They made a really inappropriate comment to me despite them almost being an adult

And then when I called them out they called me a r*t*rd

And then they immediately lied and said it didn’t happen?????

hey everyone. i’m back and i will start here. i took a break because well, teens on tumblr were telling me to kill myself because i disagree with them about things, mostly about… my own rapes! luckily i have a good support system. people who actually care about helping survivors.

story time yall massive trigger warning for everything below

i don’t want to say i was in a cult but. my family was part of a cult in the 80’s and 90’s. all my childhood and adolescence. this cult had a trade system. this cult had pedophiles. i mean real pedophiles. real ones. real ones doing real things to real kids. when i say pedophiles i mean adults who routinely and “for business” sexually assaulted prepubescent children, real prepubescent children, knowingly and for their own entertainment. 

a young adult reading and producing harry x draco or, i don’t know what the kids like these days, naruto x sasuke, voltron whoever the heck fan content is not a pedophile. in fact, to call them a pedophile and to call such content pedophilia feels like a spit in my face 

let me be really clear and direct at the risk of sharing some really personal things: 

there were tapes of me and my siblings and the other children in our church. and photo albums. this was mostly in the 80’s and 90’s, remember so we did not have tumblr. we were real children being exploited and traumatized. this was pedophilia. 

and now i hear all these young teens on tumblr insisting that fanart = pedophilia and the fanartists = pedos. you are wasting resources for your own personal gain and popularity and wokepoints on fictional people while i, having now become an adult, am a therapist, social worker and activist. i use my experience as essentially a child sex slave to help others recover and process and to help law enforcement when i feel that intervention is necessary to prevent someone from being harmed more

do you know how hard they would laugh if you tried to shove gay teen anime boys at them and call it pedophilia? do you know how hard some of them would cry and tell you to stop wasting their time? an officer i talk with regularly had to take months off because he was so shaken by one of the cases. shit like this affects all of us deeply. 

a fan liking the way two characters mesh is no more pedophilia than a writer writing a murder scene is an actual murder. 

and don’t use “grooming” as an excuse/weapon. you know what i was groomed with? uwu purity christ worship and sock puppets. stickers. care bears. know what i wish i had access to growing up? fanfics. or just sex scenes in movies. hell even teen nick shows about normal stuff like crushes. even just sex talks on sitcoms. SOMETHING to let me think about what was happening to me in a context outside of “this is what the lord made me for” and “we must be pure pure pure even if it means harming our own” something to help me think about real life through the lens of characters who might be very different or very similar to me

not once has an anti ever spoken to me as a human. they treat me like i’m “the wrong kind of survivor” because i’m not part of their crusade to suicide bait and call for the murder of perfect strangers because of imaginary things. 

the worst part is that as a therapist who specializes in csa related ptsd….i have so many young kids thinking they are evil for wanting to fantasize about their assaults in contexts where they are in control. let me repeat, a lot of the survivors like to fantasize about what happened to them as an “au” where they were in control, or aged up, or even enjoying themselves. sounds pretty fucked up right? well that’s the brain for you.  for a lot of us, it’s the only way to process some of it. 

you do harm when you equate a drawing or a fiction to the actual violence we endured. 

please. i am begging you. please stop. you aren’t helping. i can’t get people to take me seriously about csa as an issue when i talk about it online in professional settings. because they think i’m a crazy purity wank asshole when literally my job is to help others like me. please. please. please. we cant take it anymore. you have turned pedophilia into a scary buzzword to drag people with instead of a word to describe something real that we are trying to fight.

i already lost a friend to tumblr. you lot convinced her she was evil and perpetuating her own abuse because of a fucking voltron ship. you told her it was her own fault for being raped and that she was the same as her attacker.  you know who you are and you’ll have to live with it forever. may whoever meets you in the afterlife have pity on your misguided souls. you’ll have a lot to answer for. all the people you told to die, to “piss yourself” (ableist as fuck).

 please please please go outside and get a grip on reality. if you can’t, then stop pretending you care. 

if you cared and if you really believed it was bad enough to wish death upon people you would be saying that people are murderers for drawing or writing about death because how would you be able to excuse death? murder is a huge problem all around a world. so why isn’t fiction featuring murder held to the same standard, as “normalizing” murder and “romanticizing” death and “triggering” people who have lost someone to murder or who have almost been murdered. 

