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@prettywordsalone

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stop calling it a girl dinner and call it by its formal name: Fend For Yourself dinner in an ingredients household
I hope I'm online when it happens. I want to see a sudden flood of crab rave memes right after refreshing my dash, and in the middle of it all, the Castiel news meme. That's how I want to learn of it; not through anything solemn or serious, but via overwhelming silly celebration.
she kills me
room for one more? 👀

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this is not enough
"Oh yeah, we have an outdoor Corgi, he just gets so bored cooped up inside all day. He knows to stay off the road. Don't worry, he's way too smart for coyotes and the neighbor's know to look out when they drive past."
"Us? Oh, of *course* our Dachshund sleeps inside- we just let him out in the morning and make sure he comes back for dinner. He just does his own thing, no worries."
"Um, you know it's not humane to keep a chihuahua confined to an apartment? They're dogs, they're natural predators. They need to experience hunting behaviors or they get depressed. No we don't leash ours, he absolutely hates it, we just let him come and go whenever."
Yall get how fucking stupid that sounds, right? So stop letting your goddamn cats get eaten and attacked and infected and hit by cars
A toddler would probably love full unattended access to the neighborhood too, but we don't do that either, do we
It's 2026, "keep your damn pet in a house or in your view" should not be controversial
I had to go on a hunt for this but it was worth it. 100% agree
what’s the pink they put in pink lemonade that makes it so poppin
that’s pussy babe!
Is there not a single stock photo of someone drinking pink lemonade that would have been easier than putting a pink cloud over a water bottle
you think i do this shit cause it easy

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teamwork makes the dream work. and dreamwork. makes shrek
fantastic. i love it. i posted this after my wife said it yesterday and as i was doing it i was like "this can't be an original thought. as soon as i hit post someone's going to say 'you stole this from a tweet from 2014' and i'll say 'no, i stole it from my beautiful wife.'"
Ok, so I was reading this news story:
So far so normal, right? But then:
Like what. And then:
Like, I think Alaska State Trooper Ken Marsh wants to be a romance novelist.
well would you look at that
One of the best posts

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weary and wary are not the same word and have very different meanings and if i see one more person use wearily when they mean warily I’m gonna combust
weary: tired, worn-out, beaten down, exhausted, in need of rest. they were weary after their long journey. wearily, she sat down on the couch and kicked off her shoes. he had grown weary of this conversation.
wary: guarded, cautious, on-edge, careful. they were wary of the approaching stranger. warily, she poked at the dark shape in the corner of her room. he paused, wary, but nodded anyway.
thank you for this reply you get the funny crown today with bonus points for accuracy
Lord Darkar was always my favorite Winx villain. Valtor's cool but this guy gave us Dark Bloom so y'know who's the real MVP