M'lord

They just look so tired and ready to give up.

it was a rough summer in halifax

Um actually scrub daddy is my comfort character and it physically and psychically hurts me to see you chop him up and eat him after freezing and cracking him up with liquid nitrogen while naked with big boobs?

Ill be a star

i dont know what love island is but from what ive heard its like danganronpa for people that use snapchat

wait op is 15. I don't want to argue with them. [visibly scheduling a reblog] what day is op's birthday

first of all happy birthday. congratulations on making it this far. you'll find that I edited the contents of this reblog for each of your birthdays that passed since you made this post to include slightly more personal wishes and I'm honestly really proud of you. also I'm sorry about your cat(?), since there was never a good time to say it so I thought I'd just include those condolences while I'm at it. now with all that out of the way,

if you tragically passed before this reblog arrived, I'm sorry about that. but please understand I've been waiting quite a while and it would feel like such an anticlimax if I cancelled this. have a peer take over your spot in the argument if you're uh... you know... unavailable, to put it delicately. sorry if that happened, also.

anyway, to get back on track, digimon was not just worse pokemon

every year around late may, without fail, this post starts getting notes again . and my little wet raw chicken breast of a brain gets puzzled. because i forget that summer is , in fact. a yearly event

love island should introduce a "scheming eunuch" islander who is like a smart and completely asexual islander exempt from being kicked off or being made to participate in any challenges and they're just there to provide advice and be a sort of sounding board for the other islanders when they need a disinterested party to talk things through with. but the scheming eunuch has secret goals unbeknownst to anyone e.g. a cash prize for talking a certain couple into breaking up etc.

beer before beer that's ✌️two beers

Fuck dude you really can’t

This is the first ad I’ve seen on here that actually fits tumblr’s demographic

hello male writer. before you is a typewriter. you have one day to write a novella with a woman as the protagonist without describing her breasts. the timer begins now

Her ass was like a peach, and brother I’m in her pit.

well. that one’s on me