Attraction to minors is in the DSM and is a mental illness.

Attraction to minors is in the DSM and is a mental illness.

Attraction to minors is in the DSM and is a mental illness.

I have no fucking idea why suggesting access to appropriate mental healthcare for people who have an attraction to minors is even a point of discourse. If they are able to get access to treatment before they hurt a child they will not hurt a child, and even if their treatment is not progressing they are under a watchful eye

It’s people like you, antis, that make it hard for people who have a sexual attraction to minors to find appropriate healthcare. People who molest a child don’t even have to be sexually attracted to that child in order to perpetrate the crime, just like people who are sexually attracted to minors don’t automatically seek out the first child they see to offend.

People who are attracted to minors are finding it difficult or even impossible to find appropriate mental health care.

Do I fucking need to spell it out to you why that’s a bad thing? A very bad thing? Something that’s going to lead to more innocent children being abused?

People conflate people who have abused minors with people who are attracted to minors all the time. Hating child molesters is understandable. I hate child molesters. But when people try to get help they don’t know if the therapist is going to be safe to approach. If they find a safe therapist they don’t know if at some point it might leak out that they are seeing a therapist because of a sexual attraction to minors. If they do and people automatically assume they’ve molested a minor,  they can be fired, have their spouse or significant other leave them, or in worst cases they can be lynched.

When people do not receive the appropriate healthcare they need, mental or otherwise, it makes the condition worse. With your attitude of ‘someone who is simply attracted to minors is just as bad as an active child molester’  and threatening minor attracted people and hoping they choke and die and telling them they are not mentally it, you are contributing to these people not having proper access to mental healthcare and are actively raising the number of children who are abused by making it impossible for them to be helped.

So i guess I’m a ‘pedophile apologist uvu’ because I want minors to never be hurt because I want the people who are sexually attracted to them to get mental help.

By mogai identities I mean the ones like “cupioromantic/sexual” or “requiesromantic/sexual”.

Sexual/romantic identities are already too confusing to go around searching for another 15 labels just to feel “valid”. 

If you’re a lesbian it doesn’t mean that you always feel sexually attracted to girls, or that all girls look pretty for you, or that you find all men repulsive. It means that you only want to date girls. That’s all. Everyone has different experiences. No one feels love or sexual attraction the same way. 

If I go into a mogai sexual/romantic attraction masterlist, I could easily identify at least with 10 labels. 

Example: I could identify as “Idemromantic”( a romantic orientation that finds difficulty in distinguishing platonic and romantic attraction, but can usually figure it out by usuing other factors. ), because when I start falling in love with someone, I wonder if I just want to be their friend or if im really attracted to them. You know why I don’t go around labeling myself as Idemromantic? Because it’s not necessary. Why would I ever need to say im Idemromantic? It would only make me more confused about my identity, because feelings change, my relationships change. Maybe that girl I met last year made me confused when trying to figure out if i wanted something romantic with her or not. But this girl I met last month doesn’t make me feel like that. Should I stop identifying as idemromantic? am i still valid?

That’s what i’m trying to say. Most of mogai identities are based on how the person experiences sexual/romantic attraction, which, I must say, it’s pretty useless since every single person on this planet has different experiences and feelings. 

Sexual and romantic orientations are about who you love, not how you love.

Terms like gay, lesbian, bisexual, pansexual and heterosexual exist because it helps to clarify which genders the person feels attracted to. If a guy asks me on a date I will thell him im not interested in it because im a lesbian, and that might clarify that I only want to date girls. If someone goes into a dating app and puts in their profile they’re pansexual, that helps to clarify they could date a person of any gender.

