Phantastic

would it have cost extra to steal this post in color or what

when all you have is a hammer, everything looks like a nail. when all you have is a paintbrush, everything looks like a canvas. when all you have is a cock, everything looks like the exhaust pipe of a 2014 honda civic. so yes, to answer your question, i am stuck. please call the emergency services

tired of hearing about how saturn is the most fuckable planet just because it has the most rings. jupiter is clearly the most fuckable planet, and trust me, i’ve already heard your “oh the great red spot is an std” jokes, and i don’t care. and btw, the logistics of fucking the rings of a planet don’t make any sense. have fun trying to put your dick through a bunch of jagged rocks and ice, you piece of shit

#hp lovecraft thought penguins were grotesque and horrifying#he was not a difficult man to frighten

I don't want a Career I want to Fuck Around

And not find out. I cannot stress enough how much I do not want to find out.

guards! read me my bedtime yaoi

my liege if you keep having all of the guards come to your bedroom to read you bedtime stories, there will be no one to actually guard the castle during that time!

any intruders are welcome to join us for story time

my liege the enemies to lovers yaoi is affecting your perception of the danger of real enemies.

when will it be my turn.

Tumblr recommended this post to me and I can’t even be mad cos it made me laugh

Happy pride

the father the son and the holy spirit

DO NOT sleep during the day. Youll be like What the hell later

oh man i say that but then i lay down all cozy …

What the hell