I'm not funny I just think I am

this isn't the gif i thought it would be .

“responsible” exotic pet influencer voice: look at how cute and cuddly my endangered african cat is! don’t you wish you could do this too? remember, though, only i can do this! i’m not promoting this animal as a pet! hey, check out my super awesome king cobra freehandling, doesn’t it make me look badass? again, though, only i can do this! i’m not trying to promote these animals as pets for just anyone! all i do is post constant photos and videos making it look really cool and fun and badass to own these animals! don’t ask where i got them btw

[doesn't understand jacking off] and I'm supposed to... touch my penis? [shaking my head and smiling, murmuring to myself] touching my own penis... [chuckles] what will they come up with next

oh man the painting on this drawing is insa- fuck do you mean #minecraft build

I open my browser i search "skating crossovers" i scroll past 3 unlabelled advertisements i open a page i reject cookies i scroll past 2 paragraphs explaining what skating is i read half an instructional on crossovers and realise that this for ice skating i go back i search "rollerskating crossovers" i scroll past 3 unlabelled advertisements i open a page called "crossovers masterclass" i reject cookies i close "please join our mailing list" it doesnt close all the way i scroll past 2 paragraphs explaining what skating is i realise the info i need is paywalled i go back to results i open a reddit link i reject cookies i read 1 sentence my phone asks me if I want to open the reddit app to see this content i close my browser i go the fuck outside and throw my phone in the sea

big and cutes my me at you

me and my friends at the thingamabob and doohickey convention

you fucking suck at burger

really fond of humans just from an appearance standpoint. the long legs. the manes of hair that can come in practically any colour and texture. those crazy high-contrast eyes with the white scleras and colourful irises. the fingers being so much longer than the toes. there's a lot to love. solid 10/10 animal species

hey there just out of curiosity are you not human, too?

hilariously enough, I am probably the most human out of anyone on this entire site. earlier today I was posting about getting "species euphoria" from doing human activities like ecosystem management. I'm the worlds first therian to have a kintype that aligns with his biological species. shirt that says "I ❤️ being a sapient omnivorous primate & bipedal persistence predator" on the front and booty shorts that say "largest gluteal muscles to body size ratio on the planet"

this girl must have pussy like a pizza bc Everytime she fucks me I have little seizures