow Ilya always saw around his husband. Shane handed Ilya one of the beers he'd carried out.

Ilya cracked the lid off with his keys before handing them over to Shane. "Where did you get these?"

Shane opened his own beer and tossed them back. "Kate and Evelyn sent me home with a few, they had too many."

"That's very kind of them."

"Da…" Shane reached around Ilya's neck to pull the camera strap over his head.

Ilya was haloed in the reddening sunlight, Shane wanted to capture it. Ilya took a long drink, trying not to grin too wide behind his bottle. When he ultimately failed, he brought the beer from his lips to cheers the lens.

"How's Blue?" He asked, taking the camera back to take a clip of Shane's matching grin.

"Blue is great." Of course Ilya would ask about the dog before the people. That's okay. It actually matched Shane's own thoughts pretty well right now. "She lay down on my feet the whole time. I couldn't move."

Ilya set down his beer and made an exaggerated shocked face. "My Shane, the man I married." He pointed at himself. "Considering a dogs comfort over his own?" He pointed at Shane. "What have you done with my husband?"

Shane gave an exaggerated eye roll and a rueful smile. "Shut up."

Honestly seeing Blue had been nice. Shane liked the weigh on his feet, the feeling of Blue slamming into his legs in greeting. Anya was great but she was small and sharp, as well as: definitely Ilya's. The internet said that Australian Shepherds are one-person dogs. Whatever mix was in Anya it hadn't overwhelmed that trait. She listened to Shane, yes, but if she had the choice between saving Shane from a roaring river or getting swept down the current to be with Ilya? Shane was confident she'd leap in and leave him for dead.

Shane had been thinking for awhile about not having a true hobby, and about how he liked to spend his time. He liked elevated climbs more than Ilya, he liked working to get better and better at something, he particularly missed practice and training. Watching Blue flop through Evelyn's commands for some cheese had done a lot to solidify these desires into a plan.

Shane laughed awkwardly. "I've been thinking." Ilya perked up but kept quiet. "I ran into Susie down in town like two weeks ago. She said she still has a pup she can't home."

Ilya looked like he was scared to make any sudden movements. "One of Ms. Maggie's?"

"Mhm." Shane took another sip of courage. "And I mean, you have your camera and letters, but I haven't really figured out my hobbies yet."

Ilya watched Shane. "What are you saying?"

"You can say no, but I was thinking." Shane stared at the beer in his hand. "I could get a dog. I mean—"

"Yes." Ilya said over top of him.

"—if the little guy is even still available." Shane snapped head up to glare at Ilya. "Okay, think about it for a second at least. It would be a big change!"

"Okay, it has been a second, and I have thought about it, can I say yes yet?" Ilya was buzzing out of his skin.

Shane threw his arm over his eyes and grinned at the sky. "You're ridiculous."

"Yes."

"Glad you agree."

"No, I'm saying yes to the dog. You should get a dog." When Shane looked back Ilya was barely sitting in his chair still, opting to hover excitedly in case he needed to sprint somewhere. "I have Susie's number we should call her. Right now."

This was moving a little fast. Shane really should slow down. Except he had slowed down, he had thought about this a lot. He hadn't brought it up to Ilya until he was completely sure he could handle the responsibility. So really what would be the harm in–

Shane sprung out of his chair. "Not if I get there first!"

"Cheating!" Ilya screeched launching after him.

- Shane set down the phone. "Oh my god. I'm getting a dog."

Ilya squeezed him tighter. "Susie sounded very happy. We should go get him."

"Tomorrow."

"Fine."

Their attempted kiss was little more than a clashing of teeth.

-

"What are you going to name him?"

Ilya spoke into the darkness, unable to fall asleep with excitement.

"собака." Shane had made his decision back when he first started entertaining this idea.

"What?"

"I will be calling him собака."

"Shane." Ilya sounded equal parts confused and incensed. "You cannot name your dog. Dog."

"Why not?"

"Um?? because it deserves to have a name?"

"It does have a name, Dog."

"No. besides we call Anya, собака! You would have to at least call him пёс." Shane could not see Ilya in the dark. He knew his husband was talking with his hands.

"Okay, we can call him пёс for recall and I will call him dog when it I'm not talking directly to him." Shane did not hold the grin back from his voice.

"Those both just mean dog!" Ilya cried. "Boy-Dog is just gendered. You have to give your dog a real name!"

"No." Shane swung onto his side to give Ilya's cheek a quick and gleeful kiss.

"I hate you."

-

"Here's your pooch!"

A heavy lump of fur was deposited into Shane's waiting arms. Both parties seemed equally thrilled by the action. (Meaning they were without complaint and moderately happy for the new experience.) "What have you been calling him?" Ilya asked, loading the puppy supplies Susie offered into the trunk of their jeep. "Bodi is struggling with names."

Shane didn't bother arguing, he would much prefer for Ilya to hear Susie's reply. He knew what the answer would be. Susie handed over the last of the already torn up toys. "Oh, I've just been calling him Doggie." Ilya's jaw dropped and he looked between Susie and Shane in utter betrayal. "Doggie…" Shane grinned ear to ear. "Susie, what do you think about Sobaka?" "Sounds Russian."

"It is."

"Sobaka sounds great. Name him whatever you want." Susie waved her hand towards a lump of marred plastic she's sparred them from giving a home. "Just keep him away from the Frisbee. He's a maniac."

"Thank you, Susie," Shane hoisted Sobaka deeper into his arms. "I'm sure we'll find the perfect name for him."