mac

We watched toy story 2 today and they say suicide prominently in the first act. So whenever someone says "unalive," they are operating at a sub-toy story level of vocabulary maturity

Btw people elsewhere reverse searched the image and confirmed it’s a stock image of a trans woman. This was a conscious decision to degender her and give her a masculine name

Tumblr did not “Goncharov” Poob. Poob is Glupp Shittoing Tubi/Pluto/Roku Channel/Hulu/etc.

none of these words are in the bible. or the dictionary, for that matter.

#While this is a joke#For the etymologists out there#Tumblr did not “goncharov” poob#translation: Tumblr is not making a fictitious thing called poob that we insist is real#Poob is glup shittoing (streaming services)#Translation: Poob is now a generic name for whatever streaming platform is out there when you don't feel like naming something specifically

Etymologists are on Tumblr for the same reason Primatologists are out in the jungle: It's where the Monkeys are.

happy 39th birthday to this queen

all good things come to those who wait i say with tears in my eyes

why is my entire dash 9/11 jokes did smth happen or

Why healing wound so itchy if itching wound while healing so bad????????

sibling relationships are so strange... like i love you. you will never understand me in a way that matters. we are the same person in drastically different ways. we are sewn together. we don't talk. we are attached at the hip. you wish i was never born. can i call you. let's eat together. i forgive you. etc

I’d give my brother my kidney but I wouldn’t get him a glass of water

Replaying Unpacking and once again falling in love with my fictional wife whom I have never seen through the simple act of unpacking all her stuff

My beautiful femme wife who loves plants and a very specific tv show. I will organise the bathroom so that your large makeup collection is easily accessible to you. My oil burner and your incense stand will make beautiful scents together. Do not mind my ever-expanding collection of model chickens that's. That's just something you're going to have to live with.

I will make room for your one pair of very sexy knee-high boots that don't fit on the shoe rack. Never fear, I will handle it. We should buy more coat hangers.

“Etsy witch” about to become euphemism for hit man

i run a coin-operated laundromat that contracts with many independent bookkeepers and etsy witches for legitimate purposes

Imagine unexpectedly popping up in Valhalla with your pants around your ankles because just half a minute ago you were taking a shit so bad that the Viking gods decided that it should count as dying in battle.

critical support for that one guy in the front row loudly cheering while everyone else was ducking for cover. can we start him a gofundme or something

you forgot to identify the pink one

you forgot to identify the pink one

Adam & Eve Silicone G-Gasm Rabbit based on the curved vibrating tip, dual motors, 7 vibration modes, and fully waterproof pink silicone casing

@identifying-cars-in-posts what's the car tho

2011-2014 Ford F-150

content warning: sexual assault. ok timeline so be for real is sexual assault roleplay okay if I'm a cafab nonbinary? my boyfriend or significant other or whatever is a nonbinary white trans woman so I know it is up to me to do it if we do do my non-consensual roleplay because he is camab so if we do a male on female non-consensual roleplay it might be non-consensual non-consensual ie for real sexual assault. oh yeah to me he is my he because we do boyfriend on girlfriend roleplay, my two cents is it is ok because too long didn't read I'm neurodivergent xD

honestly brilliant writing by the op here. they really managed to capture the essence of a certain type of person