fishy

To some, staring at a black line for hours on end seemed monotonous, boring even, but to Ilya it was the only thing that seemed to calm his mind. The constant laps had become an innate part of his routine. He had practice every morning finding it helpful to get a good start to the day and every night, finding nights restless whenever he didn’t. The hours upon hours had eventually paid off when he earned his first ever Olympic qualifying time. His Olympic debut had been at the London Games, he swam both the 800 meter and 1500 meter freestyle events. Despite his best effort, he had come up two spots short of a medal in both events. For the next four years, he had thrown himself back into his training, getting in more yards per week than he ever had. It had been an adjustment at first but overtime things started to fall into place.

He started to see results within the year. The 2013 World Championships was his first international meet since the games. He came out of those games with three international medals to his name – two bronze in the 400 individual medley and the 1500 freestyle and a silver in the 800 meter freestyle. From his performance, he knew exactly how he wanted to change his training schedule to better him for all three of these events. 

Over the next few years, he continued to watch his times drop and his rankings climb. Easily he qualified to compete for Russia when the qualifier meet came around in the early months of 2016. Going into the meet, he had been the favorite to win one of the two roster spots in each event. To the surprise of nobody, he did. After the meet, he returned to his training, his mind on nothing but the Olympics. All he had done over the past cycle was try to prove what he was capable of and now was his chance to prove it once and for all. 

The month before the games were set to begin, Ilya and his coach traveled to Canada. The Games were set to take place in Brazil and doing all of his last minute training in Canada would allow for him to have an easier adjustment to the time difference in Brazil while taking advantage of some of the training facilities that Canada had to offer. Coincidently, the pool that he and his coach decided to do their training at was the same one that Team Canada was having their own training camp at. Though, he very rarely saw them. His training schedule was both strict and unconventional. Often, his morning training sessions would occur before the sun had even risen. At first he had hated it but he had grown used to the demands and even found himself growing to enjoy the peace that mornings had to offer. Because of the early mornings, his evening sessions tended to be on the earlier side as well. While most swimmers his age ended their training around 8 or 9 at night, his rarely ran later than 7. The most he saw of the others was the hour their training overlapped a couple times a week.

Never did he find himself talking to any of them. To Ilya, swimming had always been a very isolated sport. He knew that wasn’t the case for everyone, that many people often had a team or even just a handful of others that they trained with day after day. But he never had that. The swim culture in Russia had been vastly different from what he had heard about in other countries. Most professional swimmers trained on their own, with a coach that only coached one or two other swimmers. Sometimes he couldn’t help the jealousy he felt whenever he saw that Canadian team. He yearned for the way they all pushed each other, spent their practices talking and laughing, and didn’t have to silently swim alone. He would never admit to it, though. 

He continued his routine of practices uninterrupted for about a week. It was the second Monday he was spending in Canada. The moment he walked into the locker room for his morning practice, he knew he wasn’t alone. That feeling was proven true when he turned the corner to the lockers and found one of the other swimmers sitting on one of the benches. He had seen him in passing a couple times but couldn’t pull a name from his brain. He gives the other man a simple nod before going about his own business. 

“You’re always here so early,” the guy commented as Ilya was about to grab his cap and goggles and head out onto the deck. “Doesn’t it make you tired?”

“No,” he replied with a shrug. “Am used to it.”

“Are you here by yourself?”

“With my coach.”

“You’re on the Russian team, right?” Ilya would be lying if he said that it didn’t shock him that this Canadian guy knew who he was. His face must’ve shown it too. “Sorry, that was weird but one of the younger swimmers is, like, obsessed with you. She said she really looks up to your training regime and that she wanted to try it sometime.”

“Tell her to stick to the team. Seems more fun anyways.”

“You don’t train with a team? Not even at home?”

“You ask lot of questions, but no. Is not common in Russia.”

“That’s strange.” The Canadian grabbed his own equipment before heading to the deck. Ilya had no choice but to follow. “I’ve never heard of anything like that. Do you like it?”

“Sometimes.”

