CONSUMED BY DEATH,

George Seferis, from Collected Poems; "Memory I" (tr. Edmund Keeley and Philip Sherrard)

i bet you can see a hundred miles from the top .

you mean you’re not weary of me after an entire day of marriage ?

are we the only ones here ?

that’s no way to run a business .

that’s my [ name ] ,  always finding that silver lining .

my attention was needed elsewhere .

i promise from here on out ,  it will be nothing but silver linings .

today is a very special day for us .

i’m starting to think i’ve gone  &  married a thrill seeker .

are we looking for excitement ?

see what happens when you chase a thrill ?

if you’ll excuse me ,  i have work to return to .

i’m sure we’ll see each other again soon .

this feels like some sort of treacherous plot .

close your eyes ,  &  face the mirror .

aren’t you clever  &  romantic ?

don’t fight it  …  it’ll only hurt more if you do .

you’re only prolonging the inevitable .

what have you done ?!

you’re wasting your last chance to tell him that you love him .

it’s so good to have company .  for a long time ,  i was on my own .

i can barely recall a time when i was not here .

what good are stories without someone to experience them ?

art can elicit all sorts of reactions .

you’re responsible for what happens .  you’re culpable .

i can’t interfere ,  that’s very much against the rules .

it’s tough being honest when it means everyone just thinks you’re a bitch .

i’m sick of being on my own .

it’s a fucking mess ,  to be honest with you .

i think we’ve heard quite enough .

i was born with the devil in me .

i could not help the fact that i was a murderer any more than a poet can help the inspiration to sing .

just being dead ain’t enough to stop me from killing again .

actually ,  it’s what i can do for you .

do you know where we’re going ,  exactly ?

it was 100% your fault .  you fly by the seat of your ass .

was this part of the plan ?  did you know about this ?

i figured we needed all the help we could get .

downtime ?  why would you want to do that ?

i’ve got a lot going on at the moment ,  [ name ] .

you got any family you can go bother ?

‘ married to the job ’ …  how’s that marriage working out ?

we agreed to let that drop for the weekend .

sorry for giving you a hard time .

christ ,  what the hell is that ?

it’s gonna be okay ,  it’s all gonna be okay .

i’ll explain everything later .

are you sure ?  ‘cos you don’t seem sure .

i’m charming ,  &  you can hotwire your way past security .

hey ,  can i ask you something  &  get a straight answer ?

shh ,  get down !

this is ridiculous ,  there’s nothing out here .

i heard you were looking for a new place .

if i wanted to go on nature hikes ,  i wouldn’t have moved to the city .

you can do it .  eyes forward ,  don’t look down .

you always knew how to get me through the shit ,  didn’t you ?

maybe this won’t be a waste of a weekend .

i told you this was a good plan ,  didn’t i ?

you’ve been out  &  about all day ,  &  i have to sit here worrying .  gone all day ,  &  not a word from you !

i don’t think we’re the only ones here .

this is my don’t be scared song ,  sing it  &  i won’t be scared long !

scream if you need me for anything .

something about this place makes me wanna use the buddy system .

you talk in your sleep   …   not sure if i ever told you that .

you’re cute when you’re worked up .

cute ?   …  you think i’m cute ?

i try to pretend like it isn’t a thing ,  you know .

if my cheeks are red ,  it’s from this wine .

sorry .  didn’t mean to make you feel weird .

i’m fucking with you ,  i’ve been wanting to kiss you for months .

sorry ,  did i interrupt something ?

i can’t find my room  &  i need a fucking cigarette .

i’m not stressed ,  okay ?  do i look fucking stressed ?

this place is massive ,  surely there’s a pack of cigarettes here .

stick with me ,  [ name ] ,  i’m going places .

[ name ] ,  there’s something important you have to understand .

no ,  come on ,  you piece of shit  …  don’t do this to me !

i’m supposed to buy  “ nothing ”  is eating up at you ?

i still think your priorities are fucked .

what about taking a huge risk  &  just DO something ?

are you trying to butter me up ?

we don’t need to rehash stuff ,  let’s just work .

you’re only asking me ‘cos your arms are too short for a good selfie angle .

maybe we should just add this topic to our  “ discussion no - fly zone ”  list .

shit ,  that scared the fuck out of me .

at some point ,  you have to give up the ghost .

you’ve been doing your research ,  haven’t you ?

are you taking a survey or trying to learn something ?

would it kill you to be direct ?

you want to know what inspired me ?  as if i wasn’t the original ?

you look amazing ,  as usual .

i heard enough ,  thank you ,  i know what betrayal sounds like .

i’m not blind ,  i know what i saw .

this could work to our advantage .

am i the only one that’s getting really freaked out by this place ?

can you stop trying to make this worse ?

don’t come crying to me if you end up dead .

choices ,   [ name ] ,  make better choices .

this is your own damn fault .

it’s all about the honey trap .

you bring me some smokes ?  like i asked ?

that’s what i remember most .  those screams .

you’ll never really know how it feels to watch the fire burn out of somebody .

thanks for that stuff you said at dinner .  it was nice to hear .

we’re all on the same side ,  sometimes we forget .

get me out of here !  i can’t see a thing !

count your breaths .  one,  two,  three,  in  …

how very rude ,  not to stay for dinner .

i can only observe ,  &  it can be  …  frustrating to watch .

in some ways ,  i envy you .

something is very not right here .

i’ve been waiting on you for ages to actually make a decision about something ,  anything ,   &  now this is when you suddenly choose to take a stand ?

your delusions make for such great plans .

would it kill you to think positively just once ?

it’s not even the worst idea i’ve had this evening .

don’t go patting yourself on the back ,  i still think your priorities are fucked .

i can care about more than one thing at a time .

working this job has made me really understand what a sociopath is .

you always assume the worst .

help me !   please  –  please ,  i’ll do anything !

maybe you’re right ,  but you don’t need to be an asshole about it .

i guess i was holding out for things to change with us .

i have never once shied away from telling you where my priorities were .

i have to live with it every day  &  now someone knows .

someone WANTED me to find this .

you have to get the fuck out ANY way you can .  just get the FUCK OUT !

are you losing your shit ?  ‘cos i don’t need that right now .

maybe we just focus on one thing at a time .

[ name ]  …  i found a way out ,  maybe .

i don’t know what i was expecting .

what the fuck is this ?

[ name ] ,  what are you doing ?  just stay back .

no way this is happening .

it’s gotta be fake  …  a prop ,  or from  …  an animal or something .

it can be difficult working with someone you’ve been involved with .

i think we can bust through this thing .

i’ve had enough of this shit ,  what the hell is going on ?

the walls are moving again .

i’m not a fuckin’ lab rat here for your amusement !

don’t look at me like that .  you know i’m right .  you get it .

you got to do something that matters .

think of the most profound thing you’ve ever done .

i see the gleam in your eye ,  [ name ] .  you can’t fool me .

there  …  there you are .  i see you now .

bare hands can feel good ,  huh ?  but the blade makes for such a prettier picture .

how far down does it go ?

there’s blood everywhere ,  &  …  &  a body .

one of us is going to have to be bait .

you could use that as a weapon if need be .

what an excruciating way to go .

people can surprise you sometimes .

as always ,  i’ll be watching very closely .

hurry the fuck up !

it’s a forest ,  it could be anything .

can you not freak me out even more than i already am ?

i wasn’t expecting you .

you’re a selfish monster  …  always have been .

predictable little shit ,  i know you .

[ name ] !  i thought i lost you .

all good things must come to an end .

can you find your own way out ?

Claire C. Holland, from I Am Not Your Final Girl: Poems; “Jess”