catching my mime child smoking an imaginary cigarette and forcing them to smoke the entire imaginary pack

Thinking im having a pretty normal & happy time in my life right now but im also obsessively reading ntbtstmrpf so i can sense that something must be up

when i was 14 i was blindingly obsessed with s1-4 of 2005 doctor who then disliked everything about the show from s5 onward which led me to blogs on tumblr where people posted essays about stephan moffat being a terrible showrunner and misogynist and this led me to blogs where people ranted about why they hated benedict cumberbatch and martin freeman. and one of these blogs got an ask requesting similar blogs to follow and they replied with a url and the caveat “i don’t know if she actually hates martin freeman or if she just hates her attraction to him” and the blog was full of this person just frustrated out of their fucking mind posting nonstop about martin freeman with equal amounts of all consuming lust for his body and total disgust for him as a person. and that really stuck with me.