“I don’t think I would. All of my best friends swim anyway so it just makes practice more fun. We all know how each other swims so it lets us just push each other to get better.” Normally Ilya would find him obnoxious, but after a week of nothing but swimming, he found himself not minding it.

“You’re here early,” he pointed out.

“I have a session with our athletic trainer during practice time so I thought I’d just get it over with now.”

Ilya migrated over to the lane he had spent the last week occupying. It was the end lane in the pool furthest from the door. He expected the other to find a lane away from Ilya but to his surprise, he set his bag down in front of the lane right next to him. Thankfully, morning practices were normally Ilya’s responsibility – his coach attended them very rarely. Most of the time he was given the practice before and just had to keep track of the times he was making in case his coach asked.

“I’m Shane by the way,” the Canadian – Shane allegedly – told him as he slid into the water. 

“Ilya.”

“I knew that.” Ilya couldn’t help but smile at the oddity of the man next to him. “What are you working on this morning?”

“Just an 800 meter speed set.”

“That sounds awful. I lean more towards sprinting and butterfly.”

“I sometimes do IM,” Ilya mentioned. “But only the 400. The 200 is too short for me. I don’t do sprint.”

“You’re crazy.”

That was the last thing that Shane said before dunking his head under the water and pushing off the wall. Shaking his head, Ilya pulled out his own practice and got to work. 

Their practices ended up being vastly different, he watched as Shane did mostly 50s and would sometimes even start in the middle and just do reps of 25 meters. It was a foreign concept to Ilya who, even in the middle of his tapers, would still be racking up more yards than Shane had done. It was always something that Ilya had found fascinating, how different workouts worked for different people. He knew that most people would think he was insane as the world had been slowly inching away from quantity and focusing more on quality of the yards. It was what worked for him so he didn’t dare change it. 

While they were doing completely different things, they still found themselves engaged in quick conversations when their practices placed them at the same wall at the same time. It was something Ilya wasn’t used to.

Shane was done with his practice before Ilya was.

“Maybe I’ll come practice with you early again,” he said as he climbed out of the pool.

“Ah, you don’t have to do that.” Ilya pulled his goggles off of his eyes to look up at Shane.

“Honestly, this was fun. I’ll see you around, Ilya.”

After his first practice with Shane, he found himself hating his solo practices just a little bit more. However, he and Shane had fallen into a rhythm of practicing in the morning with each other a few times a week. They would each do their own thing but Ilya found it comforting just to have someone else swimming beside him. Their friendship had also continued to grow. Ilya found himself telling Shane about life in Russia, his family, and his childhood. In return, Shane told him about the Canadian team, his best friend Hayden, and how he first fell in love with the sport. 

By the time the end of both of their training camps rolled around, they had started hanging out outside of the pool, they would get breakfast together in the mornings and would do their dryland workouts together. For the first time in years, Ilya found himself swimming because he enjoyed it and not just because it was something that he had to do. He was learning to love the sport he had fallen in love with when he was a child. It was really all thanks to Shane and his persistence in swimming with Ilya. 

From Shane: i know its your last night in canada, let me take you out to dinner!

From Ilya: That is not necessary, Hollander.

From Shane: too bad, you’re coming anyway.

From Shane: and i know you don’t have practice so you can’t use that as an excuse :P

From Ilya: Whatever.

From Ilya: What time?

From Shane: i know you’re still at the natatorium so i’ll just meet you there

From Shane: sit tight

From Ilya: How does one “sit tight”?

Left without an answer, Ilya rolled his eyes before putting his phone back in his pocket. He gathered his things into his backpack before heading to the lobby to wait for Shane. Luckily for him, Shane doesn’t keep him waiting long. Just a few minutes later, he came barreling in like he had run all the way here. His eyes scan across the lobby until they meet Ilya’s, a smile stretching across his face when he does. 

“Hope I didn’t keep you waiting long,” he greeted as he closed the distance between them. “Are you ready to go?”

“Where are you taking me?”

