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This passage stood out to me on my first read of the secret history as surprisingly unimportant despite practically being the main topic of the scene. Though it reveals a similarity between Richard and Bunny, specifically contrasting them to the rest of the greek class (further cementing them as the ‘outsiders’), the phrase ‘impressionable age’ and Charles acknowledging that he personally couldn’t understand why Richard wouldn’t smoke, feels purposeful in a scene that otherwise has no bearing on the plot.
To a slightly lesser extent, the fact that Richard found the image of a cigarette burn more horrific than Camilla having hair being pulled out and her wrist being discoloured, I also originally believed had no real reasoning. Though it could potentially be because it seems a far more purposeful harm, something Charles, (again it being Charles who is the perpetrator and the one who can’t understand why Richard does not smoke) had to have had to intent to do to Camilla instead of a potential 'accident', I still didn't understand why it would be this injury that stuck out the most to him.
Richard being a victim of physical abuse is something only revealed to us after this interaction he has with Camilla and despite being so imperative to his character. It often feels as though it's something he avoids mentioning head on, I don't believe he wishes to label himself as a victim. Quite similarly to how he avoids labeling what Charles does to Camilla as abuse. Though this is undoubtedly tied into his treatment of Camilla and his misogynistic outlooks, I think it’s a similarity of their characters that is interesting. Camilla herself still defends Charles after the abuse she endures and though she admits aloud Charles attempted to kill her, she still never describes herself as what she is in this situation - a Victim.
Even Richard himself admits he originally believed his Father had a reason to treat him the way he did. That it was only when seeing it done to someone else (his Mother) that he came to realisation that it was completely illogical. Though the details between Charles and Camilla do not have a black and white answer as to when and what happened, I don’t think it would be wrong to say it had likely been going on for far longer than Camilla would want to admit. Furthermore, Camilla's own defense of Charles is referred to as being given with a "childlike swiftness," similarly worded like Richard's own "childish impression."
Directly after this he compares his 'horror' at witnessing Charles and Henry's argument to that of watching his Father harm his Mother. He feels the same as he did when he was younger at an 'impressionable age'. Viewing the act of something that forces him to think of his own abuse makes him feel uneasy, dismayed.
Focusing on the fact that Charles, the character who leaves the cigarette burns on Camilla, is the only person who is mentioned in all three of these scenes and is the one that assumes Richard's aversion to smoking to be something that stems from childhood, I don't think it's too much of a reach to believe that he's correct.
Along with the use of the word 'horrified' as a descriptor for Richard's reaction to Camilla's burn mark and 'incredulous horror' being something he feels at the memory of his child abuse being brought back to mind due to his friends, I believe he's going through something similar in both of these scenes.
The use of injury within Camilla and Richard is quite the opposite at the beginning (Richard’s head wound during the winter, Camilla’s foot wound at the lake), yet changes during this scene as Camilla has a scab at her temple, a similar placement to Richard’s head wound (and they are both looked after by Henry after these injuries). Even her bruised wrist is, along with Richard's own black eye, the only bruises in the novel enacted with physical violence from another (both also being over romantic entanglements and jealousy.) Therefore, I don’t believe it’s a stretch to imply Richard had likely had a similar injury of cigarette burns during his own abuse, and works as an explanation to why the sight horrified him so much despite his usual desensitisation towards violence.
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In kinder world, Henry wakes up in the morning to find find Cam and Rich (both of whom he’s dating) in the kitchen making him breakfast; Cam clad in only the top half of his HMW pajamas and Richard shirtless wearing the bottoms.
the logistics of a sexual dynamic between papencaulay would be so fucked up because it’s two deeply repressed men with horrific cases of internalised homophobia, one of them who is an abusive alcoholic and the other who’s a people pleaser (to a concerning degree) that was abused his entire life… world’s scariest bdsm relationships with no discussions of boundaries in sight
if you see me liking contradicting headcanons for the same character just know it's because I do not give a fuck and I have an active imagination #hewouldsaythat
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Richard whose eyes, later into the book, stop looking like this
And start looking like this all the time
Richard who, later into the book, has been spotted wandering around at odd hours of the night, and whose eyes are scarily good at finding the people staring at him, but even better at staring through them rather than at them.
Richard who, later into the book, can catch someone staring from a scary distance and will continue to stare at them until his attention is divided elsewhere or the person leaves.
Richard who, later in the book, has had Judy, or occasionally Francis or one of the twins, walk into his room after not seeing him at class for a day or two and finding him pacing endlessly muttering to himself what he thinks his actually his thoughts, and is all nonsense that doesn't string together properly.
Richard who, later in the book, can be seen going through many emotions in a very short amount of time, especially when high/drunk.
Richard who, later in the book, can be caught in the middle of class staring into nothing without blinking for minutes on end with a wide-eyed look that instantly goes back to being like shown before when snapped out of it.
Richard who, later in the book, learns to mimic others to a T but in an uncanny way that makes it feels unnerving to speak to him, because he's familiar, but not in the right way.
Richard who, later in the book, becomes clearly mentally ill to others in a way that causes him to be very uncanny to everyone, including the Greek Freaks.
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i wonder how richard would react to the knowledge that the two most popular pairings that came from a book with his narration are both gay relationships involving him
kianamaiart
blakekathryn
stormborns
2087
