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@kindofwriter
any hokumheads in the crowd?…

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I have four days to really lock in and write the rest of my The Shards fanfics oh no
(source)
this cat has more followers than i can fathom honestly a lot of people know about this cat... that's pretty close to immortality
"The Shards potential for multiple seasons" you will not catch me dead watching a show without Matt Kellner in it
Person who asked me for a bootleg then immediately blocked me? You can have it bro, but you gotta unblock me first 😭 at least for a few mins

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*so horny I'm about to pass out* nono it's fine, keep exposing a lil bit of tummy every time u stretch ur arms up its totally fine I'm so normal about it
The Shards marketing team is like "nothing is more important than our main characters being hot! Look how hot they are!" then you look at the main characters of The Shards and three of them canonically have restrictive eating disorders,,,
Suddenly I saw in front of me the Statue of the Faun, the Statue that I love above all others. There was his calm, faintly smiling face; there was his forefinger gently pressed to his lips. In the past I have always thought he meant to warn me of something with that gesture: Be careful! But today it seemed to mean something quite different: Hush! Be comforted! I climbed up on to his Plinth and flung Myself into his Arms, wrapping my arm around his Neck, intertwining my fingers with his Fingers. Safe in his embrace, I wept for my lost Sanity. Great, heaving sobs rose up, almost painfully, from my chest.
Hush! he told me. Be comforted!
I resolve to take better care of Myself.
No, I'm sorry, what do you mean 9/11 was happening but you were totally oblivious due to the fact that at 5am that morning you were still up, alone in a bathroom in a faux speakeasy doing cocaine with your famously gay college frienemy who you've always been obsessed with and I'm the first person ever to think that's a little bit gay?
Lili Anolik should've asked Jonathan Lethem if he'd ever had gay thoughts
Lethem in the summer of 1984, on the road trip of a lifetime with his friend, about to visit a new place for the first time, newly unburdened with the pressure of school, working on a manuscript: I bet Bret Ellis is meeting with his stupid editors at his stupid publishing house to work on his stupid book, then going out with stupid famous authors at night and making stupid connections and getting inspiration for his stupid future novels and sleeping with stupid boys.
Ellis in the summer of 1984: I hope I eat a hamburger today.
I was fucking around before, but I'm reading Lethem's autobiography? Personal essay collection? I don't know, non-fic writing, and like,,, they should've just fucked. It would've been so much simpler than whatever tf they were actually doing.
Text I sent my bsf lol

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If you enjoyed the coming of age aspect of The Shards and want to be emotionally devastated by an even less popular book might I suggest ruining your life by reading Playworld by Adam Ross. It's killing me
If I had a nickel for every time I read a book set in the early 80s about an extremely lonely, isolated teenage boy who's abused by all the trusted adults in his life, has a complicated relationship with the film industry, watches his friends do awful things, is a little chubby but ultimately loses weight to the point of delirium, is groomed and raped by a nasty 40 y/o man, thinks about how he's dressed all the time without ever caring about clothes, falls deeply but temporarily in love with every other teenager he meets, and narrates his story 40 years after the fact then I'd have two nickels, which isn't a lot, but damn those are some specific plot points.
we must try to find some small joy in this life because it is actually all we have
my actual children . . . ( Dorian Gray and Basil Hallward )
Re-reading my own Matt Kellner fics because I know I am the sole target audience
halloween party

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just say when, i'd play again
SHOT OF BRET LISTENING TO THE MATT KELLNER TAPE?!?! Just kill me right now