“You’ll just have to wait and see, Rozy.” He gestured for Ilya to follow him out of the building, and he did. Part of him was unsure why he was willing to blindly trust this man that he barely knew, but he couldn’t stop himself. 

Shane took him to a restaurant, not far from where they had been. Because of the intensity of his schedule, Ilya hadn’t been able to explore the city much. It was truly a beautiful place. It was one of the pros that came with the job, being able to travel and see so many places of the world that he would otherwise have not been able to. 

“What’s so special about this place that you wanted to take me to?” Ilya asked as they walked inside. It seemed to be fairly regular, the decor was nicer than some of the other places he had been during his time here but it was nothing out of the ordinary.

“You’ll see.” Is what he is told instead of getting an actual answer. After a few moments, both men are led through the restaurant by the hostess until they are on the outside patio.

“This is why,” he gestured at the view around them.

The restaurant sat at the edge of one of the Great Lakes, with a view that might as well have been the ocean. Then when you looked over at the land, you were greeted with one of the best views of the Toronto skyline that Ilya had ever seen. It was truly one of the best views. 

“Woah,” he couldn’t help but say in utter amazement. “It’s pretty.”

“I’ll take you down to the shore after we eat. It’s nice this time of year. It gets a little bit warmer next month but neither of us will be there then so this will suffice.”

The table they got was on the outside of the patio, allowing them to have the best view as they ate. Their conversation flowed as it normally did. It wasn’t often that Ilya found himself completely comfortable in the presence of someone else, but he did with Shane. He tried not to think too much about what that meant because he knew this wouldn’t last forever. After the Olympics, they would both go back to their regular lives and this would become nothing but a distant memory. 

Dinner was nice, the food was some of the best that he had in the past few weeks. In his head, he scolded Shane for not bringing him here sooner. Shane insisted on paying for both of their meals, despite Ilya’s protests. 

“Think of it as a goodbye gift from my home country,” he had said as he handed his card to the waiter. “If I ever make it to Russia, dinner is on you.”

While they were eating, the sun had begun its descent into the sky, painting it with color. It reflected off of the water and the buildings, and the entire city seemed to be coming alive. The pair walked down to the path by the water. It was close enough to enjoy but far enough that the waves weren’t a threat to them. 

“Have you enjoyed your time here?” Shane asked, after a silence had fallen between them.

“I have,” Ilya responded honestly. “It’s very different from life at home but not in a bad way. The people here are a lot more friendly. I almost don’t want to leave.”

“How come?”

“Life at home is very…borning.” He seemed to choose his words carefully. “With my schedule, it’s often very lonely. I don’t have many friends because of all of the hours I’m in the pool or at the gym. I don’t train with anyone else. I don’t have the best relationship with my family. Even swimming with you has been very different to what I’m used to.”

“You could’ve told me to leave you alone if that’s how you normally do things.” Ilya hated the guilt that seemed to take over Shane’s face, like he had done something wrong but that could not have been further from the truth.

“No, no.” He said quickly. “I liked it a lot. For the first week I was envious, watching the rest of you all swim together. I wanted it so bad. Then you started talking to me and the times we swam together, it’s the most fun I’ve had in so long. Really I should be thanking you. I just don’t want to go back to my regular life.”

“We still have the whole Olympics to hang out! If you think you’re getting rid of me that easily then you are mistaken, Rozanov.” Ilya was now wearing a smile that was matching Shane’s. 

Ilya was planning on making sure that he kept his word. 

“You know,” Shane began, seeming to hesitate for just a second. “The first time I swam with you, it wasn’t because I had something else to do later. I had just seen you around and really wanted to talk to you but I didn’t know how. I’m glad I took my chances, though. I’ve really enjoyed this time with you, Ilya.”

“I’ve enjoyed it too, Shane.” More than you know was left unsaid. “I’ve grown to like you.”

He pretended to ignore the deep blush that heated up Shane’s face. He couldn’t explain the butterflies that he felt in his stomach at the sight of it. Or the warmth he felt whenever Shane showed up early to swim with him. He just wrote it off as the feeling of a new friendship. He knew it was so much more than that but it was something that would never happen so he didn’t even let himself fantasize about it. It would only hurt him more in the end. 

