Another human being, particularly one with whom you are physically and/or emotionally involved, has many uses. These should not, however, include the following. Confirming your worth as a person / Taking away your feelings of inadequacy and shame / Making you feel intelligent, sexy, and worthy of a high-powered job / Making you happy every minute of the day. While she may assist in these matters, the task of fully achieving them essentially belongs to you. Should you expect her, or anyone like her with whom you come into contact either naked or partially clothed, to fulfill these essential duties, you are not only certain to be disappointed but you will over-burden any relationship you attempt to engage in until it crashes through several floors of the building, disintegrating into rubble. You are not entirely to blame for being startled that these skills are not meant to be provided by others, but rather ones you must supply your very own self. Our entire culture is set up to reinforce the notion that other people exist to give you the worth you are lacking. Everything from music (except when written by Courtney Love) to books and films (except when involving Anne Rice or Isabelle Adjani, whose oeuvres function as purely cautionary tales) conspires to prove that you may not have found someone to make you complete, but everybody else has, so there's clearly something wrong with you. Happily, once you recognize that by expecting another person to fulfill all these needs for you, you are dooming yourself to a life of continual disappointment, you will do quite nicely living with your lowered expectations. And since you're already quite skilled at blaming yourself (at least those of you traditionally reared on the fun-loving girl program that has proven so rewarding for the psychiatric and pharmaceutical professions), the handy recipient of the blame for your inevitable failureāthat is, youāwill be already at hand to enjoy the punishments and shame you have devised. On the brighter side, there are things you may expect from another human being, even a significant other human. A person, even your girlfriend, may not unreasonably be expected to do the following: Share your enjoyment of life / Make you look at things from a different perspective / Give you support, comfort, or at least advice / Surprise you / Make you laugh / Make you want to have sex / Make you dinner / Give you the occasional massage, though not nearly as often as when you were first going out. It may seem to you that these options are not dissimilar from the list of Don'ts shown earlier. Wrong. They are so different as to be virtually in another category, which is why in one they're Don'ts and in the other Do's. Supporting, nurturing, aiding, abetting, and helping can certainly be part of your interaction as two seperate humans, but they feel completely different when practiced with the intent of rendering whole one seemingly complete but actually radically insecure and needy person. No one can make you whole, not evenāparticularly not evenāthe person whose job you believe this is by virtue of the fact that she's your girlfriend. Losing yourself in someone whom you allow to provide your sense of self-worth is not only addictive but dangerous, unless the person providing the sense of self-worth is you. You are less likely to beat yourself black and blue and put yourself in the hospital, cheat on yourself, or scream out insulting things about your body or personality you never realized you didn't like.
snowghoul
yousharknotpass
amandla
romaincrisis
jacobvanloon
dailybridgerton
titsay