You don’t know how stressful it is to be a 13 y.o on tumblr watching everyone label themselves with at least 5 terms (regarding their sexual/romantic attraction). I was just coming to terms with my lesbian identity, but I felt like I should put more labels on me, because it was more “progressive”.

ARE THEY REALLY

I haven’t even watched that series because, as I mentioned, not a gore person, but I know from friends people were already afraid antis would hate it and make creating content a living hell?

Erica was handled badly in the credits and I apologise if this comes off as transphobic I really don’t know how to word this but - Erica’s chromosomes aren’t changing. And we know that this God is a fucking dick, yeah? Like his motivations are shit? He’s a shitty guy? Giving Erica those dreams is plausible because she is still technically a male - biologically speaking - but I believe she is post-transition due to Toby’s comments as well as her general appearance. I could be wrong though who knows. Erica is a woman,and is generally treated as such by everyone around her. (Besides the main crew but I believe it is also mentioned that they are all childhood friends?? They seemed to act as such anyways. And most of these comments are played as teasing or friendly banter in my eyes. Especially since Erica never gave them any negative feedback besides an eye roll). Erica as a character is handled amazingly and the whole deadnaming in the credits was shitty I give y’all that.

Kanji is bisexual to me due to the fact that Kanji is attracted to Naoto pre and post Naoto dungeon. His dungeon was mainly about rejection to me and was about stereotypes which this game plays with heavily. In Kanji’s social link he is an amazing sewer (is that a word? Seamstress? He can sew things.) and makes these plush animals for a kid and his mom. Which- speaking in stereotypes- is traditionally feminine and pushed onto gay men. Which Kanji May have fallen prey to. He could have believed he fit the stereotype and shoved himself into that box because of it, and he eventually learns that stereotypes aren’t true and he’s gonna do what he damn well pleases god damn it, help me see some god damn plushies.

I don’t remember is Yusuke is mentioned in the article but I never considered him ‘gay-coded’ and am frankly confused by how everyone else sees this. Am I blind? Can someone help me out here? I just saw a generally silly artist type dude who is uhhh... pretty common in my circles of weird art people. Theatre people are weird guys. They... they really are.

I.e.: artistic expression by black men who were, sure, sometimes being vulgar for the hell of it (like white rockers weren’t?!) but who were also often talking about social issues and injustices too

You can’t kill the vulgarity without killing the important part too.

I’m not that old, but I was a 90′s kid and I know so many guys who weren’t allowed to watch DBZ or Pokemon growing up because their parents thought it would make them into violent people. And so when they walk into my room and see my toys, their faces light up and they ask to hold Gokuu. They never got to have that hero (most of them were forced only to look at Jesus for inspiration).

So, it just all looks exactly like that when I hear 14 year olds trying to say that fiction is voodoo and brainwashes people into thinking what’s in it is okay to do IRL and is directly responsible for the crimes in the real world. 

However, now that I think about it, I definitely had friends in highschool who constantly questioned my interests. They thought it was weird that I was obsessed with the Parker-Hulme murder (and the film I learned about it from, Heavenly Creatures). 

They thought I wanted to kill my mom because I was fascinated by this story. I also had friends who were disturbed by my interest in dark fics. Even at 17 I was like, “Uhh… no? Just because I like this story doesn’t mean I think what happens in it is okay?” and for whatever reason they couldn’t understand it. 

Like, it’s fine if you always want fluffy pure happy, sometimes I do, but I feel like to deny the darkness is more dangerous than disallowing it to exist in what can be records of thought experiments which help us to learn and grow in compassion in the first place. 

Some of us like to pretend dark and scary things safely in fiction as a way to bleed out the congested emotions and experiences we’re too full of. 

Also, it’s not always that deep. It’s fun to pretend.

I remember when some people blamed Columbine on Marilyn Manson.

I was a Manson fan.

The killers didn’t like Manson, they liked KMFDM. (A band that, uh, also does not go around telling kids to murder everyone at school? And that I also kinda liked?) They played DOOM, which my friends and I also played.