Without thinking about it, he let himself reach out and grab Shane’s hand as they continued to walk. His heart seemed like it was going to beat out of his chest until Shane held his back. A part of him hated how natural it felt. Like Shane’s hand was meant to fit in his. 

“Come on, it’s getting late.” Shane said as he directed them towards Ilya’s hotel. He hadn’t even realized that the sun had completely faded into the sky and the darkness was starting to take over. 

The walk was much shorter than Ilya had hoped it would be, being just a few blocks away from where they had been.

Outside of the hotel, the pair seemed to linger, neither of them wanting the night to end.

But like all good things, it had to.

“I’ll see you in Rio?” Shane asked, eyes hopeful.

“Of course,” Ilya promised. “I’ll still need a training buddy in the morning, if you’re up for it?”

“Always.”

“Then, I’ll see you there.”

“Goodnight, Ilya.”

The summer air was warm as the sun sank below the trees. Painting the sky with pinks and oranges, making way for the impending night. The streets were mostly empty yet Eddie still found himself in the passenger seat of Buck’s car. These late night rides had become something the pair had grown fond of, the rare nights when they were able to escape from all responsibilities. Windows rolled down, music blasting, nothing else in the world mattered. Sometimes they’d talk and sometimes they wouldn’t. But they had been some of the best nights of Eddie’s life nonetheless. 

Buck’s hand rested on Eddie’s thigh, like always. They both enjoyed the constant touch, knowing that even in the absence of conversation, they were both still right there. Tonight, the setting sun casted a glow over Buck’s face, a sight that Eddie could never get tired of. Night after night he always made sure to take a moment and admire him. With the way the sun was hitting his eyes Eddie was sure they were sparkling, the way his eyes lit up whenever they smiled, or the way songs sounded on his lips. Quite frankly, Eddie thought he was perfect. 

As the song that was playing faded into silence, Buck took it as an opportunity to turn the radio all the way down. This caused Eddie to raise an eyebrow at him, confused, before allowing Buck to speak. 

“So,” Buck started. “I was thinking.”

“Oh no. That’s never good.” Buck’s laugh rang out and a smile instantly spread across Eddie’s face. 

“Oh, shut up.” Eddie’s laugh matched his. “You’re so annoying. What if we stopped somewhere to grab snacks tonight?”

“Huh, for once I think that’s actually not a bad idea.” Eddie responded. “I think there’s a convenience store about 15 minutes from here. We could grab something from there. How does that sound?”

Buck hummed in agreement before turning the volume of the radio up once again. He watched as scenery passed by in a blur - trees and bushes becoming one and the same to his eyes. A few times he catches Eddie taking small glances at him, making butterflies erupt in his stomach each time. 

There had been something between the two of them for years, neither of them wanting to be the person to make the first move. Easily, they had fallen into a rhythm around each other, not wanting to mess it up. Then that rhythm moved from just the station and into their personal lives. Buck would often find himself at Eddie’s. Whether it was playing video games with Christopher or having, what Christopher dubbed as, “family dinner” together, their lives meshed together over time. Neither were really sure when things had finally shifted. The change was so gradual that it seemed like it was meant to be. That was how things had been since then. It was always Buck and Eddie. You very rarely had one without the other. 

Eventually, Eddie heard the sound of Buck turning the blinker on as the car began to slow. They pulled into a near empty parked lot which sat in front of a lonely looking store. It’s only when the car was parked and turned off that Eddie noticed that the sun was completely gone. The only light is coming from the two light poles in the parking lot. 

Buck was the first to get out of the car, Eddie following right behind him. He found his spot right next to Buck seamlessly and their hand finds his - fingers intertwined. There had always seemed to be some outside force pulling them together, that when they finally gave in, it felt like it was meant to be.

The store is quiet when they walk in, the only sound was the bell dinging above their heads as they walked through the door. It was almost an eery sort of silence but they both decided to ignore it. They say a quick hello to the cashier working up at the front but besides that, they were the only people in the store. 

