whose Horse is that

a watched nut never busts. or something. i dont fucking know what you people find funny anymore. 9/11.

why is this the one

good morning to horror fans, fat bitches, people with psychosis, they/thems, people who can’t drive, trans women, witches, and single dads. the rest of you... you’re on your own

thinking about how when you experience a lot of shame in your formative years (indirectly, directly, as abuse or just as an extant part of your environment) it becomes really difficult to be perceived by other people in general. the mere concept of someone watching me do anything, whether it's a totally normal activity or something unfamiliar of embarrassing, whether I'm working in an excel spreadsheet or being horny on main, it just makes my skin crawl and my brain turn to static because I cannot convince myself that it's okay to be seen and experienced. because to exist is to be ashamed and embarrassed of myself, whether I'm failing at something or not, because my instinctive reaction to anyone commenting on ANYTHING I'm doing is to crawl into a hole and die. it's such a bizarre and dehumanizing feeling to just not be able to exist without constantly thinking about how you are being Perceived. ceaseless watcher give me a god damn break.

Die temu ad die

Hmm. Accidentally looks like latin.

nobodys paying attention to me so im going to microwave forks and knives

you want me to go to work for 8+ hours? like, every day?

you are cordially invited to my pretentious son's french new wave-themed bar mitzvah. you may note the ironic tone of his dvar torah and the use of jump cuts in his childhood photos slideshow.

Going for a run is like this is the worst thing that’s ever happened to anyone ever I feel so much better

My good friend El Chupacabra got tickets to a Mountain Goats concert and I don’t think she knows and I don’t have the nerve to break her heart

cursed with "do you still like me?" "are you mad at me?" "did i do something wrong?" disorder

im not 17 anymore and i should find something new to talk about but remember when ophelia said “i hope all will be well” (4.5)

pain is stored in the shakespearean woman

this isn’t an original thought by any means but when shakespeare wanted to examine the depths and nuance of human suffering it was almost always most effective in his women. you got the articulate outbursts (oh god that i were a man i would eat his heart in the marketplace) (grief fills the room up of my absent child. have i not reason, then, to be fond of grief?) (the time was, father, that you broke your word) etc etc but tbh what gets me is how often they’re the ones to sorta metatextually admit that something’s unspeakable, which is a wild thing to do in a shakespeare play. romeo monologues in the sepulcher for a long time but juliet says “i’ll be brief”/lady macbeth can’t talk about it at all she sleeptalks and kills herself offstage/isabella’s told she’s getting married and never speaks again/ hamlet talks and talks and talks bc he’s convinced he can work it all out that way as if there’s something to understand about pain besides that it hurts, but she doesn’t try to explain her songs to anybody. unhappy that i am i cannot heave my heart into my mouth etc

I heard too many sounds at once and now I am a bitch