No one threatened me or anything, but I remember worrying. How could I dress? What could I say?

I eventually decided to wear all my band shirts and paint my lips blue AND GO AROUND BEING AS POLITE AS I POSSIBLY COULD TO EVERYONE to make a point.

Honestly, it made me a nicer person.

This kind of “art did it” person is not new…

What worries me is that it seems to go in cycles.

Like - I’m completely willing to believe that some large portion of the abuse survivors in the current young adult generation had abusers with edgy tastes, because edgy tastes were just generally more acceptable for a little while, as the internet let people get out from under the thumb of conservative & fundamentalist culture leaders.

But I wish they would believe us, too, when we say that abuse happened just as much in the previous generation’s purity culture. That its standards were used to create the current system where kids don’t have access to education on sex and consent. And that in the iteration of that culture that we saw, well-intentioned rules about what was good and proper for art to contain were mainly used to silence minorities, because policing always favors the privileged.

We also shouldn’t forget that the wave of purity culture that de-funded art about HIV, created the war on drugs and the prison-industrial complex, called Dungeons and Dragons satanic, and banned black music, was partly reactionary to the permissive period of the 60s and 70s.

Like…this stuff isn’t new it’s just the next generation latching onto it and rolling with it.

Like, the ones that are scientifically valid and can be checked over for bias, control group comparison, accounting for other variables, etc. show a *very thin margin* of impact.  It’s enough to be scientifically interesting but not enough to be a major effect.  What has consistently been shown to have a larger effect on kids, and be able to override media, is a) how permissive and/or encouraging adult authority figures are of things like violent behavior (aka when the teachers go “well kids will be kids” the kids all get the message they SHOULD act like that and that it’s expected and okay, esp. if there’s no positive reinforcement of empathy/positive behavior and good treatment of others), and b) MODELING FROM PARENTS AND ADULTS, ESP. AUTHORITY FIGURES.  The thing with the biggest impact on whether or not kids started mimicking violent behavior was if they saw an adult or someone they were supposed to respect acting that way.

(This is actually why a marriage where one parent is abusive towards the other but neither of them are abusive to the child is incredibly damaging; exposure to the abuse of the victim parent is traumatic and also counts as modeling behavior to the child as “the way things should be”, and forcing that to stay together “for the kids” does MORE damage than a divorce would.)

The dramatic “THIS PROVES MEDIA CAUSES THE BEHAVIOR IT SHOWS” studies are usually uh.  Sketchy as fuck?

I mean, the big meta-study that gets thrown around by the news about ‘video games causing violence’ is actually debunked as not scientifically valid, since they cherry-picked like Hell and in some cases used lines out of context to cite conclusions that were not there in the source research or that were the opposite.  A lot of the others don’t account for the behavior of the adults involved in the scenarios, the home situations of kids/others involved, or have the framing and handling of the kids skewing things towards the desired result. 

Also it’s now been long enough for “And this is where we are Cassandra” to kick in on the early research that predicted that thorough, clear sex education with health, safety, and consent would be *beneficial* and *reduce* rates of teen pregnancy/STD’s/etc. to actually have proof in comparisons between populations in areas that did thorough education and areas that do abstinence-only/purity-culture.

Guess which areas have been getting epidemics, which is a piss-off because it was so thoroughly preventable and manageable and is usually coupled with gutting the programs and treatments that would care for the results.  

How do i block people who specifically go into anti tags to mock and deride people who are uncomfortable with things that are at BEST sexual grey areas?

she is an actual pedophile with access to irl cp and she is a white supremacist who is violently islamophobic (x)(x). i’ve sent multiple reports to staff but they haven’t done anything at all and her blog is still up. 

I also see a few major flame wars.

I have the world’s most precious nephew.  When he was 3, he asked his mom and grandma if he could be a girl. Now, my family is smart.  Both his mom and his grandma asked “why?”  He said it was so he could have long hair. 

