I'm pretty sure god has a vendetta against me

I honestly forget that I'm a whore until I find myself on my knees in an anonymous 4-way, like "... oh yeah, that's right: I'm a slut 🤔" Anyway, Happy Pride 🏳️‍🌈

Hearing my summer professor tell me that my speech impediment makes my verbal responses in class "distracting" and "disruptive to the other students' learning experiences" was truly soul crushing. Especially when I'm the only one answering the questions correctly while the rest of the class stares at her for a solid minute before she finally lets me speak. Fine bitch, I recorded that shitty comment since you consented to your lectures being taped and I'll be speaking with the dean and the Title IX office about disability harassment. Meanwhile, I'm never answering another question in your class again 🖕 If your dumb ass had paid attention to that email I sent before class began, you'd know that my TBI-related Broca's Aphasia is documented with the university, so you REALLY fucked up. Congratulations on facing some severe consequences in the near future you ableist piece of shit 👏 I hope the 3 awkward laughs you got in response to that comment were worth the risk to your job. I know you don't have tenure either, so good luck with that 🫡 Never underestimate someone based on their disabilities... someone like me is just waiting for a justifiable reason to unleash all of their pent up rage.

If I could go back in time, I'd go back to the night that I graduated college at the age of 17. I'd sit myself down and tell him: "I'm sorry, kid. But this is it. This is the last and only good thing that will ever happen to you. You're going to be diagnosed with a potentially fatal condition in 3 months, and when you get the surgery to try to save your life, you'll end up permanently disabled and in constant chronic pain instead. The surgeon will do the operation incorrectly, and you will suffer for 8 years before anyone thinks to take an x-ray to discover that your titanium implants are ripping their way out of the back of your head. Then the surgery you get to fix that won't go well either. You'll have countless other surgeries for countless other conditions, and your quality of life will never, ever improve. Tonight, the night of your graduation, is the single greatest night you will ever have in your entire life. Everything goes downhill after this. You will never be happy. You will never know love. You will hate yourself every single day of your life, and you'll always wish you had died young. So do it. Kill yourself. Tonight. This is as good as it will ever get. You might as well go out on a high note. The life you lead after this is a pathetic one that is not worth living. You do not want to see what the coming years hold. You will always wish that you had died tonight."

My sister-in-law's audacity never ceases to amaze me, because she fully sat there and told me I could never comprehend how hard she had to work and how "truly smart she had to be" to earn an online certificate in biblical studies from a pretty notorious cult organization... all the while I am earning YET ANOTHER graduate degree, but that "doesn't count" because "I'm a sheep that believes in whatever the universities tell me to believe" (even though 90% of what I do is independent research and writing original papers)... but she fully believes she's the intelligent one for completing a 9 month online certificate course that cost as much as a real degree? Which doesn't even qualify her for a job?? Be so ffr. Her maga brainrot is terminal

it kind of says a lot about me that the literal only way to get me to cry inconsolably is to show me any media in which at least one (1) parent actually loves and cares for their child

Last June, for a few glorious hours, I genuinely thought I had throat cancer and that I would finally die and I'd finally be done with my suffering. I had never been more devastated than to learn that it was just a massive infectious abscess blocking my airway. I wanted it to be a metastatic tumor so bad. I wanted to be put out of my misery so I could finally die after being tortured by medical malpractice for 11 years straight. As a result, I pray for a terminal cancer diagnosis every day. I just want to be done. I have nothing and no one to live for. There are so many weapons in my parents house... maybe I should shoot myself in the room I got raped in as a toddler... the same one they pretended was soundproof so they never had to think about why I was bleeding profusely from my ass when he was done with me. Maybe if I paint the walls in my brains, they can't ignore that as easily as they ignored my cries for help.