I'm not funny I just think I am

this isn't the gif i thought it would be .

“responsible” exotic pet influencer voice: look at how cute and cuddly my endangered african cat is! don’t you wish you could do this too? remember, though, only i can do this! i’m not promoting this animal as a pet! hey, check out my super awesome king cobra freehandling, doesn’t it make me look badass? again, though, only i can do this! i’m not trying to promote these animals as pets for just anyone! all i do is post constant photos and videos making it look really cool and fun and badass to own these animals! don’t ask where i got them btw

[doesn't understand jacking off] and I'm supposed to... touch my penis? [shaking my head and smiling, murmuring to myself] touching my own penis... [chuckles] what will they come up with next

oh man the painting on this drawing is insa- fuck do you mean #minecraft build

I open my browser i search "skating crossovers" i scroll past 3 unlabelled advertisements i open a page i reject cookies i scroll past 2 paragraphs explaining what skating is i read half an instructional on crossovers and realise that this for ice skating i go back i search "rollerskating crossovers" i scroll past 3 unlabelled advertisements i open a page called "crossovers masterclass" i reject cookies i close "please join our mailing list" it doesnt close all the way i scroll past 2 paragraphs explaining what skating is i realise the info i need is paywalled i go back to results i open a reddit link i reject cookies i read 1 sentence my phone asks me if I want to open the reddit app to see this content i close my browser i go the fuck outside and throw my phone in the sea

big and cutes my me at you

me and my friends at the thingamabob and doohickey convention

you fucking suck at burger