There were rows upon rows of different snack foods for them to choose from. Walking up and down the different aisles, Buck kept pointing out different things that caught his eye. Each time he did so, Eddie would ask if that’s what he wanted, earning the same reply each time - no, that he wanted to keep looking. By the time they had done a full lap around the store, there was still nothing he had said yes to. Meanwhile, Eddie had accumulated a few snacks in his free arm. 

“Did you see anything you liked?” Eddie asked.

“I saw too much,” Buck responded. “There were so many things that looked good, I don’t know what to pick.”

“You can pick more than one thing,” he told Buck, hoping that would make it easier for him to pick something.

“There’s still so many choices though.” Buck complained, to which Eddie chuckled. “I cannot believe you are laughing at my misery. I am literally suffering and you’re over here laughing. This is ridiculous.”

“Please, for the love of god, just pick something.” His tone was playful as he spoke. 

Buck simply rolled his eyes at them but left them standing at the front of the store while he went to grab something. He ended up back at Eddie’s side with only a drink in hand. This gets him yet another confused look. 

“What?” he asked. “You’re looking at me like I’m crazy.”

“You’re the one that wanted food and you came back with only a drink.”

“I know but I’ll just steal some of yours.” 

“What makes you think that I’m going to share with you anyways?”

“Because you love me.”

“Whatever.”

Eddie rolled his eyes but made his way up to the register, anyways. They end up walking out of the store with two bags in hand and Buck following right behind him. 

Once back at the car, Buck sat on the hood of the car, leaning against the glass of the windshield. Eddie remained in his spot, right beside him. One by one he pulled various bags of food out of the bag and handed Buck his soda. After everything is set out in front of them, they pull out their phone and put on music. 

The two eat and talk, enjoying the cool summer breeze in the calmness of the world around them. Time seemed to slip away through their fingertips. 

“I love nights like these,” Buck said to Eddie before placing a chip into his mouth. 

“Like what?” he asked. 

“Like this.” Buck gestured towards both Eddie and the world as if it was enough of an answer. “Existing with you like there is nobody else that matters. It’s my favorite. You’re my favorite.”

“I like this too.” Eddie said, staring into the sky at the stars shining down on them. Even if they were both merely a fraction of the entire universe, they were the whole universe to each other. “Every moment that I get to spend with you is amazing. Whether we’re talking or just driving, I love it. Before I found you, it felt like there was a part of me that was missing. Now that I found you, I know just how full life can really be.”

The conversation fizzled out not long after that, leaving nothing but the music to fill the silence. Two songs played in their entirety uninterrupted before a third song came on. 

“Oh this is my favorite,” Buck said as he jumped up. He extended his hand to help pull Eddie up. 

The song is slower than any of the ones that had played previously. Eddie wasn’t paying much attention to the words because all of his attention was on Buck who was placing his hands on Eddie’s waist. Matching him, he brought his arms up, wrapping them around Buck’s neck. 

The light post above them acted as a spotlight as the two danced around the parking lot. As the song played, Eddie grew more and more relaxed with each passing second. Carefree and enjoying the moment with the person he loves. 

At one point, Buck managed to spin Eddie causing him to laugh. But like with all songs, the end came eventually and the song faded into nothingness. It had given way to a faster and more upbeat song but the pair didn’t care. They continued to slow dance to their own beat. They slowly ended their dance but stayed close to each other, not wanting the moment to truly end. Eddie looked down into Buck’s eyes, smiling. 

“That was… amazing.” He whispered, happiness laced his voice as he spoke. 

Without a moment of hesitation, Buck stood on his tiptoes as his lips met Eddie’s. He felt him smile against their lips before returning the kiss. 

Eddie is the first to pull away, with a smile on his face yet again, telling Buck everything that he needed to know. The two stand like that for a moment, foreheads resting against each other, allowing themselves to continue to soak up the moment.

“Thank you for an amazing night.”

“Who says the night is ending?” Buck asked. “The night is still young, Eddie! Our adventure isn’t over yet.”