zoinks

hey do you want to come outside and play cigarettes with me?

I noticed you havent said anything about my new wound

Wearing this to Costco so the chicken man knows I respect his talent and finesse.

going over to my minimalist girlfriend’s house and she apologizes profusely for the mess and there’s just a single perfect, fresh pea on the floor of her living room

Bet you didn’t think a cute little baby goat like me, resting beneath a black walnut tree to escape the summer heat, would be proficient in Microsoft Excel, did you. Bet you didn’t expect me to know how optimize a spreadsheet by implementing conditional formatting rules huh. Bet you took one look at me and thought “no way this kid knows how to use the VLOOKUP function.” Well guess what, I do. I know a diverse array of useful formulas and my body is capable of digesting poison ivy. I eat that shit like potato chips. Get the fuck out of my paddock