His mom showed him photos of famous musicians with long hair, along with Johnny Depp.  His grandma showed him photos of Brad Pitt, Troy Polamalu, and Jared Leto with long hair.  Then they told him “Boys can have long hair, see?”  He said “oh” and went on about his life being a boy.

When he was 4, this same nephew decided again that he wanted to be a girl. This time, the reason was so he could wear skirts and paint his nails.  Same reaction: his mom and grandma showed him photos of men in kilts, and men with painted nails, and said “boys can do that, too.”  He said “oh”, and decided he was okay being a boy. 

At the root of it, he didn’t really want to be a girl. He just wanted to do the same things he saw his mama doing. When he understood he didn’t have to be a girl to do those things, he shrugged it off and was cool with being a boy.

Now, if he ever adamantly decides that he is a girl, not that he wants to be a girl, myself, his mom, and his grandma will be okay with that. We just want to make sure he actually is transgender instead of deciding “oh he wants to do these things, so he is a girl.” We are extremely firm believers in making educated decisions. 

To start, any “No one should be told to kill themselves but–” is not acceptable. Suicide-baiting is never okay. I wouldn’t do that to the people that I detest the most and who were genuinely horrendous towards me, never mind over pointless Tumblr drama. 

As for @profujoshi (who I can’t tag), what was said was this:

and recently clarified:

And I’m sorry, but they’re right.

I’ve said this for a long time. It isn’t even just shipping. Tumblr as a whole encourages people to lie about their labels so that they don’t get abused.

I personally found a white, Christian woman lying and pretending to be:

A black, asexual Jewish woman

An Orthodox Jewish woman

An abused ex-Muslim

Yes. All of them. Has everyone forgotten about the “Hamilton fic drama,” where one American woman pretended to be both “a nonbinary Chinese-Pakistani human trafficking survivor living in India and the other, Naj, a US born lesbian of color also living in India” – all to justify posting fanfiction involving HIV?

Because that’s what happens on this site. Constantly. And where there are people that lie about their identities maliciously, there are those that feel forced to lie so that they won’t be abused by the constant “white/cis/men/heterosexuals are evil” discourse that happens.

Is faking an identity okay? Absolutely not. Is there a reason that it happens? Definitely.

Also, I’m no fan of anime, but from what I can gather, a “fujoshi” is a derogatory term for girls/women that are pretty obsessed with gay pairings. 

Oh. So there’s drama about that now?

Wasn’t it Tumblr that flew into a fit over JohnLock not becoming canon? Wasn’t it Tumblr that abused Jensen Ackles and harassed Supernatural writers because Destiel isn’t canon? Wasn’t it Tumblr that sent abuse to the wives and children of celebrities because they wanted to see certain male celebrities have a real-life romantic and sexual relationship, even though they’re straight and married?

Wasn’t it Tumblr that first popularised “queerbaiting,” where the vast, vast majority of examples were simply gay ships that weren’t canon and fans fetishised?

Or how about Ao3, which is full of gay fanfiction erotica, mostly written by women?

So, let me get this straight, if Tumblr doesn’t get the gay/lesbian ships that they fetishise in the live action or cartoon shows, that’s “queerbaiting” and “homophobic” and it’s good to abuse actors, writers and the like, where two same-sex characters being friends (or enemies, or just look at each other) are automatically gay/lesbian,but if women enjoy gay anime pairings, then that’s gross fetishisation? Am I understanding that correctly? Because if I’m understanding that correctly, that’s hypocritical and utterly idiotic.

If you’re talking about anyone that’s “Teh gay guyz r so HAWT but gay in real life iz GROOOOOSS,” then sure, that’s obviously fetishising and homophobic. But I have real doubts that that’s what you’re referring to.

No. Suicide-baiting is never okay. If people enjoy erotica and aren’t bigoted or abusive to others over it, then that’s their business and nobody else’s. Tumblr is also a toxic place that encourages people to lie about identities through fear of bullying, that’s an obvious fact, no matter how wrong those lies are.

And I’ll defend everyone equally when it comes to suicide-baiting. Because if I didn’t, that would make me nothing but a disgusting hypocrite.